Stan Tatkin - You Won't Get A Secure Relationship Without Secure Agreements
ManTalks Podcast7 Juli 2025

Stan Tatkin - You Won't Get A Secure Relationship Without Secure Agreements

Talking points: relationship, attachment, culture

I love Stan because he's able to cut through so much of the modern BS around relationships, and get straight to practical, tactical perspectives and advice. We covered a TON of ground here, from the importance of social contracts and mutual protection, to the need for shared vision and purpose in creating equitable and collaborative relationships.

This is definitely a convo that will spark some discussion, so listen in, team.


(00:00:00) - Intro and the nature of secure functioning

(00:05:52) - Human Nature and Relationship Dynamics

(00:10:01) - Impact of Technology on Relationships

(00:23:35) - Creating Secure Functioning Relationships

(00:35:06) - Predictability and Prevention in Relationships

(00:36:51) - The Importance of Quick Repair

(00:43:02) - Mutual Protection and Solidarity

(00:47:20) - Compatibility and Relationship Agreements

(00:51:59) - The Role of Attachment in Relationships

(01:00:42) - Final Thoughts and Practical Advice


Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, is a renowned expert in human behaviour and couple relationships, known for developing the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT). He is a global speaker and teacher on secure-functioning relationships, with his insights reaching over 1.7 million viewers through his TEDx talk. Stan has authored six bestselling books, translated into multiple languages, and has published numerous academic articles.


In 2010, Stan co-founded the PACT Institute with his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, to train therapists in integrating psychobiological approaches into their practices. His work has earned him the Educator of the Year award from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA in 2014.


Stan leads couples in creating healthy attachments through his clinical practice in Calabasas, California, and Wired For Love Couple Retreats. He has held academic positions at UCLA and serves on the boards of Lifespan Learning Institute and Relationships First. A former president of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, Ventura County chapter, Stan is trained in various psychotherapeutic techniques, including Adult Attachment, Facial Action Coding System, and Vipassana meditation.


Connect with Dr. Tatkin

-Website: https://www.thepactinstitute.com/

-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drstantatkin/

-Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PactTrainingInstitute


***

Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth

Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/

Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment

Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship

Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.

Enjoy the podcast? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify

For more, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram

Avsnitt(1027)

Why Young Men Are So Angry, with Trey Tucker

Why Young Men Are So Angry, with Trey Tucker

I sit down with Trey Tucker to talk about grief, father wounds, and what it really means for men to be tough enough. We explore how men process loss, why responsibility often comes before emotion, and...

23 Feb 57min

Two Lessons That Can Fix Your Attachment

Two Lessons That Can Fix Your Attachment

I dive deep into the two main things you need to understand to fix your insecure attachment style. I break down the specific threats and survival strategies that drive anxious, avoidant, and disorgani...

19 Feb 34min

Why High Performers Burn Out with Irene Lyon

Why High Performers Burn Out with Irene Lyon

I sit down with Irene Lyon to unpack why so many high performers eventually hit a wall. We break down what nervous system regulation actually means, how early attachment shapes stress resilience, and ...

16 Feb 1h 28min

Are Women More Radicalized Than Men?

Are Women More Radicalized Than Men?

I examine the claim that men are becoming increasingly radicalized and ask whether we are overlooking something more complicated. I explore how radicalization can manifest differently in men and women...

12 Feb 29min

The Great Man Theory - A Guide to the Men Worth Studying

The Great Man Theory - A Guide to the Men Worth Studying

I break down the Great Man Theory and what it actually means for modern men. I explore why the individuals we study quietly shape our standards, our ambition, and ultimately our identity. This isn’t a...

9 Feb 24min

Your Self-Worth Won’t Let You Change - Until You Do This

Your Self-Worth Won’t Let You Change - Until You Do This

I break down why self-worth isn’t a motivation problem and why trying to “think” your way into confidence rarely works. I explain how your identity is built from predictable behavioral patterns and ho...

5 Feb 20min

Teaching Children to Do Hard Things, with Leland Vittert

Teaching Children to Do Hard Things, with Leland Vittert

I sit down with Leland Vittert to talk about his childhood diagnosis of autism and the extraordinary role his father played in shaping his resilience. We explore why removing adversity from children o...

2 Feb 49min

The #1 Masculine Trait Every Man Must Develop

The #1 Masculine Trait Every Man Must Develop

I break down the single most critical masculine trait every man needs to master this year: self-control. I explain why true masculinity isn't about suppressing your emotions or killing your aggression...

29 Jan 23min

Populärt inom Utbildning

rss-bara-en-till-om-missbruk-medberoende-2
historiepodden-se
det-skaver
alska-oss
harrisons-dramatiska-historia
nu-blir-det-historia
roda-vita-rosen
allt-du-velat-veta
johannes-hansen-podcast
rss-foraldramotet-bring-lagercrantz
sektledare
not-fanny-anymore
rss-viktmedicinpodden
i-vantan-pa-katastrofen
sa-in-i-sjalen
rss-basta-livet
rikatillsammans-om-privatekonomi-rikedom-i-livet
rss-sjalsligt-avkladd
rss-om-vi-ska-vara-arliga
rss-psykoterapipodden