202: The Only Plan You Need to Quit Pornography By the End of 2025

Jacob used to struggled daily with pornography and fantasy, but now he's completely free and feels good about himself again. In the episode, we talk about the two-part approach most men miss - they focus on only one part, which is why they struggle for so long. He shares the simple tools that helped him handle emotions in healthy ways, rebuild his self-worth, and deal with stress differently. The best part? Jacob doesn't fight urges for pornography anymore because he's done the deeper work to address the real causes. In this episode, he shows you exactly what worked for him and how you can do the same in your own life.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

20 Mars 33min

Feel like you're fighting an impossible battle - trying to overcome pornography while juggling an already overwhelming life? After thousands of therapy sessions, I've discovered something surprising: success doesn't always mean adding more to your plate. Think of someone running up a downward-moving escalator. They're putting in enormous effort, legs pumping furiously, yet barely staying in place. This is what traditional recovery can feel like - an endless list of must-dos: meetings, accountability partners, journaling, meditation, new habits, urge management techniques. While these tools can help, they often leave you feeling more exhausted than empowered. In today's episode, I'll share a completely different approach - one that works even when you're burned out and short on time. You'll learn how to get off that escalator and find a simpler, more effective path to lasting change. Sometimes doing less, but doing it smarter, creates better results than pushing harder against the downward flow.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

13 Mars 15min

When pornography appears in a relationship, it hurts both people deeply. For wives, the pain and betrayal can feel like being trapped in an endless storm - each bad day stretches out forever, making even good moments feel temporary. Husbands often feel stuck too, wondering if their efforts to change matter when they see their partner still hurting day after day. In today's episode, we'll talk about real ways to deal with those bad days that feel like they'll never end. You'll learn specific steps you can take when the pain feels overwhelming, what conversations actually help both partners heal, and what to expect as you work on fixing things together. There is hope and there are tools that work - even when it doesn't feel that way right now.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

6 Mars 19min

Not Being "Enough": Healing After Sexual Betrayal When a wife discovers her husband's porn use or infidelity, one thought cuts deeper than all others: "I wasn't enough." The pain of betrayal is devastating on its own, but believing it happened because of personal inadequacy makes healing feel impossible. This mistaken belief - that his actions prove something about her worth - becomes the biggest barrier to healing and repair. It's not just about what happened, it's also about what it means about her. Today, I'll share a story that could be almost any couple I've worked with as a therapist. You'll learn specific steps that have helped others move past this crushing belief (and others) and rebuild their connection. As a therapist who's helped hundreds of men through this struggle, I can tell you something important: Quitting porn isn't about willpower. Most men get stuck because they're taking the wrong approach - trying to force themselves to stop or just avoid triggers. Today, I'll share three key elements that actually work. No more guessing, no more endless cycles of trying and failing. Instead, you'll get a clear, practical plan that addresses the real reasons you're stuck.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

27 Feb 20min

Have you ever felt trapped in a cycle that seemed impossible to break? For Rob, porn became more than just a habit – it was an escape hatch from feelings of failure and not being good enough. Like many of us, he saw himself as a ticking time bomb, always counting down to the next slip. But this isn't a story about being stuck. It's about finding a way forward when you think there isn't one. Today, Rob shares how he transformed his life by facing the root cause of his struggles – not the behavior itself, but the deep-seated feelings of unworthiness beneath it. Through learning to be present with his family and developing new tools for handling difficult emotions, he didn't just survive – he rebuilt his marriage and discovered a strength he never knew he had. In this episode, you'll learn practical strategies for: Separating yourself from negative thought patterns Building genuine presence with loved ones Converting shame into motivation for change Rebuilding trust in relationships You'll learn specific steps you can take when the pain feels overwhelming, what conversations actually help both partners heal, and what to expect as you work on fixing things together. There is hope and there are tools that work - even when it doesn't feel that way right now.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

20 Feb 33min

When Pornography Breaks Your Marriage: First Steps to Healing Finding out about a porn addiction feels like your world has shattered. One moment everything seems fine, the next your marriage hits a brick wall. Trust breaks, security vanishes, and many wives feel completely lost, wondering if healing is even possible. If you're in this dark place right now - whether you just found out or you're taking those first shaky steps toward repair - this episode is for you. Today, I'll share specific actions you can take to start rebuilding your marriage. These aren't just theories - they're practical steps that have helped real couples find their way back to trust and security. As a therapist who's helped hundreds of men through this struggle, I can tell you something important: Quitting porn isn't about willpower. Most men get stuck because they're taking the wrong approach - trying to force themselves to stop or just avoid triggers. Today, I'll share three key elements that actually work. No more guessing, no more endless cycles of trying and failing. Instead, you'll get a clear, practical plan that addresses the real reasons you're stuck.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

13 Feb 20min

Breaking the "Try Harder" Trap: A New Approach to Quitting Porn Maybe you've said to yourself, "This time will be different." You delete the apps, block the websites, stay busy - maybe even make it a few weeks. Then the urges hit harder than ever, and you're back at square one. This cycle crushes both you and your partner. As a therapist who's helped hundreds of men through this struggle, I can tell you something important: Quitting porn isn't about willpower. Most men get stuck because they're taking the wrong approach - trying to force themselves to stop or just avoid triggers. Today, I'll share three key elements that actually work. No more guessing, no more endless cycles of trying and failing. Instead, you'll get a clear, practical plan that addresses the real reasons you're stuck.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

6 Feb 23min

When Healing Conversations Go Wrong – When pornography damages a relationship, couples need to talk about the pain to heal. But these conversations often hit a wall: he gets defensive, sounds like a robot, or just shuts down. This leaves her feeling even more alone and wondering if she should have stayed quiet. The cycle is painful: she shares her hurt, he responds without emotion, and both end up feeling worse than before. Many couples start dreading these talks entirely, worried they'll just create more damage. Today, I'll reveal why these conversations break down and how to fix them. You'll learn four key reasons repair talks fail, plus practical ways to solve each problem. Whether you're triggered, hurting, or just want to connect better, these strategies will help you have the meaningful conversations your relationship needs to heal. Let's turn these dreaded talks into moments that actually bring you closer.   As a therapist who's helped hundreds of men through this struggle, I can tell you something important: Quitting porn isn't about willpower. Most men get stuck because they're taking the wrong approach - trying to force themselves to stop or just avoid triggers. Today, I'll share three key elements that actually work. No more guessing, no more endless cycles of trying and failing. Instead, you'll get a clear, practical plan that addresses the real reasons you're stuck.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and resolve the root cause so it doesn't come back. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully overcome it, I’ll work with you for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

30 Jan 21min