206: How To Stop Self-Sabotage So You Can Quit Pornography and Repair Your Relationship

When a spouse is gone for the day or weekend and a man is all alone, it's a common trigger. In this episode I share 3 specific things you can do to make sure that those periods of being alone won't cause another setback. For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.   Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

3 Maj 202420min

Change is 100% if you have the right ingredients. In today's episode, I want to introduce to you a man who has found success, and 2 years later, he continues to to do well, have a strong marriage, and help other people in their struggles with quitting porn. This path can I often feel discouraging and depressing because most men experience countless failures and setbacks along the way. The common thread is that men just don't know what to do to eliminate their problem, despite putting in effort and being desperate for change. Check out this episode to see the specific things that helped Todd restore his relationship and conquer his problem. For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.   Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

25 Apr 202453min

Initiating conversations can be very difficult for a husband to do. If his wife is in a good mood, he doesn’t want to bring up the pain all over again. If she's in a bad mood, he doesn't want to cause a fight or make things worse. Thus, he avoids the conversations with her and she ends up feeling unseen, unloved, and all alone. In this episode, I share with you specific ways you can address this situation so you can have very productive conversations without fighting and create closure and connection again in the relationship. For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.   Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

18 Apr 202425min

How do the conversations go when you talk about her pain? Do they end with you feeling closer or further apart? Do you feel hopeless and inadequate, not knowing what to say to help her feel comforted? For a wife, not getting the understanding and validation she needs creates hurt and anger, and the conversations just stall out leaving them both alone. In this episode I share with you one of the main reasons why that happens and 2 things you can implement to change that dynamic. For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.   Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

11 Apr 202427min

Have you ever gotten into an argument with your spouse where you're talking about specific actions that he's committed to do but then doesn't follow through? For a wife, it can feel really frustrating if there’s a lack of follow through because she often receives that as him not being committed or caring enough. For a husband, it can be frustrating because if he’s working on things but then feels picked apart and like his efforts aren’t enough This leads to shutting down and distance. So in today’s episode I want to share with you how are you can both navigate this together in a way that doesn't divide you but can help you find closer and confidence that you’re healing together.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.   Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

4 Apr 202420min

"We've been spinning our wheels for 9 months... I'm in a worst place now than the day I discovered everything." A couple reached out to me a few hours before recording this episode. They were both discouraged and frustrated add the slow pace of the process of healing. No matter what they did, she just felt stuck and like she couldn't move forward because some key things in their approach were missing. In this episode I share with you the top 3 things that can cause significant damage in a relationship and prevent it from healing. I want to share these things with you and exactly how you can reverse them so you can make progress and move forward with closure.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.   Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

29 Mars 202429min

This road to healing your marriage can be agonizing. So many people wonder how long will this take? They feel like they might not be able to hold on much longer.   The good news is that it’s actually not based on a specific timeline or a number of years. Rather it’s based on how quickly you can learn the skills that you need to have new experiences together.   Some couples can feel like they are in a completely different place in just a matter of weeks because they focus on learning the skills necessary to get them there.   What skills do you need to learn? This is what I discuss in today’s episode.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.   Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

21 Mars 202419min

After the discovery of pornography use, it shatters the foundation of the entire relationship. Naturally, it becomes the center of most conversations as you try to resolve the issues and pain it causes. Then after you start making some progress, many couples wonder how long they need to keep talking about things? They often tend to have the same conversations over and over again, so they wonder what the next steps are and when they can move forward without always talking about it. In this episode, I share with you, the key indicators that you're ready to move forward and how you can find closure and resolution if you're not quite there yet. For therapy with Sam: Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.   Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

14 Mars 202418min