Episode 29: The Day My Hole Almost Killed Me

Episode 29: The Day My Hole Almost Killed Me

In this deeply personal and emotional episode of Brolapse, I open up about the traumatic medical emergency that changed my life: a colon perforation that happened just days before recording. I walk you through the harrowing series of events — from a seemingly normal shower before a shoot with Ashlll Bay, to the moment I felt something pop inside me, to the emergency surgery that followed.


I talk honestly about the physical and emotional aftermath — the unbearable pain, the Baker Act hold, waking up to a colostomy bag, and the crushing fear that I may never fist again. I share what it’s been like adjusting to life without the part of me that’s defined so much of my identity, how I’m learning to be “Ryan” without my hole, and how I’m trying to stay creative, positive, and connected to my fans in this forced downtime.


You’ll also hear about the memoir I just completed, why this podcast is more important than ever, how I’m navigating grief and identity, and the outpouring of support I’ve received — from GoFundMe donors to exes, friends, and even The Howard Stern Show and H3 Podcast, who both invited me back on to share my story.


💔 A must-listen if you’ve ever faced a life-changing moment and wondered: How the hell do I move forward from here?



Ways to Support & Stay Connected

💸 Donate: https://HungerFF.com/GoFundMe

📺 Full video: https://HungerFF.com

🎧 Listen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3uJBareUPFci58BJ0NtwtoIOKKuaaBIa

🎧 Spotify (Early video access!): https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse

🍏 Apple: https://apple.co/408WLLX

📻 Amazon & Audible: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/57bbf689-250a-4c96-8559-0a79805f18b6/hungerff-presents-brolapse


🕗 New video episodes every Friday at 8 PM

🎙️ Audio drops Fridays across all podcast platforms

🔥 Early video access for Spotify subscribers

📦 Best-of compilations now live on JustFor.fans/HungerFF


Avsnitt(81)

Episode 80:COVID to Confidence: PeteLDNFF on Growth, Grit & Letting Go

Episode 80:COVID to Confidence: PeteLDNFF on Growth, Grit & Letting Go

This week on Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with UK creator PeteLDNFF for a conversation that goes way deeper than you’d expect.What starts as a story about discovering fisting turns into something mu...

28 Mars 28min

Episode 79: Inside the Fist Council: Community, Safety & the Future of Fisting

Episode 79: Inside the Fist Council: Community, Safety & the Future of Fisting

This week on Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with Sofftpaw for a conversation that goes far beyond a typical guest interview.Sofftpaw is the founder of the Fist Council — a nationwide forum made up of ...

21 Mars 50min

Episode 78: Gaping Femboy Energy: Pup Davey on Fisting, Puppy Play, Gender Fluidity & Kink Culture

Episode 78: Gaping Femboy Energy: Pup Davey on Fisting, Puppy Play, Gender Fluidity & Kink Culture

In this episode of Brolapse, Ryan James (HungerFF) sits down with Belgian creator Pup Davey for one of the most wide-ranging and honest conversations the show has had yet.Davey opens up about discover...

14 Mars 38min

Episode 77: From Addiction Counselor to Fisting Top: Grayson Howell on Confidence, Kink, and Chicago’s Scene

Episode 77: From Addiction Counselor to Fisting Top: Grayson Howell on Confidence, Kink, and Chicago’s Scene

In Episode 77 of Brolapse, Ryan James (HungerFF) sits down with Chicago-based creator Grayson Howell to talk about the unexpected path that led him into content creation, kink culture, and the world o...

7 Mars 32min

Episode 76: Josh Mikael — Truth, Trauma, and Why Not Everyone Deserves Your Story

Episode 76: Josh Mikael — Truth, Trauma, and Why Not Everyone Deserves Your Story

In this raw and deeply personal episode of Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with one of his closest friends and former roommate, Josh Mikael, for a conversation that spans decades of history, hard truth...

28 Feb 1h 16min

Episode 75: From First Fist to Full Confidence: Ian Greene on Growth, Boundaries & Trusting Your Body

Episode 75: From First Fist to Full Confidence: Ian Greene on Growth, Boundaries & Trusting Your Body

This week on Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with Ian Greene for a long-overdue conversation that spans years of crossing paths, shared experiences, and personal evolution.Ian opens up about his fisting ...

21 Feb 18min

Episode 74: John Thomas — Fantasy, Responsibility, and the Reality Behind the Scene

Episode 74: John Thomas — Fantasy, Responsibility, and the Reality Behind the Scene

In Episode 74 of Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with ⁠John Thomas⁠ for a conversation that goes far beyond the surface of porn.John opens up about his fisting origin story, growing up with religion, gui...

14 Feb 47min

Episode 73: Wyld Ryder: Becoming the Pig You Are

Episode 73: Wyld Ryder: Becoming the Pig You Are

In this episode of Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with Chicago-based creator Wyld Ryder for a candid conversation about confidence, kink, and the slow burn of becoming fully yourself.Wyld opens up abo...

7 Feb 28min

Populärt inom Hälsa

somna-med-henrik
rss-bara-en-till-om-missbruk-medberoende-2
rss-jossan-nina
inga-beiga-morsor
alska-oss
rss-vuxna-pa-latsas
sexnoveller-deluxe
sova-med-dan-horning
angestpodden
not-fanny-anymore
johannes-hansen-podcast
rss-viktmedicinpodden
brottarbroder
rss-the-house-podcast-3
sa-in-i-sjalen
vinterpasset
rss-sjalsligt-avkladd
sag-det-bara
till-sangs
halsoveckan-by-tyngre