overcoming extreme emotion dysregulation and suicidal ideation (ft. CJ THE X)

In this episode, I sit down with Toronto-based video essayist, artist, and philosopher CJ THE X, whose creative force extends far beyond YouTube. Known for channeling explosive emotions into music and art, CJ shares his journey through the ups and downs of living with BPD and how he’s worked to escape the mental traps that once held him captive.

We explore how CJ’s imaginative childhood eventually clashed with the demands of the “real world” as a teenager, leading him to confront his BPD diagnosis, struggles with self-destructive behaviors, and experiences with inpatient psychiatric care. Despite being labeled “high functioning,” CJ found himself dismissed by mental health professionals, leaving him to face the weight of chronic emptiness, intense shame, and fear of abandonment on his own. In this conversation, CJ opens up about the self-sabotaging beliefs that kept him feeling stuck and how DBT therapy became his lifeline, providing the skills and tools to build a life of resilience and purpose. He describes the powerful impact of his “Favorite Person” relationships, the challenge of finding ways to cope with distress, and the importance of navigating emotions without judgment. By thinking dialectically, CJ has found a way to balance opposing feelings, using them as fuel for his art and creative path.

This episode is a testament to the power of art and community in the healing journey. CJ reflects on how transforming emotions into music and giving back to others has enriched his life, showing that creativity can be a profound source of strength, insight, and connection. Join us as we dive into CJ’s inspiring journey from despair to empowerment and the tools he’s gained to manage life as a self-employed artist forging his own path.

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Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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