53: Where Are We Now? De-escalation One Year Later

When there's been dishonesty, a betrayal or cheating in a relationship, it can result in a loss of trust that's hard to recover from. This episode is part 2 of a two part-series on Building, Rebuilding, and Maintaining Trusts in Relationships. In Part 1, we explored: What trust really is and why it’s essential How to build a strong foundation of trust Common trust challenges And how to nurture and maintain trust. In Part 2, we pick up where we left off with a recap on what trust is and how trust can be lost specifically in non-monogamous relationships. We then share specific strategies on how you can rebuild trust as a result of any of these things or other setbacks such as: Understanding the reasons behind the breach Releasing anger and resentment Rebuilding trust with consistent actions and words Demonstrating commitment to repair the relationship Communication  And getting support  We also share how you might recognize if is an isolated situation or if this person is not trustworthy and it isn’t in your best interest to trust them again. This episode is perfect for anyone navigating trust challenges and looking for practical, compassionate advice to create more secure, resilient relationships. And, in celebration of Polyamory Day on November 23 our gift to you is that you can get our Poly Newbies Digital Course for just $27—a 90% savings off the regular $297 price until Cyber Monday. Learn more at ⁠⁠https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesblackfriday⁠⁠⁠ Show Resources: Black Friday Poly Newbies Digital Course Offer at $27 for 6 months of access - ⁠⁠https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesblackfriday⁠⁠ Stream episode 32 Building, Rebuilding and Maintaining Trust in Relationship - Part 1 on Spotify ⁠hhttps://open.spotify.com/episode/77sWeDAKTKK2jAbTcZzOiQ?si=XhbvoPvQTpaGXdzycP0GJA⁠ or on your favourite podcasting platform. Looking for therapy? Reach out to host André Turcotte and book a consultation call at ⁠andreturcottepsych@gmail.com⁠   Looking for private individual or couple’s coaching? Book a consultation call with host Tara at: ⁠⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠⁠  Join our online free Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠⁠  Find out more about us and services, programs and more at ⁠⁠⁠https://taraandandre.com/ ⁠

26 Nov 202455min

You may not find it surprising but we talk about non-monogamy, relationships, sex and related topics A LOT, especially when we are driving or travelling. We were having one such conversation recently and decided to record it as we felt our listeners would find it helpful to hear as we work through and discuss a situation that arose for us personally around possible STI exposure and how we might handle sharing how we feel about upcoming plans with friends. In this episode we cover: The importance of regular testing and how often we get tested. What you need to test for. How you can contract certain STIs and how to reduce your risk. The science behind testing frequency and the incubation periods for some common STIs The concept of acceptable risk as it relates to sexual activities. How to incorporate sexual health and STI testing into your relationship agreements. How to share your personal boundaries around testing and agreements with possible partners. We encourage you to do your own research, inform yourself, talk to your doctor, talk to your partners and figure out what’s right for you! And as we asked during the podcast are these things you’ve considered and/or has this podcast changed what you think about wanting to be non-monogamous or in the lifestyle? Let us know in the comments! Show Resources: Black Friday Poly Newbies Digital Course Offer at $27 for 6 months of access - ⁠https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesblackfriday⁠ Health Line article on STI incubation periods - https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-does-it-take-for-std-to-show-up  Understanding Risk By Sex Act - CATIE - https://www.catie.ca/safer-sex-guide/understanding-risk-by-sex-act  T&A Instagram - ⁠https://www.instagram.com/taraandandre/⁠  Looking for therapy? Reach out to host André Turcotte and book a consultation call at andreturcottepsych@gmail .com  Struggling and need support? Reach out and book a free call with us: ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue⁠  Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly⁠  Find out more about us and services, programs and more at ⁠⁠https://taraandandre.com/

19 Nov 202457min

Talking to kids about topics like non-monogamy, sex, intimacy, kink and relationships can sometimes  feel daunting parents. It's easy to worry about saying the wrong thing, making things awkward, or just plain messing it up.  In this episode, we sit down with sexuality educator Ms. Ashley Robertson for a deep dive into guiding these conversations with kids of all ages—from toddlers to teens and beyond! Together, we share practical tips, advice, and recommended approaches for discussing these topics at every stage. We cover what the focus should be, how to approach these subjects, which words to use, and even how long these conversations should go. We also discuss what not to say, how to avoid oversharing, and ways to build a “scaffold” of knowledge that helps your kids climb layer by layer without falling off. We touch on essentials like when and how to introduce non-monogamy and partners to kids, what to say if a partner is no longer in your life, and how to manage those moments when kids bring up people from your past that you’d rather forget. And we explore concepts like “chosen family,” the “onion” and “buffet” analogies, being an “askable adult,” consent and how kids are “bystanders”, the “skipping stones” strategy for teens and more! Plus, we answer questions from our Let’s Talk Polyamory community.  And… spoiler alert ...a lot of these tips are great for adult conversations, too! Tune in for practical advice, a few laughs, and all the insights you need to make these talks a little less intimidating and a lot more meaningful! You’re going to love it! Resources: Black Friday Poly Newbies Digital Course Offer at $27 for 6 months of access - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesblackfriday Website Ms. Ashley Robertson: https://www.msashleyrobertson.com/ Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/msashleyrobertson  Ms. Ashely's booklist - https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WaZGbek31WYEbHcdPB3NJd4CKj5dIUhmjmmOL3zheAM/edit?usp=sharing - The 2 books mentioned in our conversation: Penny and the Plain Piece of Paper by Miri Leshem-Pell and Can I Give You a Squish? by Emily Neilson DSM -  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. We specifically referred to the DSM-5 - This is an article that might be helpful - https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/fetishes-and-dsm-v-when-is-kink-mental-health-issue-0829138  T&A Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/taraandandre/  Looking for therapy? Reach out to host André Turcotte and book a consultation call at andreturcottepsych@gmail.com  Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly  Find out more about us and services, programs and more at ⁠https://taraandandre.com/ ⁠

12 Nov 20241h 16min

In this two-part series we take a deep dive into one of the most essential—and sometimes challenging—aspects of relationships: TRUST!   Recently many our the Let's Talk Polyamory private Facebook group and in our individual coaching and therapy practices have raised TRUST as an issue they are currently facing in their relationships.  For some it is because of a specific situation that occurred, like a betrayal, while for others, the issue of trust goes a bit deeper and stems from past experiences in relationships with previous partners, friends or family. In this special series we explore the ins and outs of building, maintaining, and restoring trust, whether in monogamous or non-monogamous relationships. In Part 1 we cover: What is TRUST? How people approach trust in relationships. Signs of trust issues and what might be behind this for you. How to build a foundation for trust in your relationships from the start. How trust might be broken in relationships with some specific examples related to unique dynamics of non-monogamous relationships. In Part 2, we will tackle the tough topic of rebuilding trust after it’s been lost.  Whether you’re looking to set up a rock-solid foundation or need tools to heal from trust setbacks in your relationship or yourself, this series has you covered.  This is the perfect starting point  for anyone navigating trust challenges and looking for practical, compassionate advice to create more secure, resilient relationships. Comment with your stories of trust or loss of trust and if this episode resonated with you! Please 💖comment, ✅subscribe, ➡️share and 📝write a review so others can find us! We really appreciate it! Show Resources: Poly Newbies Digital Course - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer  Struggling and need support? Reach out and book a free call with us: https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue  Let’s Talk Polyamory Private Facebook Group & Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly  Find out more about us and services, programs and more at ⁠https://taraandandre.com/ ⁠ Episode 27: From DADT To All the Juicy Details - https://open.spotify.com/episode/4nrCqhyEG4kWwUNyJoIKg0?si=8Q77o-L3Q7WvdSK6-qf33Q Episode 8: How is My Attachment Style Impacting My Relationships - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3KUuTKZQKRNHBISBeynIvq?si=olltBVI7S6in5XPIwzMUAQ Episode 3: Combating Jealousy and NRE with Awesome Communication - https://open.spotify.com/episode/4cRoyUXHdgpWMWlgAb3q8w?si=q3TPfFpOSzehJrCPx3BYxA

28 Okt 20241h 1min

Sex... we love it, we want it, and, for many, it is part of our "why" behind being consensually non-monogamous in the first place.   Having said that, if we've been intimate, or in a relationship, with someone for a longer period of time, things can sometimes feel a little stale.  At the same time, the ⚡️New Relationship Energy (NRE) we may be experiencing with others we are in relationships with might feel exciting and super 🔥hot! In this episode we talk about the 69 Ways to Amplify Your Sex Life with Your Partners!  Ok.. so maybe not quite 69, but there are 5 main areas (with lots of sexy suggestions under each) which will support you increasing DESIRE in ALL your relationships: Scheduling sex Increasing sexual energy Communicating your desires Trying something new Kissing and other methods of connecting and intimacy As part of this cover topics like responsive desire, dirty talking, disentanglement, Sensate Focus and more! Join us at the 💋Toronto Taboo: Everyhing To Do With Sex Show - October 18-20, 2024. We are giving away passes - enter to win via the link below ⬇️ Show References: Toronto Taboo: All About Sex Show - Info on the show here - https://tabooshow.com/toronto - the free draw is now over! The numbers that André refers to is from an episode of Friends where Monica and Rachel share with Chandler the 7 pleasure zones - https://youtu.be/3NLVior-nLs?si=8O00KWgHzprasGAW  Dr. Liz Powell - Talk Dirty to Me - https://drlizpowell.com/talkdirty/  Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery Coaching Program - https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery  Poly Newbies Digital Course - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer  Struggling and need support? Reach out and book a free call with us: https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue  Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly  Find out more about us and services, programs and more at ⁠https://taraandandre.com/ ⁠

15 Okt 202449min

Welcome to Season 2 of the Let’s Talk Polyamory Podcast! We are kicking things off with a hotly debated topic: Can Mono-Poly Relationships Really Work?  What happens when one partner is monogamous while the other embraces polyamory? Are these relationships destined for failure, or can they actually thrive? Mono-Poly relationships come with unique challenges—navigating asymmetrical freedoms (where one partner has multiple emotional and/or sexual relationships and the other doesn’t), balancing time and attention, and dealing with jealousy and insecurity. In this episode, we break down these common struggles, discuss why people might choose this dynamic, and tackle some of the biggest misconceptions. We also share actionable strategies for making these relationships work—like mastering open communication, setting personal boundaries, and using our Values-Based Agreements™ model. Plus, we’ll dive into compersion, or finding joy in your partner’s happiness with others, and talk about the importance of seeking expert support. If you’ve ever wondered whether a Mono-Poly relationship can truly flourish, or if you’re in one and looking for ways to make it work—this episode is for you! Show References: Toronto Taboo Show - Enter to win a free pass - https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/taboo2024draw Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery Coaching Program - https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery  Poly Newbies Digital Course - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer  Struggling and need support? Reach out and book a free call with us: https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue  Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly  Find out more about us and services, programs and more at ⁠https://taraandandre.com/ ⁠

7 Okt 202443min

Thank you for an amazing first season of the Let’s Talk Polyamory Podcast!  We will be back with Season 2 and brand new episodes starting in late September 2024.  In Season 2 we are inviting some very special guests to join us to take a deeper dive into how you can successfully navigate consensual non-monogamy making it secure, adventurous and even more sexy! In the meantime you can catch up on this season’s episodes where we talked about: How open relationships work Jealousy How to avoid the mistakes we made when opening up Communication Sex parties 101 Boundaries Accidental Polyamory How to avoid polyamory risks and threats New Relationship Energy How to reignite the fire in long term relationships And More!  If you want a secure foundation for your open or polyamorous relationship so you can have a lifetime of pleasure and satisfaction, join us for our next cohort of Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery which begins in October. Sign up now and get access right away to all the training modules and content! It will give you extra time to get started before we jump into the live coaching calls in October! Learn More and sign up at: https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery Show references: Poly Newbies Digital Course - ⁠⁠https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer⁠⁠ Get our latest free worksheet - ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/gettheworksheet⁠ Find out more about us and services, programs and more at ⁠⁠https://taraandandre.com/⁠

19 Aug 20242min

It's said that in successful relationships, there's always a KITE and a STRING. Which are you? You may have heard of this metaphor which is often used to describe dynamics in monogamous couples, however in this episode: Kites & Strings: Relationship Roles and Dynamics in Non-Monogamy, we take a polyamory spin on it and talk about how it may apply to the world of non-monogamous relationships as well! We explore what it means to be a kite or a string, how these roles may shift when we interact with other kites and strings either in a dating or lifestyle/swinging situation, and the dynamics of pairing with different types of partners.  We also discuss how someone might yearn to step into a different role than they usually occupy—like someone with kids and family responsibilities who gets to feel the exhilarating freedom of being the kite when with another partner and how they might secretly want their other partner to offer them this opportunity as well! We give specific examples of how you can be a “switch” and bring excitement into your relationships and how this might offset resentments around always having to be one thing!  And it wouldn’t be a podcast without some playful fun and teasing about our own tendencies to be the kite and string in our relationship! Show References: Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery Coaching Program. We have a new cohort beginning in October 2024. Reach out and let us know if you want to be informed when we are ready to start! https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery  Poly Newbies Digital Course - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer - available now! Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly  Find out more about us and services, programs and more at ⁠https://taraandandre.com/ ⁠

12 Aug 202440min