EP17 - Why do we fear death?

Why do we fear death? If you look at it rationally, apart from the mode of death, once you are dead you have nothing to worry about. In fact, many existentialists would say that the moment before death is the most peaceful because it is the moment when all of your worries and all of your earthly problems disappear because they become irrelevant. But that’s cold comfort for a lot of us. Deep down we have this subconscious desire for survival. Death is feared more than anything else, but why? If you feel no pain in death, then what is there to fear? The fee comes in the fear of missing out. A child may be stressed about a friend’s birthday party, wondering whether they will get invited. They don’t want to miss out on the fun. As adults, we have the same inclination; we want to be invited to the special events. But if you don’t attend the event, you don’t have any experience to miss. In reality, you didn’t experience anything, and you didn’t therefore miss anything. But this is the point. You have missed out on what could have been. In our minds, we build romantic attachment to possibilities. I think ultimately people don’t want to die because there are so many other things they want to achieve in their lives. I want to live a happy retirement. I want to see my grandchildren grow up. I want to see the fruits of my labour. But going back to the party that you missed out on. It may be that on the way to the party, you got wiped out in a car accident. Maybe the party was just plain boring and you wasted your time. Or it could lead to an argument with your friend. As it is in life. We are not to know whether the future experiences will be wonderful or not, we just want to have the experience is good or bad. But what’s the use of hanging onto life if it is just an unsatisfactory life. Do we mainly live life hoping the future will be better? The Stoics spend a lot of time thinking about death. They call the meditations on death. This is not to make life unimportant and useless. It is precisely the opposite. Meditations on death are about confronting the fact that I will die, and before making the most of every single moment of my life. I will die, I will wipe my memory, I will have no problems, I will be no peace and no agony. That makes the experience of conscious awareness of being alive all the more remarkable and precious. This very moment. This very moment as I sit in a carpark waiting for a parking spot. I can choose to look at the gloomy grey foggy, drizzly sky and either appreciate it for what it is, or even think of the sun behind it which will surely soon break free. This very moment is the only one I have.

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