206: How To Stop Self-Sabotage So You Can Quit Pornography and Repair Your Relationship

One of the most important steps in this process for husbands and wives is to better understand their emotions. Many people ignore or suppress them, but this actually slows down your progress.  Emotions contain important messages.  They send information that reveals an underlying need or something that needs attention. The sooner you can decode what your emotions are trying to tell you, the sooner you can address the issue and find resolution.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

9 Dec 20244min

Sexual intimacy is one of the biggest things that is damaged when their wife discovers her husband pornography use. It can be scary for her to be intimate because of the insecurities and fears that this situation creates – "Is he comparing me to other people he's seen?" "Is he just using me as a part of his addiction?" "I want to be intimate but I don't feel safe enough.. how can we restore that foundation?" In this episode, I share with you specific things that you can do to rebuild safety and security so your sexual intimacy can improve.     For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

5 Dec 202437min

Welcome to today's first mini episode! I'm testing something new and am going to do a podcast that's less than 5 minutes long that gives you a specific tool to implement or a thought to consider. These will be designed to give you something actionable that you can implement quickly to see changes fast. In today's episode, I share with you a specific thing that you can do if you struggle with personal or relationship setbacks. If you seem to keep hitting the same wall or struggle to maintain progress, this episode is for you.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

2 Dec 20243min

Sometimes when a husband is making good progress personally and in the relationship, his wife has fears and doubts: “How can I know that he’s telling the truth?” “What if he’s just gotten better at hiding it?” “it's scary to bring down my wall because I don't wanna get hurt again…” This can be discouraging for both people, especially if a husband really is doing well. He can feel deflated and hopeless thinking that there’s nothing he can do to make things better. In this episode, I share with you specifically how to handle these situations and how you can build safety in a way that eases the fears and discouragement that both people can feel.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

28 Nov 202421min

In this episode, I reflect on a powerful moment from a couples counseling session where a wife expressed feeling overwhelmed by the journey ahead. I shared a mindset shift with them: it’s not about 100 steps—it’s one step done 100 times. Inspired by Bruce Lee’s quote about doing 10,000 kicks, rather it's practicing 1 kick 10,000 times, we’ll explore how true progress comes from simplifying and focusing on a few key actions repeated consistently. Join me as we break down the most important elements to prioritize in your individual and relationship progress, helping you grow faster, avoid burnout, and stay focused on what truly matters.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

21 Nov 202422min

A lot of couples feel stagnant on this journey and don’t make the progress that they hope and it’s slow and discouraging. And what I’ve come to recognize as one of the most important aspects of this work is clarity. If you don’t have perfect clarity about what the unresolved issues are, what’s causing them, and how to address them, then progress is slow. Many women feel a lack of security or trust in their marriage because the pornography use hasn’t been resolved. Many husband struggle with urges and temptations that they want to overcome.  Today I want to share with you a 3 step framework I use with all of my clients to help you get traction towards resolving problems quickly and start to see results instead of both of you just feeling discouraged.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

14 Nov 202419min

When a relationship is damaged by pornography use and dishonesty, many couples wonder if it's possible to actually fully rebuild trust again. There are often lots of staggered or trickle disclosures, which caused a lot of damage to the trust.  So can it actually be rebuilt again? The answer is yes. But it requires a very specific approach and that's what I want to share with you in today's episode. The more clarity you have about what steps to take and how to rebuild trust, the more you can focus on taking the right actions and start to see progress in your relationship.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

7 Nov 202424min

Are you and your spouse tired of arguing about the same thing over and over again? Are you feeling stuck not knowing how to find closure and repair the damage of pornography use in your marriage? Most couples get stuck when discussing the pain and hurt they feel and conversations end in fights or distance. In today's episode, I want to share with you, one specific tool that you can implement immediately to have better conversations with each other. And when you know how to have conversations in a way that creates closure, you can discuss any difficult topic without it spiraling into an argument.   For therapy with Sam: I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it. If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do. Click here for info to work with me directly.   Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  support@healingcouples.org   Get access to my trust building workshop: Rebuild Trust Workshop   Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Click the Couples Healing website and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.   Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

31 Okt 202423min