The Toddler Discipline Script That Backfires & What to Do Instead

The Toddler Discipline Script That Backfires & What to Do Instead

The Toddler Discipline Script That Backfires & What to Do Instead


In this episode, we're diving into the shortcomings of widely shared toddler discipline advice, particularly the 'validation boundary method.'

Learn why popular scripts like 'It's okay to be mad, but we don't hit' can backfire, reinforcing unwanted behaviors and leading to parental burnout.

We'll explore eight key reasons why this approach is ineffective and offer alternative strategies that focus on proactive, compassionate, and effective discipline techniques that are just a small tweak to change that could make a huge impact. Discover the importance of clear modeling, co-regulation, and addressing sensory needs to help toddlers manage their emotions constructively. Also, get a sneak peek into our upcoming book, 'The Perfectly Imperfect Family,' and how it can be a valuable resource for mindful parenting.

Heather announced her upcoming co-authored book, 'The Perfectly Imperfect Family: Real Solutions for Mindful Parents Navigating Today’s Biggest Challenges,' which offers practical wisdom from experts on navigating challenging family situations: https://www.heatherschalkparenting.com/signup-list-for-book

00:00 Introduction to Toddler Discipline Issues

00:46 The Validation Boundary Method Explained

02:06 Why the Script Fails: Eight Reasons

07:55 Upcoming Book Announcement

09:41 Empathy and Emotional Attunement

16:20 The Importance of Visual and Physical Cues

18:29 Parental Burnout and Final Thoughts

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like separation anxiety, I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's Coming Soon! So STAY TUNED!

And be sure to grab the 3 Steps to a Calm, Kind, and Caring Toddler Free Class and guide!

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Ready to get your toddler to listen in 2 seconds?

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children who listen in 2 seconds.

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My Toddler Won’t Listen and Fights with Their Sibling

My Toddler Won’t Listen and Fights with Their Sibling

Are you feeling frustrated and at your wit's end with aggressive toddler behavior? Sign up for the Transform Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop waitlist!Do you feel like your toddler’s behavior is turning into a dangerous situation and affecting their siblings? We call this the “Code Red Zone.”When your toddler’s behavior starts negatively affecting their siblings and things start getting physical, it’s time to call in the team!How can we identify these Code Red situations before they get out of hand and how can we avoid them entirely?In this episode, Heather is showing you how! First, we must understand what causes these Code Red situations to occur, then we can begin to unpack how to stop them before they begin.Let’s journey through these difficult behaviors together and learn how to diffuse sibling disputes calmly and effectively!------------------------------------------------------Ready to get your toddler to listen in 2 seconds?Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children who listen in 2 seconds.Join the waitlist for the Transforming Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop!Sign up for the Public Tantrum Game Plan workshop!Grab the 3 Steps to Less Meltdowns GuideTake the Meltdown Mastery: The Listening and Skilled Toddler Mini-CourseJoin the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @twinmom_roadmapWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog

15 Maj 202415min

When Toddler Behavior Gets Out of Control

When Toddler Behavior Gets Out of Control

Are you stuck in the Toddler Reactivity Loop?Your toddler does something they shouldn't and you tell them "no" and try to redirect them, but their behavior just gets worse. They start hitting, kicking, biting, and throwing things at you or their siblings.What do you do? When a toddler's behavior gets out of control, it often becomes very difficult to figure out how to get things back under control. And as your toddler's behavior spirals, so does your mood. You become more stressed and more reactive. (And if you're feeling frustrated and at your wit's end with aggressive toddler behavior, be sure to sign up for the Transform Aggressive Toddler Behavior Workshop!)In this episode, Heather's breaking down this Toddler Reactivity Loop, how to determine if you're stuck in the Family Fracture Phase, what to do about it, and how to dig beneath the behavior to finally break the cycle.Grab your toolkit and make room for another tool to help you navigate life with a toddler!------------------------------------------------------Ready to get your toddler to listen in 2 seconds?Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children who listen in 2 seconds.Join the waitlist for the Transforming Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop!Sign up for the Public Tantrum Game Plan workshop!Grab the 3 Steps to Less Meltdowns GuideTake the Meltdown Mastery: The Listening and Skilled Toddler Mini-CourseJoin the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @twinmom_roadmapWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog

8 Maj 202427min

Toddler Boundaries and Power Struggles

Toddler Boundaries and Power Struggles

Are you feeling frustrated and at your wit's end with aggressive toddler behavior? Sign up for the Transform Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop waitlist!Is your toddler's fight for control becoming exhausting for you and your family?When a toddler tries to get what they want by becoming aggressive and hitting, throwing, and/or biting, this behavior becomes draining for the entire family and can often drive wedges between family members.In this episode, Heather's talking all about how to handle power struggles between you and your toddler, why this behavior happens in the first place, and how to set healthy, appropriate boundaries.------------------------------------------------------Ready to get your toddler to listen in 2 seconds?Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children who listen in 2 seconds.Join the waitlist for the Transforming Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop!Sign up for the Public Tantrum Game Plan workshop!Grab the 3 Steps to Less Meltdowns GuideTake the Meltdown Mastery: The Listening and Skilled Toddler Mini-CourseJoin the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @twinmom_roadmapWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog

1 Maj 202410min

Infant Experience with Early Pain and the Toddler Years

Infant Experience with Early Pain and the Toddler Years

Is your toddler highly sensitive to external stimuli and pain?Do they seem to have problems handling loud noises, uncomfortable clothing, or things that seem out of place?If your toddler also had procedures or operations done when they were an infant, there could be a correlation between the pain they experienced then and the sensory processing challenges they are experiencing now.In this episode, Heather delves into this interesting and complex topic as she discusses various studies that have been performed, key findings, and her own personal experience with this exact dynamic.It's time to grab your toolkit and make room for another helpful tool that will guide you in caring for your toddler and the challenges they experience through sensory input!**And don't forget to sign up for the Transforming Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop where you'll learn some key strategies for addressing aggressive (or even just button-pushing) behavior in your toddler and transform the chaos into calm!**------------------------------------------------------Ready to get your toddler to listen in 2 seconds?Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children who listen in 2 seconds.Join the waitlist for the Transforming Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop!Sign up for the Public Tantrum Game Plan workshop!Grab the 3 Steps to Less Meltdowns GuideTake the Meltdown Mastery: The Listening and Skilled Toddler Mini-CourseJoin the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @twinmom_roadmapWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog

24 Apr 202427min

My Toddler Isn't Napping and Not Comfortable Being Alone to Fall Asleep with Jensine Casey

My Toddler Isn't Napping and Not Comfortable Being Alone to Fall Asleep with Jensine Casey

It's every parent's most dreaded day with their toddler. The day their toddler stops taking naps!What do we do when our toddler decides they no longer want to take naps, thereby ending our most cherished quiet time?The answer is to not start panicking!Pediatric sleep consultant Jensine Casey is back on the podcast with us to share her top tips for handling the no-nap transition, how to integrate quiet time instead, and what to do when your toddler doesn't feel comfortable enough to fall asleep alone.Jensine shares her magical wisdom with us as Heather shares about her own struggles with her twin toddler boys' no-nap transition and how Jensine's advice saved her family's sanity.Grab your toolkit and get ready to add in some new tools for fixing those pesky sleeping problems and getting your quiet time back.**And don't forget to sign up for the Transforming Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop where you'll learn some key strategies for addressing aggressive (or even just button-pushing) behavior in your toddler and transform the chaos into calm!**About Jensine: I'm a pediatric sleep consultant, postpartum doula and mom of 3. I'm passionate about helping families find sustainable sleep situations for everyone. I talk a lot about realistic expectations and how to handle ideal sleep strategies, but in real life.Check out Jensine's GoodNight Preschooler Course!Grab Jensine's free Schedule Guide!------------------------------------------------------Ready to get your toddler to listen in 2 seconds?Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children who listen in 2 seconds.Join the waitlist for the Transforming Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop!Sign up for the Public Tantrum Game Plan workshop!Grab the 3 Steps to Less Meltdowns GuideTake the Meltdown Mastery: The Listening and Skilled Toddler Mini-CourseJoin the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @twinmom_roadmapWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog

17 Apr 202441min

Traveling with Toddlers and Tantrum-Free Trips

Traveling with Toddlers and Tantrum-Free Trips

Does the thought of traveling with your toddler stress you out so much that you're happy to wait until they're older to take a vacation?Mama, it's time to take that trip now!In this episode, Heather's sharing some great tips for how to travel with a toddler (or multiple!) without the meltdowns, anxiety, stress, or discomfort. From discovering the best sleeping arrangements for your toddler to creating an effective social story and making a plan for handling your tired, cranky tot, you'll feel much more prepared and ready to take on any trip after listening to this episode!Grab your toolkit and make room for another helpful tool!Don't forget to sign up for the Transforming Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop where you'll learn some key strategies for addressing aggressive (or even just button-pushing) behavior in your toddler and transform the chaos into calm.------------------------------------------------------Ready to get your toddler to listen in 2 seconds?Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children who listen in 2 seconds.Join the waitlist for the Transforming Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop!Sign up for the Public Tantrum Game Plan workshop!Grab the 3 Steps to Less Meltdowns GuideTake the Meltdown Mastery: The Listening and Skilled Toddler Mini-CourseJoin the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @twinmom_roadmapWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog

10 Apr 202436min

My Toddler Pushes ALL MY BUTTONS

My Toddler Pushes ALL MY BUTTONS

Is your toddler an expert at pushing all your buttons just right and knowing how to get on your very last nerve?Some toddlers just seem to have that mean streak down. They don't want to listen and it seems like telling them "no" just adds fuel to the fire. What's a frustrated, exhausted parent to do? Don't throw in the towel just yet!Listen in as Heather helps you navigate this tricky path of toddler defiance and even aggression! She's revealing the why behind the behavior and spilling her top secrets for how to handle it without having a meltdown yourself. Then, sign up for the Transforming Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop where you'll be given a roadmap to navigate through the maze of toddler defiance and aggression, and learn how to change the behavior in a way that works for your toddler's own unique personality, challenges, and strengths.There is still hope, toddler parent! Grab your toolbox and let's get to work!------------------------------------------------------Ready to get your toddler to listen in 2 seconds?Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children who listen in 2 seconds.Join the waitlist for the Transforming Aggressive Toddler Behavior workshop!Sign up for the Public Tantrum Game Plan workshop!Grab the 3 Steps to Less Meltdowns GuideTake the Meltdown Mastery: The Listening and Skilled Toddler Mini-CourseJoin the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @twinmom_roadmapWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog

3 Apr 202418min

Your Tricky Toddler Questions Answered

Your Tricky Toddler Questions Answered

Welcome to our first Q&A lightning round!In this episode, Heather's answering some of the top questions every toddler parent wants answers to.Everything from how to safely navigate stairs with your toddler and ditching the mom guilt over independent play, to tips for incorporating imaginative play into every day activities and getting your toddler to leave the park without the meltdown, Heather's got the answers to some of your toughest toddler questions.And if you found these tips helpful, make sure to sign up for the next Public Tantrum Game Plan workshop today so you can be sure to get your questions answered and your concerns alleviated whether attending live or catching the replay!These ideas are a must for your toddler toolkit, so listen in and be ready to add some new tricks to your bag!------------------------------------------------------Ready to get your toddler to listen in 2 seconds?Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children who listen in 2 seconds.Sign up for the Public Tantrum Game Plan workshop!Grab the 3 Steps to Less Meltdowns GuideTake the Meltdown Mastery: The Listening and Skilled Toddler Mini-CourseJoin the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @twinmom_roadmapWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog

27 Mars 202427min

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