The Kink Consultant23 Okt 2025

What Your Kinks Say About You (According to Psychology) with Aubrey Aust

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Episode 56 - In this episode, I sit down with my friend Aubrey Aust, a relational psychology and philosophy researcher from NYU, to unpack the psychology behind BDSM, fantasy, and desire. We talk about how kink can become a space for healing, a “relational laboratory” for exploring trust, safety, and selfhood.

Aubrey and I go deep on Freud, daddy issues, jealousy, and why honesty about desire is non-negotiable. We explore how shame can block intimacy, what embodiment really feels like, and how the dynamics of dominance and submission mirror our earliest emotional patterns. Whether you’re a dom, sub, switch, or just curious about the psychology behind play, this conversation will have you thinking about kink in a whole new way.

Episode Highlights:

(00:00) Exploring Fantasy and Desire Through BDSM

(02:45) Revisiting Freud and Modern Sexual Psychology

(10:45) The Power of Honesty in Desire and Connection

(15:00) Working With Kinky and Non-Kinky Partners

(21:00) Embodiment, Boundaries, and Somatic Awareness

(29:00) Can Kink Be Therapeutic?

(34:00) Relational Energy and Co-Regulation

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Connect with Aubrey Aust

https://www.instagram.com/aubrey__aust

Connect with Me:

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

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