What is Limerence? (Why Can't This Be Love?)

In this episode of The Tyranny of Hope, host West Breedlove delves into the fascinating world of limerence - an intense state of romantic attraction that can feel all-consuming. It's like that Van Halen song:

Whoa, here it comes
That funny feeling again
Winding me up inside
Every time we touch

Hey, I don't know
Oh, tell me where to begin
'Cause I never, ever, felt so much

And I can't recall
Any love at all
Oh, baby, this blows 'em all away

It's got what it takes
So, tell me why can't this be love?
Straight from my heart
Oh, tell me why can't this be love?

As a therapist specializing in couples counseling, trauma, and family therapy, West offers unique insights into this complex psychological phenomenon.

Key points covered in this episode:

1. Definition of Limerence:

Explore the concept first described by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, characterized by intrusive thoughts, intense longing, and mood swings based on perceived reciprocation.

2. The Science Behind Limerence:

Dive into the neurobiological underpinnings of limerence, including the roles of dopamine, serotonin, and other neurotransmitters. Learn how brain imaging studies reveal similarities between limerence and addiction.

3. Limerence vs. Love:

Understand the crucial differences between limerence and love, from duration and stability to focus and motivation. Discover why mistaking one for the other can lead to relationship challenges.

4. Impact on Relationships:

Examine how limerence affects both new and existing relationships, including its potential role in affairs and its impact on self-esteem.

5. Coping Strategies:

Learn practical strategies for managing limerence, whether you're experiencing it yourself or supporting a partner through it.

Whether you're curious about the nature of intense attraction, struggling with limerent feelings, or simply interested in the psychology of relationships, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice. Join West Breedlove in exploring the tyranny - and perhaps the gifts - of hope in romantic relationships.

Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of your own emotions and relationships, and discover how to navigate the complex waters of limerence and love.

For Further Exploration, get Tennov's book:

Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love