Attention Different with Stephen Tonti & Aaron Smith

Attention Different with Stephen Tonti & Aaron Smith

This week, I’m talking with Stephen Tonti and Aaron Smith, co-founders of the ADHD edutainment platform Attention Different. It’s a podcast and resource hub for ADHD adults looking for support, humor, and, most importantly, strategies that actually work.

I got to know Stephen and Aaron at the 2024 ADHD Conference in Anaheim. Stephen’s a filmmaker and longtime ADHD advocate who’s been trying to reframe ADHD as a difference, not a disorder. Aaron’s a licensed therapist and ADHD coach, helping clients bridge the gap between clinical understanding and real-world functionality.

In this episode, we dig into the messy middle of adulting with ADHD. We explore why the strategies that worked before suddenly stop working, the emotional aftermath of small mistakes, and why sometimes the best thing you can do is just… breathe.

I had a lot of fun with this one, it’s a grounded, funny, and deeply practical conversation about living with ADHD, without trying to fix it into something it’s not.

If you'd life to follow along on the show notes page you can find that at HackingYourADHD.com/226

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This Episode's Top Tips

1. You don’t need to finish all the dishes to feel like you’ve succeeded. Sometimes, doing just part of the task can be good enough, and good enough is a win.

2. We’re not always going to have high-capacity days, so work on shifting your mindset from “What can’t I do?” to “What can I do with the energy I have?” Reframing these thoughts can help manage low-capacity days with less shame.

3. In conflict, slow down. Shut up, breathe, listen, ask questions. This sequence can help de-escalate emotional tension, create space for connection, and avoid falling into defensiveness.

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Building Your Toolbox

Building Your Toolbox

ADHD can make it hard for us to work on our intentions. This is even harder when we forget the things that we want to do. When you are learning about new ADHD strategies while reading books or listening to podcasts (like this one!) it is really easy to forget your intention of implementing those strategies. In these instances when we learn about a new tool, what we can do is write down our intended strategy and put it into our ADHD Toolbox. Our toolbox is simply a way for us to record the strategies and ideas we have for working with our ADHD - a place we can go and look at our intentions when we are off track. While new strategies are fun to add to our toolbox, we should also focus on adding things that are already working in our life to our toolbox. If you've found a great bedtime routine? Stick it in your toolbox. Figured out a great way to plan your upcoming week? Stick it in your toolbox. Found a great tool for keeping you focused? Stick it in your toolbox. Just creating a toolbox for yourself isn't enough. We all know that we forget things. That we get off track. And sometimes when we are off track it takes us a while to realize what we are doing wrong. Use your toolbox to speed up the process of getting back in the groove of things. To do this you've got to set up regular times to check your toolbox. But we also know that sometimes even when we set aside time to check something we aren't always going to get to it, which means we've got to set up redundant reminders for ourselves to make sure we don't miss out on our most important intentions. This Episode’s Top Tips Set up a toolbox for yourself containing any tools or strategies you are currently using in your life Set up times to regularly read through your toolbox Create automated systems of redundant reminders so you don't forget about your toolbox For all the tools and other goodies mentioned in this episode go to the full show notes on our web page: HackingYourADHD.com/podcast/Toolbox

5 Okt 201912min

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