S13 Ep. 9: His Needs Come First, Post-Menopause Male Loneliness, and How Important is Smell?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’m a woman who has no problem having an orgasm on her own, but it happens rarely with my partner. I’ve told him how I want to be stimulated, but sex always feels like something that’s done to satisfy his needs and mine are an afterthought. He knows I don’t orgasm through intercourse, but still asks me every single time if I have. When I say no, he begrudgingly gives me oral sex or uses his fingers, but it’s half-hearted because he’s had his orgasm. I’m feeling increasingly resentful. How do I tackle this?

2) My wife and I are in our late 60s, fit and healthy, and have been happily married for 40 years. Sex has always been a small part of our marriage, but it was adventurous and good. Since menopause, which she seemed to sail through, both sex and intimacy have disappeared. We talk about it now and then, but nothing happens. I don't necessarily want penetrative sex, I just miss holding her and showing her I love her rather than just saying it. I feel lonely.

3) I'm a straight woman in my 30s and recently met an amazing guy. I ended it because of his smell. He doesn’t smell bad, just like he has a different chemistry to me. My gut said not to go there. Am I right to pay attention to this? Is it something that you can work with or get past, and how?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

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