Episode 41: “My Hole Didn’t Kill Me”

Episode 41: “My Hole Didn’t Kill Me”

This week on Brolapse, I open up like never before—emotionally and medically. As I head into my colon reconnection surgery, I’m reflecting on everything this experience has taught me: from suicidal fear to radical acceptance, body horror to body pride, prolapse loss to prolapse resurrection.


I talk candidly about the day my hole almost killed me, the shock of waking up with a stoma, my doctor giving me the green light to keep fisting (bless him), and how I found peace, pleasure, and purpose in unexpected places—including latex, punchfisting, and maybe even filming with my stoma 👀. I also call out the two losers who ghosted me over my bag. You’ll never hear from them again.


This one’s raw, honest, and deeply personal. If you’ve ever felt broken or terrified that your kink, your body, or your life was over—this episode is for you.


💬 Tap in. Share it. And wish me luck.

New episodes every Friday at 8PM.


🎧 Listen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3uJBareUPFci58BJ0NtwtoIOKKuaaBIa

🎧 Listen on Spotify: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse (Early video access for Spotify subscribers!)

🍏 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/408WLLX

📻 Amazon & Audible: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/57bbf689-250a-4c96-8559-0a79805f18b6/hungerff-presents-brolapse

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Episode 75: From First Fist to Full Confidence: Ian Greene on Growth, Boundaries & Trusting Your Body

Episode 75: From First Fist to Full Confidence: Ian Greene on Growth, Boundaries & Trusting Your Body

This week on Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with Ian Greene for a long-overdue conversation that spans years of crossing paths, shared experiences, and personal evolution.Ian opens up about his fisting ...

21 Feb 18min

Episode 74: John Thomas — Fantasy, Responsibility, and the Reality Behind the Scene

Episode 74: John Thomas — Fantasy, Responsibility, and the Reality Behind the Scene

In Episode 74 of Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with ⁠John Thomas⁠ for a conversation that goes far beyond the surface of porn.John opens up about his fisting origin story, growing up with religion, gui...

14 Feb 47min

Episode 73: Wyld Ryder: Becoming the Pig You Are

Episode 73: Wyld Ryder: Becoming the Pig You Are

In this episode of Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with Chicago-based creator Wyld Ryder for a candid conversation about confidence, kink, and the slow burn of becoming fully yourself.Wyld opens up abo...

7 Feb 28min

Episode 72: HungerFF Sound Initiative (Part Two)

Episode 72: HungerFF Sound Initiative (Part Two)

Episode 72 completes the two-part HungerFF Sound Initiative.Following last week’s introduction, Part Two leans fully into execution, featuring four complete track drops that expand the project’s sound...

1 Feb 21min

Episode 71: HungerFF Sound Initiative (Part One)

Episode 71: HungerFF Sound Initiative (Part One)

In Episode 71, HungerFF steps away from traditional interviews and introduces a new music-driven project that blends kink, humor, masculinity, and AI-assisted production. Recorded as an audio-only epi...

31 Jan 23min

Episode 70: Rocco Steele on Letting Go, Living Truth, and the Chapter After “Rocco”

Episode 70: Rocco Steele on Letting Go, Living Truth, and the Chapter After “Rocco”

Some episodes are fun. Some are loud. And then there are the rare ones that feel like a real conversation you’re lucky to witness.In Episode 70, Rocco Steele joins me for an honest, reflective talk ab...

17 Jan 1h 8min

Episode 69: No Safe Words — A First Listen to Deeper

Episode 69: No Safe Words — A First Listen to Deeper

For Episode 69 of Brolapse, Ryan James does something different.Instead of a guest, this episode offers a first listen to Deeper—his forthcoming memoir—presented here in its unedited author’s version....

10 Jan 9min

Episode 68: Intimacy Over Performance — A Fisting Top’s Perspective (feat. Brogan)

Episode 68: Intimacy Over Performance — A Fisting Top’s Perspective (feat. Brogan)

In Episode 68 of Brolapse, Ryan sits down with Brogan for a rare and deeply thoughtful conversation from the perspective of a fisting top—a voice we don’t hear nearly often enough.Brogan shares his un...

3 Jan 48min

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