206: How To Stop Self-Sabotage So You Can Quit Pornography and Repair Your Relationship

206: How To Stop Self-Sabotage So You Can Quit Pornography and Repair Your Relationship

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use?

Click here to book a free call with Sam to get help to overcome pornographyhttps://stopporn.info/

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Podcast Description: If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I keep going back to porn even when I don’t want to?” — this episode is for you.

In today’s conversation, we’re uncovering why so many men sabotage their progress when trying to quit porn, even when they’re motivated, committed, and know what’s at stake. Whether you're struggling with porn addiction, trying to break the habit of watching porn, or working to rebuild trust after betrayal, this episode dives into the root of why you keep slipping—and how to stop.

You’ll learn:

Why you keep relapsing during porn recovery even when you really want to change

The emotional and psychological patterns that lead to self-sabotage during addiction recovery

What’s actually happening when you feel triggered, overwhelmed, or disconnected—and how that leads back to porn

How to work through the internal stories like “I’m never going to change” or “This is just who I am”

How men use porn as a way to escape feelings like shame, rejection, failure, and not being enough

Why many men unintentionally destroy the intimacy and trust they’re trying to rebuild with their wives

The real reason your past efforts to quit pornography haven’t worked—and what to do differently

Tools that actually work to build lasting freedom from porn, heal your marriage, and create long-term change

How to stop numbing, hiding, and isolating when you're in emotional pain

Real client stories of men who broke free from long-term porn habits, repaired emotional connection, and finally felt proud of who they were becoming

If you’ve tried porn blockers, accountability groups, or even therapy—but still feel like something deeper is keeping you stuck—this episode will help you identify the real reason for your porn struggles and finally give you a clear path forward.

This is for men who are serious about:

How to quit watching porn

How to stop masturbating to porn

How to recover after cheating or lying about porn use

How to rebuild trust after porn addiction in marriage

How to stop watching porn without white-knuckling

How to heal shame after pornography use

How to fix your relationship after betrayal

What to do when your wife doesn’t feel safe after porn

How to build emotional safety in marriage

And most of all—how to become the man you want to be

This episode offers a proven path to breaking free from porn, getting unstuck, and healing your relationship—from the inside out.

Avsnitt(210)

Why People Can’t Follow Through on Breaking Bad Habits or Patterns

Why People Can’t Follow Through on Breaking Bad Habits or Patterns

When people have a hard time following through on creating a good habit or breaking a bad one, there's always a reason. In this episode, we dive deeper into the reasons why we don't do the things that we say we want to do, and I share with you some strategies to help you dissolve any blocks or barriers that have prevented you from being successful. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

26 Aug 202133min

His Pornography Addiction Just Came Out... What Are The First Steps to Heal?

His Pornography Addiction Just Came Out... What Are The First Steps to Heal?

When a pornography addiction first comes out, it can be overwhelming and shocking. So many couples need a place to start and need direction about what steps to take next. The effects of porn addiction in a relationship are far reaching and can be severe when it comes to the trust, connection, and closeness. In this episode I share a framework and an overview with examples about what steps you can take in the beginning to start the healing process right away instead of spinning your wheels and feeling stuck. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

20 Aug 202129min

Can Sex With a Spouse Trigger the Pornography Addiction?

Can Sex With a Spouse Trigger the Pornography Addiction?

When it comes to bringing sex back into the relationship, one of the main questions that people have is “will that trigger him back into the addiction?” If men struggle with a porn addiction or a sex addiction, it can be difficult for a wife to feel comfortable with intimacy. There are a lot of fears and reservations when it comes to sexual intimacy because of the damage that is done in that area of the relationship by the addiction. In this episode I share how are you can know when the time is right to bring back sex, how you can gauge the timing, and what to do if triggers arise. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

14 Aug 202124min

2 Key Indicators It’s Safe to Trust Again

2 Key Indicators It’s Safe to Trust Again

When trust is damaged because of pornography addiction or lying, it's hard to know when it's safe to open up and trust again. Knowing what to look for will help you to measure whether or not there's progress being made, and it helps him to know where to spend his energy in the rebuilding phase and gaining her trust back. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

6 Aug 202132min

What If I Am Falling Out of Love With My Spouse?

What If I Am Falling Out of Love With My Spouse?

Sometimes people start to lose the love they have for their spouse, especially as pornography addiction and betrayal trauma negatively affect the relationship.  The good news is that if you know how to create, shape, and reignite love, you can rekindle it regardless of how long you've been together and even if you've gone through lots of rough patches. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

31 Juli 202130min

The Key Components to Her Healing From Betrayal Trauma and Beginning to Trust Again

The Key Components to Her Healing From Betrayal Trauma and Beginning to Trust Again

The road to overcome porn addiction and rebuilding your marriage can feel long and painful. The sting of betrayal and the web of the addiction can cause people to lose hope and sight of a better future. I’m joined in this episode by TC Jolley, who is a strong woman who healed from betrayal trauma as a result of her husband’s addiction. Their marriage is strong and connected, and they are individually in a solid place, and she shares some of the key factors that allowed her to thrive and heal individually and in the marriage For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

23 Juli 202130min

My Intentions Are Good But I Struggle to Consistently Follow Through

My Intentions Are Good But I Struggle to Consistently Follow Through

When people want to make changes in their lives, create new habits, routines or put systems in place, but it can be hard to be consistent! In this episode I share some strategies that can help you to be successful as you create habits and get them to stick, without needing willpower or superhuman discipline. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

16 Juli 202129min

If Her Wall Stays Up Despite His Best Efforts

If Her Wall Stays Up Despite His Best Efforts

When a woman experiences betrayal in a relationship due to porn addiction, it’s normal for her wall to go up to protect herself.  Without there being safety or security in the relationship, she protects herself from continued hurt and being impacted by the addiction and dishonesty. Sometimes women aren’t quite sure how to let the wall down and what indicators she should look for, and despite his best efforts, it feels like the relationship hits a plateau and doesn’t know what to do. In this episode, I share one of the most brilliant insights from a client about how to open the door to healing and growth. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

8 Juli 202128min

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