203: Live Session: The Best Tools to Help You Resolve Triggers and End the Arguments

203: Live Session: The Best Tools to Help You Resolve Triggers and End the Arguments

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use?

Click here to book a free clarity call with Samhttps://stopporn.info/

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Episode Description:

When a man is working to overcome pornography, it’s not just about stopping the behavior—it’s about learning to handle the emotional triggers that used to lead him back to porn in the first place. But what happens when those triggers—like stress, disconnection, or escape—start creeping back in?

In this powerful coaching session, you’ll hear a real couple navigate the emotional aftermath of porn addiction, where old patterns of distraction resurface and start to erode their connection again. What starts as “just being on the phone” quickly becomes a deeper emotional trigger for the wife—bringing up pain, fear, and the belief that she’s not enough.

This episode explores what happens when unresolved wounds from porn use in marriage resurface, even after the behavior has stopped. You'll learn how subtle behaviors can trigger relational anxiety, how communication often breaks down when underlying shame or disconnection hasn’t been fully addressed, and why many wives feel caught between nagging and staying silent.

If you’ve ever thought,

  • “I’m doing better, but my wife still doesn’t feel safe,”

  • “Why is she reacting so strongly to something small?”

  • “I don’t know how to rebuild trust after porn,”

…this episode will help you understand what’s really going on underneath the surface.

We walk through:

  • The hidden emotional triggers that linger after porn addiction recovery

  • How wives internalize the impact of pornography use, even months or years later

  • Why avoiding hard conversations leads to more disconnection

  • The root fears that cause communication to break down

  • How to reconnect through emotional honesty—not surface-level behavior change

Whether you're early in the process or years into healing, this episode will give you insight into what it really takes to heal your marriage after pornography, break the cycle of emotional withdrawal, and move toward deeper connection, clarity, and safety.

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Mini Episode 2: Understanding Emotions Can Shortcut the Healing Process

Mini Episode 2: Understanding Emotions Can Shortcut the Healing Process

One of the most important steps in this process for husbands and wives is to better understand their emotions. Many people ignore or suppress them, but this actually slows down your progress.  Emotions contain important messages.  They send information that reveals an underlying need or something that needs attention. The sooner you can decode what your emotions are trying to tell you, the sooner you can address the issue and find resolution.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

9 Dec 20244min

173: Improving Sexual Intimacy When There's Been Damage By Pornography Use

173: Improving Sexual Intimacy When There's Been Damage By Pornography Use

Sexual intimacy is one of the biggest things that is damaged when their wife discovers her husband pornography use. It can be scary for her to be intimate because of the insecurities and fears that this situation creates – "Is he comparing me to other people he's seen?" "Is he just using me as a part of his addiction?" "I want to be intimate but I don't feel safe enough.. how can we restore that foundation?" In this episode, I share with you specific things that you can do to rebuild safety and security so your sexual intimacy can improve.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

5 Dec 202437min

Mini Episode 1: If You Struggle With Repeated Setbacks, Do This

Mini Episode 1: If You Struggle With Repeated Setbacks, Do This

Welcome to today's first mini episode! I'm testing something new and am going to do a podcast that's less than 5 minutes long that gives you a specific tool to implement or a thought to consider. These will be designed to give you something actionable that you can implement quickly to see changes fast. In today's episode, I share with you a specific thing that you can do if you struggle with personal or relationship setbacks. If you seem to keep hitting the same wall or struggle to maintain progress, this episode is for you.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

2 Dec 20243min

172: When He Starts Making Progress, She Gets Scared He’ll Fall Back

172: When He Starts Making Progress, She Gets Scared He’ll Fall Back

Sometimes when a husband is making good progress personally and in the relationship, his wife has fears and doubts: “How can I know that he’s telling the truth?” “What if he’s just gotten better at hiding it?” “it's scary to bring down my wall because I don't wanna get hurt again…” This can be discouraging for both people, especially if a husband really is doing well. He can feel deflated and hopeless thinking that there’s nothing he can do to make things better. In this episode, I share with you specifically how to handle these situations and how you can build safety in a way that eases the fears and discouragement that both people can feel.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

28 Nov 202421min

171: One Step 100 Times vs 100 Steps – The Few Skills That Matter For Progress on Self and Marriage

171: One Step 100 Times vs 100 Steps – The Few Skills That Matter For Progress on Self and Marriage

In this episode, I reflect on a powerful moment from a couples counseling session where a wife expressed feeling overwhelmed by the journey ahead. I shared a mindset shift with them: it’s not about 100 steps—it’s one step done 100 times. Inspired by Bruce Lee’s quote about doing 10,000 kicks, rather it's practicing 1 kick 10,000 times, we’ll explore how true progress comes from simplifying and focusing on a few key actions repeated consistently. Join me as we break down the most important elements to prioritize in your individual and relationship progress, helping you grow faster, avoid burnout, and stay focused on what truly matters.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

21 Nov 202422min

170: 3 Step Framework to Solve Problems in Your Marriage and Overcome Pornography

170: 3 Step Framework to Solve Problems in Your Marriage and Overcome Pornography

A lot of couples feel stagnant on this journey and don’t make the progress that they hope and it’s slow and discouraging. And what I’ve come to recognize as one of the most important aspects of this work is clarity. If you don’t have perfect clarity about what the unresolved issues are, what’s causing them, and how to address them, then progress is slow. Many women feel a lack of security or trust in their marriage because the pornography use hasn’t been resolved. Many husband struggle with urges and temptations that they want to overcome.  Today I want to share with you a 3 step framework I use with all of my clients to help you get traction towards resolving problems quickly and start to see results instead of both of you just feeling discouraged.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

14 Nov 202419min

169: Rebuilding Trust After Pornography Use (Assumed vs Acquired Trust)

169: Rebuilding Trust After Pornography Use (Assumed vs Acquired Trust)

When a relationship is damaged by pornography use and dishonesty, many couples wonder if it's possible to actually fully rebuild trust again. There are often lots of staggered or trickle disclosures, which caused a lot of damage to the trust.  So can it actually be rebuilt again? The answer is yes. But it requires a very specific approach and that's what I want to share with you in today's episode. The more clarity you have about what steps to take and how to rebuild trust, the more you can focus on taking the right actions and start to see progress in your relationship.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

7 Nov 202424min

168: The Best Tool to End Fights Faster And Find Closure in Conversations

168: The Best Tool to End Fights Faster And Find Closure in Conversations

Are you and your spouse tired of arguing about the same thing over and over again? Are you feeling stuck not knowing how to find closure and repair the damage of pornography use in your marriage? Most couples get stuck when discussing the pain and hurt they feel and conversations end in fights or distance. In today's episode, I want to share with you, one specific tool that you can implement immediately to have better conversations with each other. And when you know how to have conversations in a way that creates closure, you can discuss any difficult topic without it spiraling into an argument.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

31 Okt 202423min

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