From Toxic Individualism to Relational Security with Terry Real (179)

Toxic individualism – sounds about right, doesn’t it?

This episode explores individualistic thinking and will support you doing the tough internal work to give up power in favor of connection. Utilizing neurobiology, years of research, and professional experience, Terry Real and Ann Kelley break down the history of individualism and the toxic patterns it can hold in our society and in our relationships. Episode notes at www.therapistuncensored.com/180.

“You can empower yourself and empower your partner – both in the same breath – but you have to move beyond this culture and learn how to do that.” – Terry Real About Terry Real

Terry Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute (RLI), offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents around the country along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy) methodology. A family therapist and teacher for more than twenty-five years, Terry is a best-selling author, a senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge in Massachusetts, and a retired Clinical Fellow of the Meadows Institute in Arizona. Terry has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and fellow therapists. Through his books, the Institute, and workshops around the country, Terry helps women and men, parents and non-parents, to help them create the connection they desire in their relationships.

Time Stamps for Toxic Individualism

2:43 – History and evolution of individualism

3:13 – The fusion of patriarchy and individualism

8:20 – Introduction to the “adaptive child” ideology

14:30 – Explanation of “soft power”

16:22 – The “golden rule” of relationality

24:07 – “Relational mindfulness” and how to apply it

33:55 – Three phases in RLT (relational life therapy)

Resources

Terry Real’s Website

Terry Real’s Relational Workshop

“How Can I Get Through to You?” – Book by Terry Real

“I Don’t Want to Talk About It” – Book by Terry Real

“The New Rules of Marriage”– Book by Terry Real

Terry Real’s newest book – June, 2022

Click here for full episode #180 Toxic Individualism transcript (Lightly edited for readability)

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