086 – Second Time

As an interracial adoptee and musical artist, Ferera grew up feeling different from her adopted family. When her adoption was tearfully confirmed by her Mom, it created doubt within her about whether it was okay to be different? Ferera met her birth mother, and the woman’s twin sister, so their reunion was a shared experience that somewhat fractured the intimate connection Ferera would have liked to have developed. She’s in touch with her birth father, but they’ve never met b/c he lives in the Philipines.

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Read Full TranscriptFerera: 00:01 She said that I was making it all about me and I do believe that she was saying that out of her own pain. For an adoptee. It’s like, well, I didn’t choose this. I didn’t ever choose to be adopted. I didn’t choose for me to be in this position and so I wanted to work it out. I really did and so when I reached out to her and tried to talk about it, I suggested let’s get on the phone because emails are just, things can get misconstrued, but I never did hear back from her again.

Voices: 00:34 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

New Speaker: 00:47 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Ferera. She called me from Austin, Texas as an interracial adoptee and musical artists for rare, grew up feeling different from her adopted family. When her adoption was confirmed by her mother, it created doubt within herself about whether it was okay to be different Ferera met her birth mother and the woman’s twin sister. So their reunion was a shared experience that somewhat fractured the intimate connection Ferera would have liked to have developed. She’s in touch with her birth father but they’ve never met because he lives overseas. This is Ferera journey.

Damon: 01:33 Ferera originally from Houston. She said the first time she ever felt different from her family was around three years old since those early days Ferera has gotten her DNA test done. So she can tell you more clearly now what her heritage is. But at first all she could tell you is

Ferera: 01:49 I am a transracial adoptee. And so, um, I grew up in, um, a Chinese family and um, I’m Filipino but there, you know, there’s a big difference so. I think many people don’t realize that there is such a big difference between the two, but there is culturally and all these things. But basically growing up we didn’t really talk about it. I wasn’t really told that I was adopted until I was, um, uh, 10 years old. And that’s only because I asked, because I look completely different from my family, but I always felt like I inherently knew that I was adopted because, you know, I think the majority of us, you know, at least the other adoptees that I’ve spoken to have said like a, yeah, I think I always knew, I mean, even the ones that aren’t transracially adopted. So yeah, I asked my mom if I was at, if I was born from her, those were the words I used. I think that was like six or seven. I forgot how old. The first time I asked her was, she kind of didn’t answer me directly the first time she just said, well, you know, no matter if you’re born, if I gave birth, she or not, I, we love you just the same. And so I thought that was a little bit interesting, but I like, I, like I said, I knew I was not of the same, you know, from that family.

Damon: 03:11 So let me pause you for a quick second. So when you first asked this question, can you remember at all how you felt? It’s, it’s an interesting thing for you to say that you felt different at six and I wonder if to you could just explain a little bit about how you look different from your family because it, when I think of transracial adoptees of course I think very classically have sort of a black white mixed or something like that. Very stark differences. So I wonder if you could help me understand how you could see the differences so easily

Ferera: 03:45 more brown than they are. Um, I’m Spanish as far as the Trans racial features, the physical features. So I, um, I’ve done the 23 and me and all of that, but I, I’m more brown than they are. Um, I’m Spanish and a mix of, there’s like Portuguese, Spanish, European and Polynesian. And so it’s like I look very island slash Spanish fee and then they look very tinies. And so there’s a different skin tone, different bone structure, different build. It was like a different everything.

Damon: 04:22 Yeah. Ferera had one sister who was biological to their parents for understanding is she was adopted because initially her parents didn’t think they could conceive a child. But of course immediately after...