1198: Caroline Fleck | Harnessing Validation to Deepen Human Connection

Your friend's suicide leaves you questioning their psychiatric care. Is someone liable, or does the system just fail sometimes? Welcome to Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Your best friend since middle school took their own life while under psychiatric care, and you've discovered concerning details about their treatment, including billing after death and continued prescriptions despite missed check-ins. With their family reluctant to pursue legal action, how can you channel your grief and anger into meaningful change? As a successful, independent woman in your 30s with no desire to have children, you're questioning whether you actually want a relationship. Dating apps leave you anxious and disinterested, yet something keeps pulling you back. Is your conflict avoidance masking deeper relationship fears? You run a music school and you've just learned that one of your most engaging teachers, who mentors impressionable students aged 8-14, believes in the flat Earth theory and other conspiracies. Do you let this talented instructor go now, or wait to see if their objectionable beliefs affect their teaching? You've reconnected with a high school friend and started dating, but his divorce decree prevents new partners from meeting his children for six months. You want to respect boundaries but feel this rule is excessive. Is there a reasonable way to move past this awkward stage sooner rather than later? [Thanks again to attorney Corbin Payne for helping us answer this one!]  Recommendation of the Week: Homemade matcha lattes. Episode 924: Chris DeArmitt | Rethinking Plastic’s Environmental Impact was controversial (as expected). Listeners wrote in with questions and criticisms about Chris' industry ties and scientific claims — and he was kind enough to answer all of them! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi. Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1069 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

25 Okt 20241h 4min

AI is reshaping society, challenging democracy, and raising ethical concerns. Nexus author Yuval Noah Harari explains its risks and potential solutions. What We Discuss with Yuval Noah Harari: Stories and shared beliefs are fundamental to human cooperation and society, from money to religion to nations. These "fictions" enable large-scale collaboration. Populism erodes trust in institutions and promotes a cynical view that all human relations are power struggles, paving the way for authoritarian rule. AI is not just a tool but an agent that can make independent decisions, potentially surpassing human capabilities in many areas, which raises concerns about control and understanding. The rise of AI and extensive data collection enables unprecedented surveillance and control, as seen in social credit systems and automated law enforcement. We can shape the future of AI by creating living institutions to monitor its development, implementing regulations to hold companies accountable, and ensuring transparency in AI interactions. By focusing on solving the right problems and establishing trust between humans, we can work toward a more positive future with AI. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1068 If you love listening to this show as much as we love making it, would you please peruse and reply to our Membership Survey here? And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom! Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Okt 20241h 17min

On Skeptical Sunday, Jessica Wynn schools us in higher education's flaws — privilege, rankings, debt, and inequity — and examines ways to fix them. On This Week's Skeptical Sunday: Higher education in the United States has a long history of privilege and exclusivity, with prestigious institutions reinforcing social and economic disparities. College rankings, such as those by US News & World Report, have a significant influence on the perception of educational quality but often fail to measure the actual academic experience. The cost of higher education has increased dramatically, outpacing inflation and creating substantial student loan debt, which raises questions about the return on investment (ROI) for many students. Standardized tests like the SAT and ACT, as well as admissions processes, tend to favor wealthier students, perpetuating inequalities in access to higher education. There is potential for positive change in higher education through innovative models, technology integration, and alternative credentialing systems. By embracing new approaches to learning and assessment, we can work toward a more accessible, diverse, and effective educational system that better serves students and employers in the 21st century. Connect with Jordan on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. If you have something you'd like us to tackle here on Skeptical Sunday, drop Jordan a line at jordan@jordanharbinger.com and let him know! Connect with Jessica Wynn and subscribe to her newsletter: Between the Lines! Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1067 If you love listening to this show as much as we love making it, would you please peruse and reply to our Membership Survey here? And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals Sign up for See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

20 Okt 20241h 8min

Your boyfriend faces serious allegations from his past. You want to trust him, but doubts linger. How do you uncover the truth? Welcome to Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: You're dating a man whose ex-girlfriend accused him of molesting her son and his own children. He claims innocence, but you're torn between trusting him and your gut feelings. What steps can you take to uncover the truth while maintaining your integrity and safety? Your father, recently single and grieving, is asking to move into your new home. You and your partner want your own space, but you feel guilty given all your father has done for you. How do you balance family obligations with your own needs? You were recruited into what seemed like a promising business opportunity, only to discover it was an MLM scheme. The tactics used were manipulative and cult-like. What red flags did you encounter, and how did you respond? Your father is nearing the end of his life, leaving behind an inheritance. Your mother suggests giving up your share for your struggling siblings. You're torn between fairness and helping family. How do you decide what's right? Recommendation of the Week: Anker Prime Power Bank You're interested in starting therapy but unsure about what "processing emotions" actually entails. You're also concerned about the cost. How can you make the most of therapy and find affordable options? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi. Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1066 If you love listening to this show as much as we love making it, would you please peruse and reply to our Membership Survey here? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

18 Okt 20241h 14min

Spycraft utilizes psychology more than gadgets. Ex-CIA officer Andrew Bustamante reveals the human side of intelligence gathering and deception. [Pt. 2/2 — find Pt. 1 here!] What We Discuss with Andrew Bustamante: The psychology of espionage and the process of recruiting assets, with an emphasis on the importance of building relationships and trust. The CIA uses a process called SADRAT (Spot, Assess, Develop, Recruit, Handle, and Terminate) to develop intelligence sources, which is similar to sales techniques and relationship building. The concept of public, private, and secret lives, highlighting how understanding and accessing someone's secret life is crucial for intelligence work. The strengths and operational styles of the CIA, Russia's SVR, Israel's Mossad, and China's MSS. Anxiety, often viewed negatively in society, can be a valuable asset in intelligence work and other high-performance fields. By reframing anxiety as a potential superpower, individuals can harness its benefits to drive success in their personal and professional lives. And much more — be sure to check out part one of this conversation here if you haven’t already! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1065 If you love listening to this show as much as we love making it, would you please peruse and reply to our Membership Survey here? And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom! Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

17 Okt 20241h 31min

Spycraft utilizes psychology more than gadgets. Ex-CIA officer Andrew Bustamante reveals the human side of intelligence gathering and deception. [Pt. 1/2] What We Discuss with Andrew Bustamante: After becoming the youngest US Air Force Officer in history to command 200 nuclear ICBMs from an underground bunker and spending seven years in the CIA, Everyday Spy founder Andrew Bustamante gives us an inside look into the recruitment and training process for CIA officers. The CIA uses personality assessments and carefully constructed team dynamics to build high-performance teams, often pairing people who may not naturally get along to create productive conflict. Lie detection through visual cues like micro-expressions is largely ineffective outside of controlled interrogation settings. More reliable methods involve establishing baselines and asking specific types of questions. Effective lying requires preplanning and rehearsal to align the rational and emotional parts of the brain. Spontaneous lying is much riskier and easier to detect. Understanding the RICE framework (Reward, Ideology, Coercion, Ego) can help you better motivate yourself and others in positive ways. This powerful tool for influencing behavior ethically will be explored further in part two later this week. And much more — be sure to check out part two of this conversation later this week! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1064 If you love listening to this show as much as we love making it, would you please peruse and reply to our Membership Survey here? And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom! Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Okt 20241h 21min

Constant belittling and a trip to Ukraine: The perks of working for your father-in-law. How do you escape the family business? Welcome to Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: You're working for your father-in-law's company abroad, but his constant belitting has pushed you to your limits. After he sent you on a risky trip to war-torn Ukraine that ultimately didn't benefit the business (and blamed you for the non-results), you're ready to bow out and make a go of it on your own. But how? Your father recently passed away in a plane crash, and you're struggling to support your grieving mother while also maintaining boundaries. How can you balance being there for her emotionally while also respecting your own needs and responsibilities? You're concerned about your 45-year-old husband's increasing memory lapses, which go beyond typical forgetfulness. As he won't acknowledge the problem, how can you convince him to seek medical attention without causing more tension? An unexpected turn of events has brought your troubled teenage nephew into your child-free home. You want to help, but the sudden responsibility is overwhelming. How can you provide stability for him while preserving your own lifestyle and boundaries? Recommendation of the Week: When he's feeling dapper, Gabe likes to shelter his dome with hats from SCALA. After a painful breakup with your high school sweetheart due to infidelity, you're struggling to re-enter the dating world. As a busy medical student, you're hesitant to make yourself vulnurable to potential hurt again. How can you overcome these fears and open your heart to new possibilities? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi. Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1063 If you love listening to this show as much as we love making it, would you please...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

11 Okt 20241h 3min

Young men today face a crisis of mental health and social connection. BoyMom author Ruth Whippman is here to explore causes and potential solutions. What We Discuss with Ruth Whippman: Boys in the West are going through a crisis, facing higher rates of suicide, mental health problems, loneliness, and academic underachievement compared to girls. Society sends conflicting messages to boys about masculinity, telling them to be dominant and make the first move, while also cautioning them not to overstep or be seen as creepy. This leads many boys to avoid relationships altogether. Boys receive less emotional nurturing and communication from parents compared to girls, which contributes to gaps in social and emotional skills as they grow older. The "incel" movement and extreme ideologies like those of Andrew Tate are symptoms of broader issues with how society socializes boys and sets unrealistic standards of masculinity. Parents and educators can help by providing boys with more emotional nurturing, teaching social-emotional skills, exposing them to diverse role models, and creating spaces for them to express themselves. With the right support, boys can develop into emotionally intelligent, well-adjusted men capable of forming deep connections. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1062 If you love listening to this show as much as we love making it, would you please peruse and reply to our Membership Survey here? And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally! This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom! Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

10 Okt 20241h 12min