How Gentle Touch Builds Connection

Research shows that simple practices such as self-hugs, soothing touch, and hand-to-heart can calm the nervous system, supporting caregivers and the children in their care.

Summary: From parents to teachers, caregiving can be overwhelming and exhausting. This episode of The Science of Happiness dives into simple touch-based strategies that promote calm, reduce stress, and foster stronger connections. Researchers share how even brief moments of self-soothing or supportive touch can improve mental and physical health for caregivers and children.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Sit or stand comfortably and take a moment to notice your body. Soften your jaw and shoulders. If it feels safe, close your eyes or lower your gaze.
2. Place one hand on your belly, both hands over your heart, or give yourself a self-hug— whatever feels most comfortable and natural. Let the weight of your hands feel steady and supportive.
3. Take a slow inhale through your nose and a longer exhale through your mouth.
4. Silently repeat a kind phrase to yourself, like “How can I be a friend to myself today?” and “It’s okay to make mistakes.”
5. Feel the warmth and weight of your hands. On each exhale, invite a little ease into your face, shoulders, belly, and back. Notice any tiny shift toward calm.
6. Wrap your arms around your torso and apply comfortable pressure, finishing with a gentle self-hug before returning to your day.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Guests:

THERESA ALEXANDER is a pre-K teacher based in Arlington, Virginia, with nearly 20 years of teaching experience. She’s also a new mother.

MICHAEL BANISSY is a psychology professor at University of Bristol and the author of “Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Well-Being.”

Learn more about Michael here: https://www.banissy.com/

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

Caring for Caregivers Series: https://tinyurl.com/4k2hv47j

Related Happiness Breaks:

The Healing Power of Your Own Touch: https://tinyurl.com/y4ze59h8

Our Caring for Caregivers series is supported by the Van Leer Foundation, an independent Dutch organization working globally to foster inclusive societies where all children and communities can flourish.

To discover more insights from Van Leer Foundation and others on this topic, visit Early Childhood Matters, the leading platform for advancing topics on early childhood development and connecting diverse voices and ideas across disciplines that support the wellbeing of babies, toddlers and caregivers around the globe.

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

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Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/4ppzs8kw