Ep 36 - When Spanking Is Core to Connection: Kai and Sarah on Building a Healthy Kink Relationship (Part 2)

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.In this episode, I sit down with my friend Aubrey Aust, a relational psychology and philosophy researcher from NYU, to unpack the psychology behind BDSM, fantasy, and desire. We talk about how kink can become a space for healing, a “relational laboratory” for exploring trust, safety, and selfhood.Aubrey and I go deep on Freud, daddy issues, jealousy, and why honesty about desire is non-negotiable. We explore how shame can block intimacy, what embodiment really feels like, and how the dynamics of dominance and submission mirror our earliest emotional patterns. Whether you’re a dom, sub, switch, or just curious about the psychology behind play, this conversation will have you thinking about kink in a whole new way.Episode Highlights: (00:00) Exploring Fantasy and Desire Through BDSM(02:45) Revisiting Freud and Modern Sexual Psychology(10:45) The Power of Honesty in Desire and Connection(15:00) Working With Kinky and Non-Kinky Partners(21:00) Embodiment, Boundaries, and Somatic Awareness(29:00) Can Kink Be Therapeutic?(34:00) Relational Energy and Co-Regulation Check out Lube Life's ultra slick, thick silicone lube!Connect with Aubrey Austhttps://www.instagram.com/aubrey__austConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

23 Okt 36min

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.Let’s talk about back door play, the kind of pleasure that deserves way more hype (and way less shame).In this episode, I sit down with Annette Benedetti, host of Talk Sex with Annette and certified sex and intimacy coach, to unpack everything you’ve ever wanted to know about exploring the back door. We get into how to prepare, what to expect, and how to make it fun, safe, and insanely pleasurable for everyone involved.Annette shares her real-life guide; from her favorite toys and plugs to lube tips, comfort positions, and how to talk about it without awkwardness. We also discuss why communication and consent are the ultimate turn-ons, how to handle nerves (and mess), and why curiosity should always come before shame.If you’ve ever been curious about trying backdoor play but weren’t sure where to start, this episode gives you all the confidence, info, and laughter you need to make it your new favorite adventure.Episode Highlights(00:00) The Myth of Virginity and the Power of Experience(12:00) Exploring the Backdoor: Tips, Prep, and Cleanliness(18:00) Backdoor Toys, Training Kits, and Plug Preferences(29:00) Safety Tips, Hygiene, and Aftercare(32:00) Understanding Partners, Boundaries, and Communication(38:00) Breaking Shame and Making Pleasure NormalConnect with Annette: https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/www.youtube.com/@talksexwithannettetalksexwithannette.com/shop-with-annetteConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

17 Okt 40min

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.In this episode, I sit down with Lee, founder of ConCations, the company behind Kinky Cruise and Kinky Caribbean, to talk about what really happens when the kink world hits the high seas. We get into how these cruises came to life, what makes them so different from your typical hotel takeovers, and why so many people leave feeling more connected than ever to themselves, their partners, and the community.Lee also opens up about his own 24/7 power exchange dynamic, what it’s like juggling kink, family, and polyamory, and why these events are about so much more than sex. They’re about finding your people, building real intimacy, and creating spaces where everyone belongs.If you’ve ever wanted to explore lifestyle travel or just love the idea of a vacation where consent, connection, and play come first, this episode will have you ready to pack your cuffs (and maybe your sunscreen).Episode Highlights(00:00) From Weekend Cons to Weeklong Connections(10:00) Bridging Swingers and Kinksters with Swinkation(20:00) High Protocol vs. Everyday Power Exchange(33:00) Beach Parties, Dungeons, and Sex-Positive Play(39:00) Connecting Before the Cruise Starts(41:00) Why This Is Perfect for BeginnersJoin the next Kinky Cruise! Head to https://www.ConCations.com and use the code TKC50 for fifty dollars off your booking!Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

10 Okt 44min

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.In this episode, I sit down with Shelby Devlin, Somatica-certified sex and relationship coach, BDSM educator, and author of The Pleasure Protocol, to talk about her journey from working at a San Francisco fetish boutique to becoming one of the most respected BDSM coaches in the field. We talk about Barbie bondage beginnings, the psychology of power, and why shame-free exploration is the gateway to pleasure that actually lasts.If you’ve ever wanted to understand how BDSM can become a path toward self-awareness, healing, and deeper connection, this conversation is for you.Episode Highlights: (00:00) Barbie Bondage and Early Curiosity(12:00) How Somatica Training Changed Everything(18:00) Combining Somatic Touch and BDSM Coaching(23:00) Healing Shame and Building Safety Through Play(38:00) Communication, Consent, and Aftercare 101Connect with Shelbyhttps://www.shelbydevlin.com/bioConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

8 Okt 41min

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/What happens when your relationship is built on trust, power exchange, and pushing limits together?In this episode, I sit down with Lucas and Hazel of Ripped Digital to talk about what it really takes to live and create on the more extreme side of BDSM. From navigating risk and safety in hardcore play to building a 24/7 power exchange dynamic, Lucas and Hazel share openly about their relationship, their porn production, and why empathy and trust are at the heart of everything they do.We dive into what it means to eroticize shame, how fantasies differ from reality, why safety tools like negotiation checklists and aftercare rituals matter, and how they’ve turned their personal kinks into a professional life that still feels authentic. If you’ve ever wanted to understand what happens behind the scenes of extreme kink content or how couples can thrive while exploring the edges of BDSM,  this is one you won’t want to miss.Episode Highlights: (00:00) Risk Awareness, Safety, and Harm Reduction(06:00) Negotiation, Trust, and First-Time Scenes(12:00) Eroticizing Shame and Exploring Taboo Fantasies(21:00) Aligning Public and Private Kink Identities(30:00) Sadism, Empathy, and Keeping Power in Check(41:00) Why Authentic Headspace Matters More than Scripted Porn(47:00) Cinematic Fantasies and Bucket List Scenes(53:00) Creating Content that Feels Real and ExperientialConnect with Hazel and Lucas ⁠https://ripped.digital/scenes/Home-Movies-Lucas-and-his-little_vids.html⁠Connect with Me: ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.⁠https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1⁠

3 Okt 53min

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Ever wondered what really goes down on a Temptation Cruise? Think clothing-optional pool decks, wild theme nights, and the kind of freedom you definitely don’t get on a regular vacation.In this episode, I sit down with Mario Cruz, the Cruise Director who knows all the secrets, to share why these couples-only trips keep selling out. From first-timers finding their confidence to hands-on BDSM workshops and sensual massage classes, Mario gives us a peek behind the curtain at what really makes Temptation Cruises unforgettable.If you’ve ever thought about lifestyle travel or just want to know why people call this “spring break for adults,” this is the episode that will have you ready to pack your bags.Episode Highlights: (00:00) What Happens Inside The Temptation Cruises(04:05) Exploring the Lifestyle on Board(06:56) Cruise Itineraries and Destinations(11:33) Educational Workshops and Activities(17:34) Booking Information and Upcoming CruisesJoin the Temptation Cruiseshttps://temptationcruises.com/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

24 Sep 23min

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/Back on The Kink Consultant, Larah Sky shares what really goes down when you’re running chastity challenges like Sexless September and Locktober. From easy-mode orgasm schedules to full denial, she breaks down why men keep signing up for chastity plans and what keeps them coming back for more. We also get into the chaos of OnlyFans rules, the viral TikToks that blew up her business, and why chastity has become one of the most talked-about kinks online.If you’ve been thinking about trying chastity, or just want to know what makes it so addictive, this episode gives you the inside scoop (and a good laugh along the way).Episode Highlights: (00:00) Sexless September and Chastity Challenges(09:29) Chastity and Sissy Play(15:49) Challenges with Content Platforms(19:56) Challenges and Strategies on OnlyFans(22:27) Content Restrictions(32:01) Chastity World and Future PlansConnect with Larah SkyType “Larah Sky is legendary on Google” or check out: https://www.larahsky.comhttps://www.larahsky.co.ukhttps://www.chastity.worldConnect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

17 Sep 35min

Get your kinky breakthrough in just 20 minutes. Book your call with The Kink Consultant here: https://www.amandadames.com/What makes something a kink, and what makes it a fetish? And can you find your life partner when you either? In this episode, I sit down in person with content creator and professional dom, Miz Darling to explore the deep, messy, and meaningful world of fetish. From spanking and feet, to nylons and cuckolding, we unpack what makes a fetish different from a kink, how these desires form, and how they show up in long-term love and relationships. We also talk about the book we’re co-writing, Complicated Pleasures, and why it was important to tell real stories of fetishists navigating relationships, intimacy, and identity.This episode isn’t just about what turns people on, it’s about how to stay connected when your desires don’t fit the script. Tune in to learn why fetish is really about power, communication, and finding romance in the most unexpected places.Episode Highlights:(0:00) Exploring Common Fetishes(12:29) Introducing the Book Project: Complicated Pleasures(14:19) The Stigma Around Fetishes(15:08) Exploring Relationship Dynamics(19:51) Personal Experiences with Fetishes(22:53) Embracing Your Sexuality(27:00) How to Get InvolvedSubmit Your Stories:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdD19PrOEehu7UqLmOo4iISRJe2M7L6VyD0FcTSn0s6A88p0A/viewformMore details about the book: https://complicatedpleasures.ca/Connect with Me: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

10 Sep 30min