How Asking One Hard Question Builds Deeper Trust, with Alain de Botton
The High Performance Podcast4 Juni 2025

How Asking One Hard Question Builds Deeper Trust, with Alain de Botton

This new Essential Habits series breaks down the key habits behind high performance, one episode at a time. This week’s habit is deceptively simple: asking better questions.


Philosopher Alain de Botton joins us to explore how a single, uncomfortable question, “How have I annoyed you?” can deepen trust, defuse tension, and create stronger connections in every part of life.


Whether it’s at home, at work, or with close friends, we often avoid the conversations that would help us grow. Alain shows us a different way, one built on emotional generosity, honest listening, and the courage to be vulnerable.


In this episode, we explore:


  • Why awkward questions build trust
  • How to listen without getting defensive
  • The science behind emotional connection
  • What high-performing teams can learn from philosophy
  • The hidden power of backstories and being 'truly heard'


Here is a list of studies referenced in the episode:


  1. The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness. Arthur Aron, Elaine Aron (1997)
  2. Understanding the conversation gap: Why employees aren’t talking, and what we can do about it (Braverly), referenced in How to Navigate Difficult Conversations with Employees. Harvard Negotiation Project
  3. Rejection Really Hurts, published in Science (Oct 2003). University Of California - Los Angeles
  4. Daring Greatly by Brené Brown


Listen to the full episode with Alain De Botton here: https://pod.fo/e/1f5db0


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Avsnitt(669)

Adam Peaty: Finding a way to win whilst conquering my demons (E75)

Adam Peaty: Finding a way to win whilst conquering my demons (E75)

Adam Peaty is the first British swimmer to retain their Olympic title after winning Team GB's first gold medal of Tokyo 2020 with victory in the men's 100m breaststroke.Adam now has the 16 quickest ti...

28 Juli 20211h 9min

E74 - Mel Marshall: The art and science of great coaching

E74 - Mel Marshall: The art and science of great coaching

Mel Marshall is the current Loughborough National Lead Coach where her swimmers include Olympic winning swimmer Adam Peaty.Mel has overseen Adam Peaty's rise to the top of the international swimming s...

26 Juli 20211h 17min

BITESIZE #26 | Tom Daley: Be Yourself

BITESIZE #26 | Tom Daley: Be Yourself

As part of our special Olympic series with Lotus Cars, we’re delving into the rich archive for lessons from Olympic legends! This week’s comes from Tom Daley, one of GB’s most recognised sportsmen. To...

23 Juli 20218min

Kate Richardson-Walsh: How we created an incredible team ethos (E73)

Kate Richardson-Walsh: How we created an incredible team ethos (E73)

Kate Richardson-Walsh is the most capped female hockey player in her country's history. Kate was captain of GB women’s hockey teams for 13 years and was one of the many key drivers of the incredible t...

21 Juli 20211h 6min

E72 - Sir Ian McGeechan: Doing the world class basics

E72 - Sir Ian McGeechan: Doing the world class basics

Sir Ian McGeechan is distinguished as one of Rugby’s most popular and well regarded figures, most notably for being a true legend of the world’s most famous touring team - the British & Irish Lions. H...

19 Juli 20211h 20min

BITESIZE #25 | Ben Ainslie: Focus on the failure with brutal honesty

BITESIZE #25 | Ben Ainslie: Focus on the failure with brutal honesty

As part of our special Olympic series with Lotus Cars, we’re delving into the rich archive for lessons from Olympic legends! This week’s comes from Ben Ainslie, the most successful Olympic sailor of a...

16 Juli 20218min

Ian Thorpe: How I became Australia's most successful Olympian (E71)

Ian Thorpe: How I became Australia's most successful Olympian (E71)

Ian Thorpe won five Olympic gold medals, the greatest total of any Australian. As his first Olympics approached, in Sydney, he had broken 10 world records - four of them in four days at the 1999 Pan P...

14 Juli 202158min

E70 - Mary Portas: Changing your thinking to change your results

E70 - Mary Portas: Changing your thinking to change your results

Mary Portas is an expert on retail and brand communication. Since 1997 she has been running Portas, a brand agency, producing challenging campaigns and championing brand development for clients. She i...

12 Juli 20211h 3min

Populärt inom Hälsa

somna-med-henrik
rss-bara-en-till-om-missbruk-medberoende-2
inga-beiga-morsor
alska-oss
rss-jossan-nina
sova-med-dan-horning
vinterpasset
brottarbroder
johannes-hansen-podcast
rss-sjalsligt-avkladd
sexnoveller-deluxe
not-fanny-anymore
angestpodden
rss-the-house-podcast-3
sa-in-i-sjalen
sag-det-bara
rss-viktmedicinpodden
rss-basta-livet
smartare-fitness-podden
tyngre-radio