My Parents Left Me Alone to Forage and Survive on Angeles Mountains

As a child, Michelle Dowd grew up on a mountain in the Angeles National Forest. She was born into an ultra-religious cult—or the Field as they called it—started in the 1930s by her grandfather, a mercurial, domineering, and charismatic man who convinced generations of young male followers that he would live 500 years and ascend to the heavens when doomsday came. Comfort and care are sins, Michelle is told. As a result, she was forced to learn the skills necessary to battle hunger, thirst, and cold; she learned to trust animals more than humans; and most importantly, she learned how to survive in the natural world.

At the Field, a young Michelle lives a life of abuse, poverty, and isolation, as she obeys her family’s rigorous religious and patriarchal rules—which are so extreme that Michelle is convinced her mother would sacrifice her, like Abraham and Isaac, if instructed by God. She often wears the same clothes for months at a time; she is often ill and always hungry for both love and food. She is taught not to trust Outsiders, and especially not Quitters, nor her own body and its warnings.

But as Michelle gets older, she realizes she has the strength to break free. Focus on what will sustain, not satiate you, she tells herself. Use everything. Waste nothing. Get to know the intricacies of the land, like the intricacies of your body. And so she does.

Using stories of individual edible plants and their uses to anchor each chapter, Forager is both a searing coming-of-age story and a meditation on the ways in which understanding nature can lead to freedom, even joy.

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**Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**

Chapter Marks

00:00:00 Intro

00:04:02 The Familiarity She Had with "The Field" & Why Her Family Moved There

00:06:17 The Organization Her Grandfather Started & All Its Rules

00:12:48 How The Cult's Teachings Still Stick with Her Today & It's Effect on Her Mother

00:18:00 Michelle Talks about the Healing that She Got By Being With Her Mom at the End of Her Life

00:22:35 Michelle’s Connection With the Earth

00:25:51 CW: CA, Michelle Mentions Her Father's Abuse and How Sickness Led to Her Growing More Independent

00:29:56 Michelle Talks about Being Hospitalized and Discovering She Had an Autoimmune Disorder

00:33:12 Michelle’s Time in the Hospital & Her Education from Reading the Bible

00:39:59 The Cult's Proselyting Methods, Beliefs About Christianity, & Fundraising

00:45:30 CW: Brief Mentions of Suic*dal Thoughts, Michelle Shares the Complicated Experiences Surrounding Her First Romance

00:51:20 Michelle Shares Her First Experiences Outside the Cult & Her Life Now

00:55:44 Michelle's Final Thoughts & Linda Listen

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