Cloud2 Apr 2025

Small Talk & Overwhelm: Is Dating Different When You Have ADHD? With Logan Ury

How do you go with small talk, keeping the conversation going and not feeling overwhelmed by matches and messages? Do you ever wonder how the people you’re matching with perceive you? I felt all of the above. I hated small talk and found it incredibly boring, I was constantly overwhelmed by the expectation to reply if I hadn’t checked my messages in a little while and I was always worried that I would appear ‘too intense’ to the people I had matched with and I tried to tone myself down so that they wouldn’t be scared off.

Hinge recently conducted some research into dating and ADHD! They examined over 9000 daters on Hinge across the world with a clinical ADHD diagnosis to get a bit of a read of the room on how dating can affect us. Joining the podcast is Logan Ury; Hinge’s Director of Relationship Science. She’s a behavioural scientist turned dating coach and the author of the best-selling dating book, How to Not Die Alone.

In today’s episode we talk:

What people with ADHD tend to struggle with on the apps
Why small talk is a huge hurdle for people with ADHD
How to avoid small talk
Masking and being scared of being viewed as ‘weird’ or unusual
Shift vs support responses. What they are and how it will REALLY help people with ADHD
Analysis paralysis and the paradox of choice

You can find more from Logan Ury at her website

and instagram

You can read Hinge’s ADHD dating report

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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