257: Overcoming Accidental Accomplice to Fraud | Feedback Friday

Jack Schafer (@jackschafer) is a retired FBI special agent, current assistant professor at Western Illinois University, and co-author of The Truth Detector: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide for Getting People to Reveal the Truth. [This is part one of a two-part episode. Stay tuned for part two later this week!] What We Discuss with Jack Schafer: Elicitation versus interrogation: why one is usually more effective in extracting truth than the other. How the elicitation techniques used by the FBI to uncover secrets from foreign spies can be applied to buying used cars, negotiating better salaries, and finding out if your teenager is throwing parties when you're out of town. Three friend signals we display when we want to establish rapport and trust with someone we've just met (and might be used against us by con artists and other disreputable types). How presumptive statements can be used to play upon our insecurities and get us to easily reveal truths we'd otherwise keep guarded -- and what we can do to avoid spilling the beans when they're used against us. How to use a third-party perspective to discover what people are really thinking. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/467 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

9 Feb 202149min

In order to preserve your own sanity, you cut off all contact with your covert narcissist mom a few years ago. But now that she's dying, you wonder if you should reconcile for the short time she has left -- or regret not doing so once it's too late. What's the right thing to do here? We'll tackle this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/466 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: In order to preserve your own sanity, you cut off all contact with your covert narcissist mom a few years ago. But now she's dying and you wonder if you should reconcile for the short time she has left -- or regret not doing so once it's too late. You've become a perpetual shoulder to cry on for someone who never follows your advice no matter how much time you devote to trying to help them. How do you gently quit the job of being this person's informal (and free) therapist? You've been at your current job for seven years with no advancement in your pay or position in spite of exceeding expectations and never receiving a negative performance review. Your boss promised a raise two and a half years ago, but it still hasn't surfaced. What should you do? You're 50 years old and have worked in the same industry for most of your adult life. You're interested in transitioning to a different career, but you're starting to wonder if your age is a help or a hindrance. When you show up to interviews with grey hair, does it communicate "experienced and reliable" or "old and obsolete?" Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

5 Feb 202138min

Thomas Erikson is a behavioral expert, active lecturer, and bestselling author of Surrounded by Idiots and Surrounded by Psychopaths: How to Protect Yourself from Being Manipulated and Exploited in Business. What We Discuss with Thomas Erikson: Not all narcissists are psychopaths, but all psychopaths are narcissists. So how can you identify the psychopaths in your life who don't act like the ones you see in slasher flicks and psychological thrillers? What psychopaths have to gain from manipulating and destroying other people. The insidious tactics psychopaths use to sow doubt and reap chaos in others. How you can resist these tactics before they're used to ruin your life. What to do if you suspect that you might be a psychopath. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/465 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!Thomas Erikson is a behavioral expert, active lecturer, and bestselling author of Surrounded by Idiots and Surrounded by Psychopaths: How to Protect Yourself from Being Manipulated and Exploited in Business. What We Discuss with Thomas Erikson: Not all narcissists are psychopaths, but all psychopaths are narcissists. So how can you identify the psychopaths in your life who don't act like the ones you see in slasher flicks and psychological thrillers? What psychopaths have to gain from manipulating and destroying other people. The insidious tactics psychopaths use to sow doubt and reap chaos in others. How you can resist these tactics before they're... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

4 Feb 20211h 21min

Ramit Sethi (@ramit) is the bestselling author of I Will Teach You to Be Rich: No Guilt. No Excuses. No B.S. Just a 6-Week Program That Works, and now he's applied the same no-nonsense approach to his latest program, Find Your Dream Job. What We Discuss with Ramit Sethi: Many people are underpaid, often by $10,000 per year. How can you make sure you're not one of them? What hiring managers are really looking for in job candidates, and how to refrain from disqualifying yourself before you've even applied simply because you lack a prerequisite mentioned in the listing. Throwing your resume on a stack with the rest of the candidates and hoping for the best is probably a wasted effort -- because most of the best jobs are filled through backdoor introductions, often before they're ever made public. By the time you've been granted an interview, the hiring manager doesn't want a generic rehash of your credentials -- they're more interested in knowing how well you'll fit in with the team and if you can be counted on under pressure. The three parts of the negotiation power dynamics framework that will help you maximize the outcome of your negotiations by understanding your leverage. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/464 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

2 Feb 20211h 6min

While your sister's history of bad beaus continues to sap her self-esteem and savings, her current companion's cons are preying upon your parents' provisions. What's the surest way of saying sayonara to your sister's swindling sweetie? We'll tackle this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/463 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: While your sister's history of bad beaus continues to sap her self-esteem and savings, her current companion's cons are preying upon your parents' provisions. What's the surest way of saying sayonara to your sister's swindling sweetie? As a young, caucasian, cisgender, heterosexual, and relatively fit male with no real health issues (or even allergies), you recognize your privilege and genetic luck. How do you most responsibly support those who are less privileged as an ally who amplifies their messages, educates yourself, and stays mindful of your impact on others? You're teaching at a run-down school where a gaslighting principal is in charge. You love your underserved students and don't want to abandon them, but you're finding the work environment too toxic to be sustainable for your sanity. What are your best options here? You’ve been introducing people to each other when you've thought the connection would be mutually beneficial, but these introductions have gone awry more often than not. What's our advice for preventing this from happening (or mitigating its damage to your reputation when it does)? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

29 Jan 202149min

Linda Carroll (@Lovecycleslinda) is a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship sage, and author of Love Skills: The Keys to Unlocking Lasting, Wholehearted Love and Love Cycles: The Five Essential Stages of Lasting Love. What We Discuss with Linda Carroll: Love is a feeling that comes and goes, but loving is a skill set you can improve with practice. Why most arguments are not really about what you think you're fighting about. Is communication in relationships overrated? What the Woodpecker Syndrome is and how to avoid it. "You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else" and other cultural stereotypes and clichés about relationships that are worth less than the Hallmark cards they were printed on.  Why so many of us get locked into repeating relationship patterns that ultimately end messily. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/462 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28 Jan 202149min

Erik Vance (@erikvance) is an award-winning science journalist and author of Suggestible You: The Curious Science of Your Brain's Ability to Deceive, Transform, and Heal. What We Discuss with Erik Vance: How the human tendency for patternicity can be used to inoculate ourselves against pain, but also make us believe we've been abducted by space aliens. The placebo effect vs. the nocebo effect. The power of false memories and the "Satanic Panic" phenomenon of the 1980s. How our brains twist reality to match expectations, and how it fits into our evolutionary model for survival. Why Erik paid a Mexico City witch doctor to curse him -- for science! And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/461 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

26 Jan 20211h 9min

When your adopted child turned 18, he immediately moved out without warning and wrote you a letter saying he left "for mental health reasons" -- and not to contact him. You're hurt, disappointed, and feel cut off; is there any way to respect his wishes while getting some clarity on why this happened and letting him know you're still unconditionally there for him? We'll tackle this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/460 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Wisdom from Charlie Munger: Take a simple idea and take it seriously. When your adopted child turned 18, he immediately moved out and wrote you a letter saying he left "for mental health reasons" -- and not to contact him. You're hurt, disappointed, and feel cut off; is there any way to respect his wishes while getting some clarity on why this happened? You're a middle schooler who doesn't thrive with the lessened engagement of online courses, but you understandably don't feel safe going to the classroom in the middle of a pandemic. You've considered dropping out and attending a community college that offers courses for all ages and has much safer COVID-19 protocols, but you're not sure it's the right move. What would we do in your shoes? You graduated law school to become a world-changing lawyer, but you've been diagnosed with a debilitating illness that makes this a difficult proposition now. You know there are positions with a work-life balance that would be more accommodating to your condition, but they're not generally world-changing. Where should you go from here? A shady landlord is trying to sucker you into paying two months' rent against the terms of your very explicit lease, and it's having an adverse effect on your credit score. How can you legally get this creep off your back? [Thanks once again to our defense attorney friend Corbin Payne for helping us with this one!] You and your fiancee want your relationship to be focused on you, not the image of the relationship you convey online. But how do you balance sharing life updates with your network to provide an engagement point for weak or dormant ties (as discussed in our free Six-Minute Networking course)? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Jan 202144min