E225: The Truth About Sex and Aging: Menopause, Erectile Dysfunction, and Libido
Pillow Talks11 Sep 2025

E225: The Truth About Sex and Aging: Menopause, Erectile Dysfunction, and Libido

Aging is inevitable. But letting your sex life fade away? Nope. This week, we’re tackling one of our most requested topics ever: sex and aging. We’re answering your biggest questions about how intimacy shifts as the years go by: from libido changes, to navigating menopause, to keeping things hot. 💛 In this episode, we cover: How old is too old to have sex (spoiler: never) What to do if your libido and your partner’s don’t line up anymore Navigating perimenopause and helping your partner understand it’s not about them Feeling sexy in a body that doesn’t look like it did at 20 How to manage vaginal dryness, erectile changes, and shifting anatomy Creative ways to keep intimacy exciting even when it feels like you’ve “done it all” And you’ll also hear sweet (and funny) messages from listeners who say that sex in midlife and beyond is actually the best sex they’ve ever had. You’ll also hear some of our favorite messages from listeners in their 40s, 50s, 60s (and beyond!) about why sex actually gets freer, hotter, and more confident with age. Because here’s the thing: aging is inevitable. But a boring sex life? That’s optional. ✨ Ready to spice things up at any age? Our Ultimate Sex Guide is your roadmap to better intimacy. Inside, you’ll find: 42 step-by-step positions with illustrations, tips, and playful modifications A workbook + printable cards to track your favorites (and keep things exciting) Expert tips and troubleshooting for when sex doesn’t go as planned An audio version so you can get quick, shame-free guidance anytime Whether you’re looking for fresh inspiration or new ways to connect, The Ultimate Sex Guide will help you discover just how good sex can get! Check it out here 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/ultimate Links & Resources Get our sex positions playbook here 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/ultimate E215 Mismatched Sex Drive Types: The #1 Reason Couples Struggle With Desire 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/episode215 E121 When She Wants It More: Navigating Mismatched Libidos When The Woman Has A Higher Drive 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/episode121 🎧 Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns. Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods! Timestamps 00:00 – Intro 03:38 – How old is too old to have sex? 11:12 – How does libido change with age? 16:22 – When does a drop in libido become a health concern? 19:18 – Navigating perimenopause with your partner 33:31 – Body image and aging 39:34 – Best sex positions for older couples 44:34 – Vaginal dryness and aging 46:18 – Does your labia shrink or change with age? 49:52 – How to keep your sex life exciting as you get older 54:03 – Trouble staying hard as you age ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Hungryroot. Use code pillow to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life➡︎https://Hungryroot.com/pillow 👏Thanks Chewy. Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. You can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping!➡︎https://chewpanions.chewy.com/@vanessandxander 👏Thanks Cure. Use code PILLOW for 20% off your first order! ➡︎https://curehydration.com/pillow 👏Thanks MasterClass. Get an additional 15% off any annual membership ➡︎https://masterclass.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Avsnitt(286)

E286 SHOWNOTES: Am I the Asshole? Trading Sex For Chores & Snooping On My Wife

E286 SHOWNOTES: Am I the Asshole? Trading Sex For Chores & Snooping On My Wife

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E285: Ask a Sex Therapist: Sore Jaws, Awkward Eye Contact & Aging Down There

E285: Ask a Sex Therapist: Sore Jaws, Awkward Eye Contact & Aging Down There

It's time for another round of Ask A Sex Therapist, where we answer your most personal, awkward, and downright fascinating questions about sex and relationships! In this episode, we're talking abou...

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E284: Your Wildest Kink & Fantasy Questions… Answered!

E284: Your Wildest Kink & Fantasy Questions… Answered!

Ever wondered why you have a certain kink? Or if it’s OK to fantasize about someone else during sex? Or maybe you’ve been curious about cuckolding, breeding kinks, or pegging… but didn’t know who to a...

29 Okt 1h

E283: Reverse Cowgirl: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques for Maximum Pleasure

E283: Reverse Cowgirl: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques for Maximum Pleasure

Ready to turn things around in the bedroom? We're talking reverse cowgirl, and trust us, there's a LOT more to this position than simply facing the other direction. Where do your legs go? How do you...

22 Okt 54min

E282: Is This Normal? He Made AI Sex Videos of Us, and I Have Questions

E282: Is This Normal? He Made AI Sex Videos of Us, and I Have Questions

Your husband creates AI videos of the two of you having sex. You're only having sex four times a year. Or you tried a new position once, hated it, and have absolutely no interest in giving it another ...

15 Okt 54min

E281: Am I the Asshole? Kissing After Oral, Weight Gain, and Bad Sex

E281: Am I the Asshole? Kissing After Oral, Weight Gain, and Bad Sex

Would you kiss your partner after they went down on you? What would you do if your partner wasn't enjoying the sex you were having? And how would you handle it if weight gain started affecting your ph...

8 Okt 1h

E280: The Initiation Mistakes You Don’t Even Realize You’re Making

E280: The Initiation Mistakes You Don’t Even Realize You’re Making

Initiating sex in your relationship should feel exciting, not frustrating. But for most couples, it’s anything but smooth. Whether you're feeling stuck, rejected, or just plain awkward when it come...

1 Okt 47min

E279: Ask a Sex Therapist: Kink Icks, Spicy Pics, and Vanilla Sex

E279: Ask a Sex Therapist: Kink Icks, Spicy Pics, and Vanilla Sex

Would you tell your partner if their kink gave you the ick? What if their foreplay technique wasn't quite doing it for you? And is it normal for sex to be just okay most of the time? Oh, we've got so...

24 Sep 1h 1min

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