Linking: The Secret to Rewiring Painful Memories

Dr. Stephen Porges, the creator of the polyvagal theory, joins the podcast to walk us through how its lessons can be applied to recovering from traumatic experiences. Forrest and Dr. Porges simplify the polyvagal theory, discuss the three key states our body can rest in, and explore how we can use polyvagal practices to heal old wounds and feel safer.  About our Guest: Dr. Stephen Porges is a Distinguished University Scientist at Indiana University, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina, and Professor Emeritus at both the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Maryland. He’s published more than 300 peer-reviewed papers and is the author of a number of books, including his recently released Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: A brief overview of Polyvagal Theory (PVT) 5:20: Ventral, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal states 12:05: Relating PVT to trauma, and processing cognitively vs. in the body 19:30: Creating enough safety and co-regulation for healing work 23:30: What helps people gain awareness, safety, and regulation 27:15: Contextualizing a freeze response both psychologically and medically 30:45: Distinguishing feeling safe vs. being safe 34:10: Where to start when you don’t have a secure base in another person 37:20: How our physiology has evolved to detect psychosocial cues 39:20: How healing practices change our perception of the world 41:35: The calming effect of slow exhalation and top-down visualization 43:05: Other tools to calm the nervous system, and the need for social nourishment 47:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Nov 202355min

We all know that change is inevitable in life, and getting good at changing is one of the most important skills we can develop. It’s also one of the most difficult to master. On today’s episode writer and coach Brad Stulberg joins Forrest to explore how we can reshape who we are, navigate and embrace change, and become more resilient.   About our Guest: Brad focuses his work on the philosophical and psychological foundations of excellence, and the habits and practices necessary to attain it. He’s a regular contributor at The New York Times and the author of a number of wonderful books including The Practice of Groundedness and his most recent book Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: How Brad has come to think about change 3:30: Rethinking homeostasis and allostasis 6:55: Suffering, resistance, and rugged flexibility 13:00: Creating a more flexible identity 20:30: Not going ‘all in all the time’ 24:30: Constraints that support a healthy amount of ego 28:20: Brad’s personal challenges and supports in finding insight 34:00: Waiting to find meaning until after moving through a difficult change 39:15: Our perception of time slows during distress 41:25: Pounding a stone, and sticking with a process 45:55: Developing and retaining a sense of self-efficacy 49:20: Expecting discomfort 51:10: Turning hobbies into work, nurturing curiosity, and being a beginner 55:05: Values and perspectives 1:00:00: Shaking the snow globe, then letting it settle 1:03:10: Five questions from Brad’s book to ask yourselves 1:04:15: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Start speaking a new language in just 3 weeks with Babbel! Get 55% off at Babbel.com/BEING. Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.  Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Okt 20231h 14min

On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on one of the most important decisions we’ll make in life: the choice to become a parent. They focus on what good parenting looks like in practice, the key difference in thinking of a child as a “means” or an “end,” and how to know whether becoming a parent is the right path for you.  Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:20: The significance (and uniqueness) of this choice 4:50: Being aware of your motivations for having a child 16:55: The influence of primal biology 20:50: Qualities of a good parent 30:30: Mirroring, idealizing, twinship, and the process of differentiation 36:35: Optimal frustration, and a healthy parental work ethic 41:25: The rewards of being a parent 46:45: If you don’t like __ you shouldn’t become a parent 48:50: A word for current parents who wish things had been different  53:00: Community, partnership, and resources 55:10: Meaning and fulfillment with or without a child 1:00:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.  Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Okt 20231h 10min

In today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how we can improve our self-confidence, allowing us to become more psychologically flexible and create healthy boundaries with other people. They explain why becoming better at something doesn’t always make us more confident, the two paths of gaining confidence and releasing insecurity, and how we can release insecurity over time. They then talk about the differences between confidence and narcissism, dealing with other people when they try to put us down, and how we can develop an authentic sense of self-worth. Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: Separating confidence and capability 8:10: Releasing insecurity vs. gaining confidence 13:25: Sources of insecurity, celebrating others’ vision, and tapping into universal currents 20:30: Redefining what a win looks like, and surrendering to the best in ourselves 26:30: Finding people who believe in you, taking action, and not knowing 31:20: Our core beliefs, why they are rational, and how to update them 34:35: Self-worth, and confidence in your own innate goodness 38:55: The difference between self-confidence and narcissism 44:00: Facing the fear of what will happen if you are confident 52:00: When being poorly received is about others and not you 54:45: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.  Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Okt 202359min

How we view ourselves, other people, and the world around us has a huge impact on the emotions we feel, the choices we make, and the quality of the lives we lead. These are our perspectives, and they’re the foundation our lives are built on…which is why changing them is so freakin’ hard.  In this episode, Forrest and Rick explore what perspectives are, what a healthy perspective looks like in practice, and how we can deliberately shift our perspectives over time. Specific topics include unpacking where perspectives come from, getting better at identifying when a perspective starts to affect our behavior, and thinking of ourselves as “rivers” rather than “rocks.” By the end of this episode, you’ll learn the key skills you need to change the views that have been holding you back.  Neurodharma Course! Join Dr. Rick for Neurodharma, a live, online course focused on developing seven key qualities that help us steady the mind, warm the heart, and find a reliable sense of inner peace. Neurodharma launches October 14, use code BeingWell20 for 20% off the purchase price.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and info on Rick’s Neurodharma course 2:10: Aspects of the kind of perspective we’re talking about 5:50: Change, being grounded in reality, and self-compassion 12:40: Fixed perspectives, fear, and a few examples from Rick 19:40: Shame, and conflict with others due to changes in behavior 22:35: Lack of self-confidence leading to rigidity 25:50: De-centering, joy, viewing yourself as a river, and playfulness 31:45: Roleplay, and asking ‘what if?’ 35:25: Inquiring into how our perspectives are constructed 44:35: Emotional imagination, and retelling your story 47:10: How our values and aspirations drive our perspective 51:50: Asking which perspectives support what’s important to you 54:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.  Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Okt 20231h 2min

“The mistake most of us make is building our homes in other people. When we do that, we give them the power to make us homeless.” Poet, activist, and author Najwa Zebian joins Forrest for a conversation focused on discovering what truly matters to us. They use Najwa’s personal story as a way to explore how we can break out of the roles others place us in, create healthy boundaries, and feel worthy from the inside-out. Topics include balancing intimacy and autonomy, self-compassion and self-love, and finding the courage to act authentically. About Our Guest: Najwa Zebian is an activist, poet, educator, and the author of six books including her recent works Welcome Home, Conversations on Letting Go, and The Only Constant, which will be coming out March 2024. She was raised in Lebanon and moved to Canada at 16 where she later earned her Doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of Western Ontario. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:05: Najwa’s personal background 6:10: Humility, asking for the things you need, and comparing your pain to others 11:15: Loving your current self into becoming your authentic self 17:10: Navigating change in the face of social pressure 20:45: Intrinsic self-worth, and the beauty of being undefined 32:00: Intimacy and autonomy 40:05: Choosing vulnerability, and paying attention to surrounding influences 50:45: Healthy shared expectations in relationships 53:45: Forgiving others as a gift we give to ourselves 58:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.  Body Electric is an interactive six-part podcast series from NPR that investigates how our relationship with technology is impacting our health. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Okt 20231h 5min

We’re often told to “be true to ourselves:” to line-up the person we are on the outside with the person we are on the inside. In a word, to be authentic. But what does it really mean to “be who we are,” “get in touch with ourselves,” or to go full new-age “live in alignment with our higher purpose?” In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what authenticity is, where it comes from, and whether it’s actually a good thing to be more authentic. They talk about what we really mean when we use the word “authenticity,” the fragmented nature of the self, and problems with unregulated self expression. They then turn towards how we can include all of ourselves, act from our values, and become at peace with who we are.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:35: How Rick thinks about authenticity 6:10: Congruence, presentation, and the difference between honest and good 13:45: A personal example of authenticity from Rick and Forrest 17:00: Self-disclosure as a factor of intimacy 19:45: What parts of ourselves are we being authentic to? 23:15: Vulnerability and aspiration 28:10: Carl Rogers’ idea of the perceived self and the ideal self 33:20: Is self-improvement authentic? 36:30: Unconditional positive regard, and embodiment 40:10: Naming what you’re feeling, the vastness of the psyche, and self-honesty 46:25: Having a secure environment for aspirational change 48:45: Individualism, social roles, and intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation 53:05: Archetypes, the shadow, and integration 59:20: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.  The Turning Points podcast is BACK with a new season. Check out season 3 of Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Sep 20231h 10min

Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners focused on getting the most we can out of therapy, processing old painful experiences, and sabotaging ourselves. They explore the self-fulfilling nature of fear, different forms of therapy and who they can benefit, and how to approach dealing with your mind in general.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:25: My relationship anxiety is sabotaging my relationship! 7:40: Getting more out of therapy 14:00: Should people with CPTSD do cognitive therapy? 19:45: What other kinds of modalities might be beneficial? 23:05: Rick’s “gardening theory of therapy” 29:10: When and how is it appropriate to talk with your adult children about your abusive childhood? 33:30: How can a therapist draw healthy boundaries with their friends? 39:15: How would you advise a person in their mid 20s just diagnosed with ADHD? 46:25: Forrest’s partner’s experience with ADHD medication 48:50: Reframing our understanding of a psychiatric diagnosis 52:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Factor delivers fresh, never-frozen, fully prepared meals right to your door. Head to factormeals.com/beingwell50 and use code beingwell50 to get 50% off.  Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Finally get that project off the ground with Squarespace! Head to squarespace.com/beingwell for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch use coupon code BEINGWELL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Sep 202358min