271: Ryan Holiday | Stillness Is the Key

You've got two lovely kids, and you're perfectly content to stop there, but your spouse has other plans. How do you break the news you're not of like mind to have a third? We'll try to tackle this and more on the latest Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/292. On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Your spouse has been pushing for a third child, but you figure two is enough. Is there a way to find common ground? Your sibling and their fiance have decided to get married on one of the few nights you can't get out of work. To whom do you owe your loyalty? Your mother stopped making payments on a parent loan taken out for your education, and now you're stuck with $28,000 in interest. What happens next? You accidentally fell asleep on the job, and if you don't adjust your time card, no one else would be the wiser. What should you do? Retiring from a professional athletic career, you wonder if your BA in economics will cut it for your next career move, or if you should go back to school? Your friend is publishing articles about his industry in order to raise his profile at work. But how do you tactfully suggest that his writing is sorely in need of editing? Life Pro Tip: If you're on a Mac, use Bartender, Endurance, FruitJuice, and iStat Menus. Recommendation of the Week: Broken Quick shout outs to Melissa Kellogg and Jon Bjork! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, join his podcasting club, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

20 Dec 201945min

When a family inheritance is split between two siblings, only one of them is given control over how the money is spent due to the other's penchant for get-rich-quick scams and bad investments. What can the family do to close the rift this power dynamic is causing while ensuring half of the inheritance isn't wasted on a pyramid scheme? This and more on the latest Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/290. On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Interested in doing some prison time with Jordan next February? It's filling up fast; reach out to prison@jordanharbinger.com for details! Suggestions are in for how we should refer to our listener base! How can you keep your relative from wasting his inheritance on a pyramid scheme? Your current employer is ghosting your requests for owed vacation days and paperwork needed to transfer to a new job. How should you proceed? How can you renegotiate for a better salary when you gladly accepted an offer without negotiating in the first place? As a healthcare worker who sees death more often than most, how can you healthily deal with the spiritual void you feel thanks to a bad relationship with organized religion? When is it okay to stop banging your head against the system and just relax? What should you make of it when your wife of almost a decade out of the blue suggests that she wants you to get a girlfriend? How do you find a trustworthy guardian or fiduciary for the kids when the parents pass? [Thanks to Corbin Payne, Esq. for helping with this one!] You're a female personal trainer with a dream to help gamers -- who are predominantly male -- live healthier lifestyles. How can you assure your husband of your safety? Life Pro Tip: When you replace "Why is this happening to me?" with "What do I need to do now?" everything shifts. Action ends suffering. Recommendation of the Week: Tell Me Who I Am Quick shout outs to Dave Olverson and Melody Wilding for recommending FollowUpThen -- and James Gibbins for recommending Tinyblu -- to the person who asked for a free CRM in See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

13 Dec 201951min

Akshay Nanavati (@fearvanalife) is a former Marine who has survived PTSD, depression, alcoholism, and suicidal ideation to build a global business, run ultramarathons, and explore the world's most hostile environments. He is also the author of Fearvana: The Revolutionary Science of How to Turn Fear into Health, Wealth and Happiness. What We Discuss with Akshay Nanavati: What going on a seven-day retreat in total darkness and isolation taught Akshay about himself that transcended rationality and the reality of his senses. Why Akshay believes that the single greatest barrier standing in the way of our well-being is our negative relationship to suffering -- such as the way we demonize fear, stress, and anxiety. What does Akshay mean when he recommends finding "the worthy struggle" that will make our suffering meaningful? Stillness accompanied by consciousness and intention versus doing nothing, and what we risk by being afraid to confront what lurks in the space of our deepest darkness. Why Akshay considers the prevailing idea in the self-help world of "I am enough" to be nonsense, why we are not enough, and -- most important -- why that's not a bad thing. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/289 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

12 Dec 20191h 4min

Erik Weihenmayer (@ErikWeihenmayer) has kayaked the Grand Canyon and climbed Mount Everest -- blind. He is the author of Touch the Top of the World and co-author of No Barriers and The Adversity Advantage. What We Discuss with Erik Weihenmayer: How challenges unite us as human beings -- no matter our hardships or handicaps. Why losing his sight as a teenager didn't discourage Erik from excelling beyond the capacity of the world's most accomplished extreme athletes. How Erik embraces a "no barriers" philosophy to guide and lift others -- even when their own cultures seek to keep them down. Why Erik's not "the blind climber," but a climber who happens to be blind -- and why this makes all the difference. The instincts, senses, and technology that allow Erik to navigate around his dangerous terrains of choice without sight. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/288 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

10 Dec 20191h 5min

You find criticism somewhat punishing rather than productive -- especially when it's given by people you love. So how can you stop taking feedback so personally? We'll explore this and more on the latest Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/287 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: How should we refer to our listener base? Is there a reason to share your salary with anyone else? Is it your imagination that there's tension between you and the only other woman in the office? As a business owner, how should you respond to competition fishing for pricing? How do you find hangout buddies? What can you do to help your boss step up as the leader you need him or her to be? Are extremely confident people drawn to jobs like teaching? Or is it the job that brings out the best in people? How do you keep contacts in your network from going cold? How should you stop taking feedback so personally -- especially when it's given by the people you love? Life Pro Tip: Compliment people on what you want them to be, even if they may not live up to it yet. Because when people hear themselves referred to in a certain way, they'll be motivated to act more that way. Recommendation of the Week: Bikram: Yogi, Guru, Predator (And advice: Don't believe everything you see in any documentary. Always do some follow-up research before treating it as gospel!) Interested in doing some prison time with Jordan this February? It's filling up fast; reach out to prison@jordanharbinger.com for details! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, join his podcasting club, and check out... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

6 Dec 201947min

Jack Barsky (@DeepCoverBarsky) joins us to discuss his book Deep Undercover: My Secret Life and Tangled Allegiances as a KGB Spy in America. This is part two of a two-part episode; part one can be found here! What We Discuss with Jack Barsky: We continue Jack Barsky's story that began in episode 285. Make sure you start there! How Jack handled a double life -- complete with two families. Why the once-powerful allure of Soviet-style communism began to wane over time for Jack. Why Jack decided to stay in the United States and become a "real" American. How Jack shook his KGB handlers. And so much more... And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/286 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

5 Dec 201942min

Jack Barsky (@DeepCoverBarsky) joins us to discuss his book Deep Undercover: My Secret Life and Tangled Allegiances as a KGB Spy in America. This is part one of a two-part episode; part two airs later this week! What We Discuss with Jack Barsky: What Jack Barsky's childhood was like in postwar East Germany. The stickiness of Soviet-style communist ideology and how it appealed to young people on Jack's side of the Iron Curtain. How spies were recruited and trained during the Cold War. What skills Jack used to assimilate seamlessly into American culture. Why caution is a spy's best friend; paranoia is his enemy. And so much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/285 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

3 Dec 201945min

While doing a little Facebook stalking recently, you noticed that photos of your wife's ex-boyfriend's youngest look suspiciously like your own youngest. You're thinking about discreetly having your kid take a paternity test, but you're honestly not sure what you'd do if the results confirmed your suspicions. So what should you do? We'll try to help you with this and more on the latest Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/284. On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Should you secretly undertake a paternity test on your 11-year old? You're a cybersecurity student stuck in a career ditch. How do you dig yourself out? You struggle with stammering. What can you do to find your way through? How do you sell ideas without getting them stolen? What does "I'm here if you need anything" actually mean, and how far can you take it? Threatened by hackers, you wonder: where do old passwords go to die? Should you report your ex for a visa breach that could get them deported? How can you get out of spending Thanksgiving with your fiance's family for for much needed "me" time? Life Pro Tip: Next commute, take time to listen to your car without the radio on. Your ears may pick up on sounds you wouldn't otherwise notice that indicate it's time to take it to the shop. Recommendation of the Week: Hail Satan? A quick shout out to Kay for recommending Bikram: Yogi, Guru, Predator on Netflix! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, join his podcasting club, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! On...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

29 Nov 201943min