Dealing with Emotionally Immature People (and Parents) with Dr. Lindsay Gibson
Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins the podcast to share her groundbreaking work on emotional maturity. Forrest and Dr. Gibson explore how growing up with emotionally immature caregivers can affect our adult relationships, and what we can do to recover from these experiences, build healthier patterns, and disentangle from emotionally immature people. They start by discussing what emotional immaturity means, some of its key characteristics, and the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature parents. They then talk about how we can move away from “role-self” and develop a deeper connection with who we really are. You’ll learn practical tools for recognizing emotionally immature people, managing your relationships with them effectively, and establishing healthy boundaries. About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of a number of books including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People. Her most recent work is the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Guided Journal. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: What is emotional immaturity? 7:25: Affective realism and involuntary coping mechanisms 14:00: An example of a childhood with emotionally immature caregivers 18:50: The “role-self,” and how children respond to a parent’s lack of empathy 25:15: Receiving guidance from the authentic self 29:25: How the role-self affects relationships in adulthood 41:25: Healthier relationships by connecting with the authentic self 50:10: Letting go of healing fantasies in adult relationships 56:10: Guilt, emotional coercion, fear of loneliness, and finding optimal distance 1:02:55: How to identify with yourself as a secure base 1:06:20: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Visit airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BEING to receive up to $300 off air purifiers! When you use our code, you’ll also receive a free 3-year warranty on any unit, an $84 value Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
15 Apr 20241h 18min
How to Make the Most of Your 20s with Dr. Meg Jay
Twentysomethings are bombarded with misinformation, hype, and contradictory messages that pull them in many different directions. Dr. Meg Jay, a specialist on what she calls the “defining decade,” joins Forrest to explore how we can navigate this transformative and often anxiety-provoking time in our lives. They discuss the biggest misunderstandings about our 20s, balancing having fun with setting yourself up for the future, and common mental health issues. Topics include the pitfalls of self-diagnosis, creating a strong self-concept and building identity capital, dealing with burnout, strengthening our relationships, and more. About our Guest: Dr. Meg Jay is a developmental clinical psychologist who specializes in twentysomethings. She is on faculty at the University of Virginia, and is the author of a number of wonderful books, including The Defining Decade and her new book The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: The biggest misunderstanding about life in your 20s 4:55: Uncertainty, and becoming confident in our abilities 8:30: Nihilism about the current state of the world 14:50: Self-diagnosis, social media, and over medication 23:25: The “strength of weak ties” 27:20: Self-concept and identity capital 30:30: What helps people take action 34:15: Navigating avoidance and anxiety 41:55: Finding evidence that you’re capable of being loved 46:35: What to do you when you feel stuck 49:20: How to choose purpose 58:55: Advice to people who feel like they messed up their 20s 1:04:45: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
8 Apr 20241h 16min
Managing the Freeze Response: Dissociation, Emotional Shutdown, and Creating Safety
What do dissociation, avoidance, and emotional shutdown all have in common? They’re connected to the “freeze” response to stress. In one of our favorite episodes to date, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the freeze response in detail. They talk about what stress responses are, how they impact our behavior, and why different people tend to default to different coping strategies. Forrest explains what freezing looks like in practice, and why the freeze response can be particularly difficult to navigate. Dr. Rick then shares a number of helpful strategies for working with the freeze response, including strengthening self-confidence, and the feeling of ourselves as someone who can create safety. Towards the end of the episode they discuss managing these tendencies in a relationship. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: Understanding stress responses 9:05: Stress responses in relationship 15:25: Why it's hard to see that you're freezing 19:05: Dissociation, and what freezing looks like in practice 23:55: Steps of moving through dissociation 30:05: Self-awareness, ‘global’ conditioning, and unconditional positive regard 38:10: How Rick would work with someone who freezes: a hypothetical case study 53:45: Seeing yourself as a source of safety 1:02:55: Recap Offer from Dr. Rick: If you'd like to improve your self-worth, check out Rick's new 4-hour, live online workshop. You'll learn methods and practices that can actually change your brain and your habits, so you start nurturing your sense of worth and belonging. Our listeners can get 20% off with coupon code BeingWell20: https://selfworthworkshop.com/ Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1 Apr 20241h 13min
Working with Irrational Fears, Setting Healthy Boundaries, and Understanding Therapy: March Mailbag
Forrest and Dr. Rick open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners focused on how we can work with irrational fears, create separation from our thoughts and feelings, and set healthy boundaries in dysfunctional families. Rick then goes off on the topic of “evidence-based” vs. “not evidence-based” approaches to therapy, leading to an interesting conversation about research, statistical significance, and what makes for good therapy. We think you’ll enjoy this one, thanks for listening! You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:25: How can I respond to fears I know are irrational? 11:05: How can I disidentify from my thoughts? 21:35: How do I set healthy boundaries in a dysfunctional family system? 39:25: Are “not evidence-based” therapeutic approaches such as IFS or somatic therapy inferior to “evidence-based” approaches like CBT? 55:20: My relationship is full of conflict, and I’m considering divorce. How should I think this through? 1:05:10: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Soonsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
25 Mars 20241h 15min
10 Things We Wish We Knew in Our 20s
Our 20s are a unique decade filled with opportunity…including the opportunity to make a lot of mistakes. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest share (roughly) 10 things they wish they’d known back then. They explore the balance of enjoying freedom with the compounding value of effort, a framework for finding meaning and purpose, and some of the common pitfalls that keep us stuck. Regardless of where you are in life, you’ll learn how to find and embrace your natural talents, appreciate meaningful relationships, and see things in a new light. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: The importance of the choices you make in your 20s 4:45: Balance the freedom of youth with the value of action 8:00: Embrace mentorship 13:40: Find the Three Circles: Talent, Enjoyment, and Values 21:30: Try things, and let yourself change 24:20: Avoid getting stuck (and codependent relationships) 27:35: Identify useful feedback 31:00: Avoid swerving away from natural talents, kindred spirits, good advice, and failure 36:05: The intrinsic value of creating, and lightening up about results 38:25: Focus on where you have agency 44:45: Appreciate relationships based on shared values 46:55: You get to decide what your relationships look like 47:50: Showing appreciation for your younger self 49:50: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
18 Mars 202455min
Repairing Self-Abandonment: Anxious Attachment, Healthy Boundaries, and Creating Strong Relationships
On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore self-abandonment, which occurs when we go against our authentic wants, emotions, and boundaries in order to serve others, meet external expectations, or protect ourselves emotionally. They cover where self-abandonment comes from, the psychological function it serves, and the relationship between self-abandonment and similar concepts like anxious attachment, low self-worth, and external referencing. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, stop neglecting yourself, and become more secure from the inside out. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Common features of self-abandonment 12:30: Facing the fear of our authentic self being seen 16:05: Facing shame and self-criticism 21:00: Self-referencing vs. referencing ourselves in relation to others 33:10: The belief that safety feels more critical than authenticity 40:55: Our relationship to nature, and joining with the defense 50:55: Relationships, openness to change, and bringing parts into awareness 55:20: Cognitive restructuring, and redefining our self-abandoning beliefs 58:50: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
11 Mars 20241h 6min
Emotional Eating and Changing Your Relationship with Food with Dr. Jud Brewer
There are as many ways to have a difficult relationship with food as there are ways to eat. It’s hard to get conversations about these challenges right, but today we’re taking the plunge and exploring the habit of eating when we’re not hungry with psychiatrist Dr. Jud Brewer. Dr. Rick, Forrest, and Dr. Jud start by discussing our often flawed approach to conversations about eating patterns, shame spirals, and the many problems with diets. They then move the conversation from what we eat to how we eat, applying Dr. Jud’s work on habits and craving to the challenge of emotional eating. Specific topics include the neuroscience behind how our hunger cues and emotional cues get mixed up, common habit loops related to food, reward value and the importance of creating a prediction error, the nature of craving as wanting without liking, mindfulness-based tools, and how we can create a bigger, better offer for our brains. About our Guest: Dr. Jud Brewer is a psychiatrist, the director of research and innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, a professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences at the School of Public Health and Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, and a research affiliate at MIT. He’s also the bestselling author of a number of books, including The Craving Mind, Unwinding Anxiety, and his most recent book The Hunger Habit. Disclaimer: If you struggle with a serious restrictive eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia nervosa, the material in this conversation will not support your needs. Please consider working with your doctor or mental health clinician, or using the free resources at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. If you need immediate help, call the ANAD hotline at 1-888-375-7767. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and disclaimer 2:40: The surprising finding from Jud’s smoking cessation program 6:05: What Jud’s new book is not about, and information vs. behavior 11:05: The mental health impact of dieting, and the problem with willpower 18:05: Hedonic hunger, and food-mood wiring 24:15: Bringing awareness to how we eat, and our cultural conditioning 31:50: Developing freedom of choice, and the MBSR raisin exercise 36:20: A walkthrough of mindful eating 44:25: When you don't want to let go of a behavior, and finding the bigger better offer 52:50: Kindness, curiosity, and other tools for improving interoception 57:00: Ways to find the bigger better offer 1:07:45: Caring for our future self 1:11:30: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get your stand on with UPLIFT Desk! Go to UPLIFT Desk.com/BEINGWELL for 5% off your order of one of their fantastic standing desks or office products. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Start each day right with IQBAR’s bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
4 Mars 20241h 21min
Somatic Tools for Self-Regulation with Elizabeth Ferreira
One of the most important skills we can learn is how to regulate ourselves, riding the emotional waves without either ignoring or being overwhelmed by them. Associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins Forrest to explore how we can feel our feelings while staying calm, collected, and in control. They walk through two examples of under- and over-regulation, and Elizabeth offers specific practices that might help in each common situation. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: Creating safety and connection with a new client 6:30: Therapy as an opportunity for reparative experiences 9:45: Learning to regulate when you have traumatized parts 16:55: What’s helped Elizabeth heal patterns of overregulation and dissociation 23:50: A hypothetical dialogue with an overregulated client 29:10: Titration and traumatic release 33:05: Labeling and accepting emotions, and empowering the “wise adult” 40:15: A hypothetical dialogue with an underregulated client 46:30: Celebrating when we notice our patterns 49:30: Movement, tapping, tremoring, journaling, and other practices 53:55: Finding a supportive community 57:10: Being with your body, and following your curiosity 58:55: Recap Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Start each day right with IQBAR’s brain-and-body-boosting bars, hydration mixes, and mushroom coffees. Just text BEINGWELL to sixty-four thousand (64-000) and get an exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
26 Feb 20241h 4min
