184. Writing About Childhood Sexual Abuse without Reliving It featuring Dr. Stacey Hettes

Isidra Mencos joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about setting her coming-of-age memoir against the backdrop of Spain’s cultural upheaval after the death of Franco, balancing personal narrative with history and research, writing about sex, the destructive power of shame, and the decision to write about family secrets in her new memoir Promenade of Desire.   Also in this episode: -What to do about gaps in our memory when writing memoir -Trusting our instincts -Deciding what and what not to share   Books mentioned in this episode: The Liar’s Club by Mary Karr Lit by Mary Karr Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado Jesusland by Julia Scheeres Dry by Augusten Burroughs Girlhood by Melissa Febos the work of Melissa Febos the work of David Sedaris   Isidra Mencos was born and raised in Barcelona. She spent her twenties experimenting with the new freedoms afforded by the end of Franco’s dictatorship in Spain while immersing herself in books and dancing. She freelanced for prestigious publishing houses, traveled the world as a tour leader, and worked for the Olympic Committee. In 1992 she moved to the US to earn a Ph.D. in Spanish and Latin American contemporary literature at UC Berkeley, where she taught for twelve years. She also developed her own business as a writer and editor for Spanish-speaking media. After a 10-year stint in corporate America, managing teams in several countries, she quit her job in 2016 to dedicate herself to writing. Since then, her essays have been widely published in literary journals and general interest magazines, such as Chicago Quarterly Review, Front Porch Journal, The Huffington Post, Wisdom Well, and WIRED. One was listed as Notable in the Best American Essays Anthology. Today Isidra lives in Northern California with her husband and son.   Connect with Isidra: Website: https://isidramencos.com Personal Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/isidra.mencos Author Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IsidraMencosAuthor/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isidramencos/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/isidramencos LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/isidramencos/   -- Ronit is a teacher and speaker whose essays, creative nonfiction, and fiction have been featured in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named a 2021 Best True Crime Book by Book Riot and was a Finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards, the Housatonic Book Awards, and the Book of the Year Awards. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and will be published in 2023. She is creative nonfiction editor at The Citron Review and lives in Seattle with her family where she is working on her next book.   More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com   More about WHEN SHE COMES BACK, a memoir: https://ronitplank.com/book/   Connect with Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank   Background photo: Canva Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

6 Dec 202238min

Jamie Gehring joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about her braided memoir Madman in the Woods which details her and her family’s experience living next to Unabomber Ted Kaczynski, how she incorporated and structured research, interviews, and her own memories, the challenge of organizing so much information, and why writers need to follow their instincts.   Also in this episode: -Not losing the reader -Getting it all onto the page -Intimate true crime as a genre   Books mentioned in this episode: ShadowMan: An Elusive Psycho Killer and the Birth of the FBI by Ron Franscell When She Comes Back by Ronit Plank Bookends by Zibby Owens Inside Passage by Keema Watrfield The Babysitter: My Summers with Serial Killer by Liza Rodman and Jennifer Jordan Knocked Down by Aileen Weintraub Educated by Tara Westover The Art of Memoir by Mary Karr The Stranger Beside Me: Ted Bundy: The Shocking Inside Story by Anne Rule The Fact of a Body: A Murder and a Memoir by Alexandria Marzano-Lesnevich  You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me: A Memoir by Sherman Alexie   Jamie Gehring is a Montana native who grew up sharing a backyard with Ted Kaczynski, the man widely known as the Unabomber. She was featured in Netflix’s Unabomber—In His Own Words where she discussed her family’s role in Ted’s capture.   Connect with Jamie: Website: www.jamiegehring.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamiegehringauthor/ Books: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781635768169 -- Ronit is a teacher and speaker whose essays, creative nonfiction, and fiction have been featured in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named a 2021 Best True Crime Book by Book Riot and was a Finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards, the Housatonic Book Awards, and the Book of the Year Awards. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and will be published in 2023. She is creative nonfiction editor at The Citron Review and lives in Seattle with her family where she is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com More about WHEN SHE COMES BACK, a memoir: https://ronitplank.com/book/   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo: Canva Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

29 Nov 202238min

Lily Dunn joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about the impact her father leaving to follow the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh had on her childhood, when she knew it was time to write her memoir Sins of the Father, stepping into her role as reflective narrator, creating tension, family members in our work, and understanding as a means to healing.   Also in this episode: -writing to find answers -our early experiences as shadows in our lives -staying true to your purpose    Books mentioned in this episode: Educated by Tara Westover Whip Smart by Meliss Febos Your Voice in My Head by Emma Forrest Busy Being Free by Emma Forrst   Lily Dunn writes fiction and nonfiction. Her literary memoir, Sins of My Father: A Daughter, A Cult, A Wild Unravelling is published by Weidenfeld & Nicolson (March 2022), and her novel, Shadowing the Sun, by Portobello Books (2007). She has personal essays in Granta, Litro, Hinterland, MIRonline and The Real Story, and is a regular writer for Aeon magazine. She is co-editor of A Wild and Precious Life: Recovery Anthology, with Zoe Gilbert (Unbound 2021). She teaches creative writing at Bath Spa University in the UK and co-runs London Lit Lab.    Connect with Lily: Twitter: https://twitter.com/lilydunnwriter Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lilydunnwriting/ Website: lilydunn.co.uk London Lit Lab: londonlitlab.co.uk UK Book Link: https://smarturl.it/SinsOfMyFatherHB US Book Link: https://geni.us/SinsOfMyFatherUS -- Ronit is a teacher and speaker whose essays, creative nonfiction, and fiction have been featured in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named a 2021 Best True Crime Book by Book Riot and was a Finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards, the Housatonic Book Awards, and the Book of the Year Awards. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and will be published in 2023. She is creative nonfiction editor at The Citron Review and lives in Seattle with her family where she is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com More about WHEN SHE COMES BACK, a memoir: https://ronitplank.com/book/ Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo: Canva Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

22 Nov 202233min

Sonya Huber joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about structure and time in memoir, the challenge of getting to the core of who we are and facing ourselves on the page, how her perspective on “voice” has changed over time and why that drove her to write her new book Voice First: A Writer’s Manifesto.   Also in this episode: -the power of shame to silence us -how “authentic” voice might not mean what we think -a writing exercise to help jumpstart your work   Books mentioned in this episode: Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf The Mezzanine by Nicholas Baker Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard Let Us Now Praise Famous Men by Jjames Agee Writers: Andrew Monson and Peter Elbow   Sonya Huber is the author of seven books, including the new guide, Voice First: A Writer’s Manifesto, and the award-winning essay collection on chronic pain, Pain Woman Takes Your Keys and Other Essays from a Nervous System. Her other books include Supremely Tiny Acts: A Memoir in a Day, Opa Nobody, Cover Me: A Health Insurance Memoir, and The Backwards Research Guide for Writers. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Brevity, Creative Nonfiction, and other outlets. She teaches at Fairfield University and in the Fairfield low-residency MFA program. Connect with Sonya: Twitter: https://twitter.com/sonyahuber Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sonya.huber/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sonyahuber/ Website: www.sonyahuber.com Sonya's books: https://bookshop.org/lists/sonya-huber-s-books -- Ronit is a teacher and speaker whose essays, creative nonfiction, and fiction have been featured in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named a 2021 Best True Crime Book by Book Riot and was a Finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards, the Housatonic Book Awards, and the Book of the Year Awards. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and will be published in 2023. She is creative nonfiction editor at The Citron Review and lives in Seattle with her family where she is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com More about WHEN SHE COMES BACK, a memoir: https://ronitplank.com/book/ Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo: Canva Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

15 Nov 202231min

Season 2 of Let’s Talk Memoir is almost here! I’m incredibly excited to bring you all of the interviews I’ve been working on. These episodes cover voice, sharing family secrets, braided memoir, nonlinear memoir, what it’s like to move from other creative disciplines to memoir, advocating for our work, and lots more.  Season 2 of Let’s Talk Memoir will launch November 15th, that’s Tuesday, November 15th and new episodes will come out weekly. If you have questions about memoir or about how memoirists craft their narratives, or anything at all that you would like covered on the show, there’s still time to send me a note with your question or topic suggestion.  You can find me on Instagram, Twitter,  LinkedIn, and Facebook @RonitPlank and you can also message me on my website ronitplank.com. It’s been a lot of fun to read your reviews and messages about season 1 and makes creating this podcast that much more rewarding. If you haven’t yet left a review on Apple podcasts or Spotify it’s not too late. Every review helps others find the show. And if you know a writer or a memoir aficionado who would appreciate this podcast, please share it. Podcasts really depend on word of mouth and listener enthusiasm. Thank you so much for being here and I just can’t wait to drop episode one on Tuesday, November 15th!     Ronit is a teacher and speaker whose essays, creative nonfiction, and fiction have been featured in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named a 2021 Best True Crime Book by Book Riot and was a Finalist in the National Indie Excellence Awards, the Housatonic Book Awards, and the Book of the Year Awards. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and will be published in 2023. She is creative nonfiction editor at The Citron Review and lives in Seattle with her family where she is working on her next book. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com More about WHEN SHE COMES BACK, a memoir: https://ronitplank.com/book/ Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank Background photo: Canva Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

21 Okt 20222min

Dr. Ginger Campbell joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about the nature of memory and how that affects memoir writing, the phenomenon of false memories, cognitive dissonance, the slipperiness of what we can remember and how each time we do we actually recreate the memory, and why this is all good news for memoirists. Dr. Ginger Campbell started podcasting in 2006 and was recently inducted into the Podcast Hall of Fame. Her shows include Brain Science, Books and Ideas, and Graying Rainbows: Coming Out LGBT+ Later in Life. Her most well-known show Brain Science explores how recent discoveries in neuroscience are unraveling the mystery of how our brain makes us human. Dr. Campbell is also the author of Are You Sure? The Unconscious Origins of Certainty and she practices Palliative Medicine in Alabama.   Main links: https://virginiacampbellmd.com https://brainsciencepodcast.com @docartemis on most social media   -Visit the Let's Talk Memoir Merch store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/letstalkmemoir -- Ronit’s essays and fiction have been featured in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in both the 2021 Best Book Awards and the 2021 Book of the Year Award and a 2021 Best True Crime Book by Book Riot. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and will be published in 2022. She is host and producer of the podcasts And Then Everything Changed and The Body Myth. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com More about WHEN SHE COMES BACK, a memoir: https://ronitplank.com/book/ Sign up for monthly podcast and writing updates: https://bit.ly/33nyTKd   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank   Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

14 Juni 202230min

Phillip Lopate, a central figure in the revival of the American essay joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation about the integral role the divided self plays in memoir, striking the balance between telling and showing, how knowing your own flaws and defects helps build trust with the reader, why the intelligent narrator must be present from page one, and why having an interesting take on your story is as if not more important than the story itself.   Also in this episode: -why memoirs aren’t for getting even -turning yourself into a character -narcissistic parents in memoir Memoirs mentioned in this episode: Borrowed Finery by Paula Fox Memoirs of a Catholic Girlhood by Mary McCarthy My Father Myself by J.R. Ackerly My Dog Tulip by J.R. Ackerly   Phillip Lopate is a central figure in the revival of the American essay, both through his ubiquitous edited anthology, Art of the Personal Essay, and his own essay collections, Bachelorhood, Against Joie de Vivre, Portrait of My Body and Portrait Inside My Head.  He is also the author of such book-length nonfiction works as To Show and to Tell, Being with Children, Waterfront, Notes on Sontag, Rudy Burckhardt: Photographer and A Mother’s Tale.  Additionally, he has written books of fiction (Confessions of Summer, The Rug Merchant, Two Marriages) and poetry (At the End of the Day).  Finally, he has edited other anthologies (Writing New York and American Movie Critics), and is currently completing a three-volume historical anthology of the American essay.  A member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, a winner of Guggenheim, New York Public Library and National Endowment for the Arts fellowships, he is on the faculty of Columbia University’s Graduate Writing Program, School of the Arts.  https://philliplopate.com -- Ronit’s essays and fiction have been featured in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in both the 2021 Best Book Awards and the 2021 Book of the Year Award and a 2021 Best True Crime Book by Book Riot. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and will be published in 2022. She is host and producer of the podcasts And Then Everything Changed and The Body Myth. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com More about WHEN SHE COMES BACK, a memoir: https://ronitplank.com/book/ Sign up for monthly podcast and writing updates: https://bit.ly/33nyTKd   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank   Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

7 Juni 202226min

Judy Bolton-Fasman joins Let’s Talk Memoir for a conversation on how writing about complicated relationships with generosity creates stories and characters that stay with readers, the case for speculative nonfiction, the impact fellowships have had on her writing,  negotiating family members who appear in memoir, and don’t-miss-encouragement for all artists.   Also in this episode: -how seeds of her memoir began in fiction -what blew her work open -Ronit mispronounces illustrative   Memoirs mentioned in this episode: Knocked Down by AIleen Weintraub Priestdaddy: A Memoir by Patricia Lockwood How to Forget: A Daughter's Memoir by Kate Mulgrew   Bio: Judy Bolton-Fasman is the author of ASYLUM: A Memoir of Family Secrets from Mandel Vilar Press. Her essays and reviews have appeared in major newspapers including the New York Times and Boston Globe, essay anthologies, and literary magazines. She is the recipient of numerous writing fellowships, including the Alonzo G. Davis Fellowship for Latinx writers at the Virginia Center for Creative Arts.  She is a four-time winner of the Rockower Award from the American Jewish Press Association and a two-time Pushcart Prize and Best of the  Net nominee. She recently received an honorable mention in Tiferet’s Creative Nonfiction Essay Writing Contest. Website: judyboltonfasman.com  Amazon link to buy ASYLUM: https://www.amazon.com/Asylum-Memoir-Family-Secrets-Bolton-Fasman/dp/1942134770/ref=sr_1_1?crid=12OPHYITO9LWO&keywords=asylum+judy+bolton+fasman&qid=1649088222&sprefix=bolton-fasman%2Caps%2C96&sr=8-1   Ronit’s essays and fiction have been featured in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, The Iowa Review, The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in both the 2021 Best Book Awards and the 2021 Book of the Year Award and a 2021 Best True Crime Book by Book Riot. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts’ 2020 Eludia Award and will be published in 2022. She is host and producer of the podcasts And Then Everything Changed and The Body Myth. More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com More about WHEN SHE COMES BACK, a memoir: https://ronitplank.com/book/ Sign up for monthly podcast and writing updates: https://bit.ly/33nyTKd   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://twitter.com/RonitPlank https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank   Background photo credit: Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash Headshot photo credit: Sarah Anne Photography Theme music: Isaac Joel, Dead Moll’s Fingers

31 Maj 202230min