792: Psychologist and New York Times Best-Selling Author on the Discipline of Letting Go

792: Psychologist and New York Times Best-Selling Author on the Discipline of Letting Go

In this reflective conversation, psychologist and author Dr. Bob Rosen examines the unspoken attachments that often shape executive behavior, frequently without conscious awareness. His framework, drawn from decades of work with leaders navigating volatility and pressure, identifies recurring psychological patterns that can impair decision-making, reduce well-being, and diminish long-term effectiveness.

Rosen outlines the dominant attachments that affect leadership behavior, each is rooted in fear, and each manifests in distinct and sometimes destructive ways. The discussion offers five key insights for senior professionals:

  1. Attachment to Success Can Drive Burnout, Not Fulfillment. When external validation becomes the metric for self-worth, leaders risk defining their identity by performance alone. As Rosen notes, “Who you are drives what you do, not what you do defines who you are.” The antidote, he argues, is cultivating an internal orientation of abundance, recognizing that self-worth is not conditional.
  2. Unexamined Attachments Are Often Reinforced by Organizational Systems. Rosen points out that performance-based compensation and cultural norms can unintentionally reward self-absorption or control-seeking behavior in leaders, thereby entrenching these attachments further. Shifting these dynamics requires institutional as well as personal change.
  3. Emotional Maturity Is Measured by the Capacity to Sit with Discomfort. Many attachments serve to mask fear—through overwork, consumerism, perfectionism, or self-isolation. Leaders must develop the capacity to experience discomfort without anesthetizing it through compulsive behavior, a discipline Rosen describes as essential to long-term growth.
  4. Aging Offers Strategic and Personal Opportunity, If Leaders Reframe It. Rosen challenges internalized ageism and presents aging as a stage of potential, not decline. He advocates for embracing imperfection, accepting physical limits, and consciously transitioning into roles of service, wisdom-sharing, and inner peace. “You choose,” he states, “to walk a path of regret or a path of gratitude.”
  5. Self-Awareness Is a Precondition for Organizational Leadership. Rosen recommends a structured four-part process for identifying and softening attachments: awareness and acceptance, diagnosis of the underlying fear, vision of an aspirational alternative, and aligned daily action. This framework, he notes, should be viewed not as a retreat from strategy, but as a foundation for sustaining it.

The episode ultimately frames leadership not as a mastery of tasks, but as a form of inner clarity that shapes every external result. For executives in fast-moving environments, this conversation provides a disciplined yet humane approach to personal development, grounded in realism, not rhetoric.

Learn more about Bob Rosen here: https://www.bobrosen.com/

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9: The Impossible Candidates Lessons

9: The Impossible Candidates Lessons

Here we talk about the unusual tactics we used to place a musician into BBM Europe who had just a master’s degree in music, from an elite institute and 4 years of experience in the Arts. Lacking a business background she decided to make the transition after her marriage. The tactics are not surprising, but the execution is.

4 Maj 201119min

8: Lessons in not placing a successful Wharton MBA

8: Lessons in not placing a successful Wharton MBA

Having a brilliant profile and credentials is good, but not great. In this podcast we discuss the hurdles which caused a brilliant Wharton MBA to stumble during their interviews. Much came down to the candidate simply not understanding the consulting culture and not acting on feedback. Moreover, McKinsey, especially BCG, look for reserved leaders versus over-confidence. That balance is crucial.

28 Apr 201119min

7: English-speaking offices

7: English-speaking offices

Aspiring consultants typically struggle at this selection and arrive at the wrong strategy. When you live in a country with just one BBM office, like most countries, how do you select a 2nd, 3rd or 4th choice? How many options do you realistically have and how do you size them up? Are the UAE and Singapore your only options? This podcast addresses these issues.

22 Apr 201114min

6: Advice on speaking like a consultant

6: Advice on speaking like a consultant

If you read forums worldwide everyone is obsessed with cracking the case. Yet, most people cannot communicate like a consultant. We hope by reading this post, candidates spend an equal, if not more, time focusing on their communication skills as well. If you cannot speak like a consultant, you cannot be a consultant.

16 Apr 201116min

5: Families and McKinsey

5: Families and McKinsey

No one will say this, but you should not be planning a family in the formative/early years of McKinsey or BCG. While firms go to great lengths to extol the virtues of their family friendly cultures, at the end of the day, the numbers say otherwise. It is very difficult to balance family demands and the pressures of a McKinsey engagement. It is best to select phases in your life, and early in you career, focus on career building. Related: - The Consulting offer 2: The Challenges of A Chinese female PhD Purusing Consulting - Quarterly Article: Why there are so few female management consulting partners

10 Apr 201116min

4: Anatomy of a McKinsey Networking Event

4: Anatomy of a McKinsey Networking Event

The most important piece of feedback for a McKinsey, BCG et al networking event is to do nothing. You actually want to draw as little attention to yourself as possible. Networking events are really formats where consulting firms market themselves. There are obviously exceptions, but rarely is this going to be a moment for you to market yourself. For one, there is too much happening around you and you will almost never get an opportunity to dazzle anyone. Related: The Consulting Offer season 2, Episode 1 Partner Networking and Resume Feedback Quarterly article: Networking with Management Consulting Partners

4 Apr 201120min

3: McKinsey and BCG Networking

3: McKinsey and BCG Networking

Unless you have a stellar resume and profile, you will likely need to do some form of networking to secure an interview. Most aspiring consultants cannot network and treat networking as a “tick-the-box” set of coffee chats and phone discussions. Related: The Consulting Offer season 1, Partner Networking Emails

29 Mars 201117min

2: Screening McKinsey Resumes

2: Screening McKinsey Resumes

This podcast introduces and discusses the steps firms like McKinsey use to screen and review resumes. Consulting firms and recruiters essentially look for five things: 1 Your school 2 Grades at school 3 Stature of employers 4 Achievements at work 5 Personal experience

23 Mars 201120min

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