TU102: Finding Neurological Safety through Relationships, with Guest Bonnie Badenoch (Replay)
The Power of Co-Regulation Explore the myth of self-regulation, the natural neurobiology of co-regulation and it’s capacity to engage safety and heal trauma. Learn about using interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) and Polyvagal Theory to establish safety and security in therapy and in relationships. Therapist Uncensored co-host Sue Marriott LCSW CGP talks with author and therapist Bonnie Badenoch about the concept of using safety to reshape your neural landscape through authentic relationships. Badenoch guides us through her progression of building a bridge between science and practice to cultivate the best therapeutic mind. You’ll learn how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system. Also, special hats off to Steve Porges and polyvagal theory. 0:00-30:00 What creates safety? How do our internal systems want us to be received? Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle. Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Polyvagal theory and Steve Porges. How can we explore the relationship between safety and curiosity and best use the language of “safety,” versus “comfort” and “discomfort”, especially towards the beginning of therapy and in new relationships? Badenoch contends that there’s no such thing as a maladaptive experience; that humans are always adaptive and require co-regulation. What’s the difference between co-regulation and auto-regulation? Is there a “myth” of self-regulation? Discussion of ideal parent figure protocol. Badenoch explores the connection between co-regulation, neural circuitry and forging relationships in your life. 30:00-60:00 Social Baseline Theory is what happens to our perceptions when someone we trust is with us. The difficulty and pain of tasks is always reduced when we’re with a trusted beloved and this relaxes our amygdala response. Badenoch walks us through her experience of feeling safe during and between client sessions. It’s key to have mutual, caring, receptive relationships with people who are willing to listen rather than jump in and try to offer advice. Young therapists. Everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have in their neural make up but how can we embody a therapeutic presence in the world through compassion or a “happy humility”? Resources: A Symphony of Gifts From Relational Neuroscience (1) Excellent PDF from Bonnie Badenoch Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology [2008] Badenoch The Brain-Savvy Therapist’s Workbook [2011] Badenoch The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships [2017] Badenoch The Heart of Trauma Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships by Steve Porges! For our listeners! Our long-awaited Advanced Course is launching soon! Purchase today for the lowest price possible. Pre-sale pricing ends September 18. CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE Join Us On Patreon For as little as $5 a month you can join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds to gain private, more in-depth episodes AND to support production of this podcast to provide access to the science of relationships across the globe. YES SIGN ME UP FOR PATREON, OR FIND OUT MORE, click here! THANK YOU to all of our current Patrons!! Tweet
1 Aug 201950min
TU101: Treating Attachment Disruptions in Adults With David Elliott (Replay)
We knew we had to interview Dr. Elliott upon finding his book, Attachment Disturbances in Adults, Treatment for Comprehensive Repair(2016). It immediately became Sue’s current favorite read and that is saying a lot! We cover quite a lot in this podcast, especially about treatment, but if that still isn’t enough, these show notes are PACKED with PDF’s of great material offered by Dr. Elliott! Below you will find 4 full PDF handouts about the salient ideas of their synthesis of treatment for adults with attachment disruptions. In today’s episode you will hear about why attachment matters, background thoughts on insecurity and prevalence, brand new (to the US) and updated attachment research and then we mostly focus on how to apply all this knowledge with clients with attachment issues, and ourselves. Dr. Elliott introduces our audience to the 3 Pillars of Comprehensive Treatment: Ideal Parent Protocol, Metacognition and Fostering Collaborative Capacity. While he touches on them all, please download the 4 PDF attachments provided below, and start by reviewing the Overview. If for any reason you have trouble getting them, contact us and we will shoot them over to you! Dr David Elliott’s Bio: Dr. Elliott received his Ph.D. in Psychology in 1989 from Harvard University. His clinical training while at Harvard included externships at the Tufts University Counseling Center, the Outpatient Psychiatry Clinic of St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center in Brighton, Massachusetts, and a clinical psychology internship at McLean Hospital, the psychiatric teaching hospital of Harvard Medical School. He also completed a post-doctoral fellowship at McLean Hospital, where he worked on the Adolescent and Family Treatment Unit and at the hospital’s mental health outpatient clinic. He was licensed as a Psychologist in Massachusetts in 1990, and in Rhode Island in 1993. Recognizing from an early age that there are many dimensions to human experience, any and all of which can contribute to well-being or to difficulty, Dr. Elliott has maintained a commitment to learning and understanding the whole range of human possibility — from the deepest confusions and struggles of psychosis, to the patterns of personality that create personal and relational conflicts, to the development of the self in ways that promote both independence and intimacy, and to higher levels of growth that allow for flourishing and even a recognition of oneself as beyond the limits of the personal self. Four PDFs Overview of the Three Pillars Model of Attachment Treatment (Brown & Elliott, 2016) The Five Primary Conditions that Promote Secure Attachment (Brown & Elliott, 2016) Levels of Metacognitive Skills (Brown & Elliott, 2016) Fostering Collaborative Capacity and Behavior (Brown & Elliott, 2016) Additional resources for this episode: Daniel Brown, co-author of Attachment Disturbances in Adults This is his current website, which focuses on his meditation and spiritual development activities. Attachment Disturbances in Adults Treatment for Comprehensive Repair (2016) Daniel Brown andDavid Elliott Clinical Application of the Adult Attachment Interview Edited by Howard Steele and Mariam Steele Our favorite clinical reference for those that want to learn much more deeply about using the AAI to treat attachment and learn about its usefulness with various populations. Video of Strange Situation to familiarize yourself with Mary Ainsworth and later Mary Main’s phenomenal work. These and other resources have been collected for you on our Resources page! If you appreciate this work you can help it continue by becoming a Patron – ie. a super fan, or what we call Neuronerds. Get access to a private community, direct access to us and more content Click here to sign up for as little as $5 a month. You can also help us by subscribing on Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify or Podbean to name a few and by leaving a review so others can discover this cool science. Remember, sharing is caring! Tweet
14 Juli 201949min
TU100: Reflections and Favorites From 100 Episodes
100 Episodes and Going Strong! A Review of Our Most Popular and Referenced Episodes Tune in for a review of our listener’s favorite episodes and back stories about the evolution of Therapist Uncensored with co-hosts Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott. This is a show hosted by 2 therapists who share the most usable science on attachment relationships, psychotherapy, and trauma. It combines both host lead conversations and interviews with top experts in their respective fields – neuroscientists, therapists, researchers, musicians, pop-culture celebrities, and so on – that share their wisdom about relationships. Today we celebrate starting with colleague Patty Olwell, and evolving everything from our messaging, our website, our audio and editing, and our co-host relationship. This is the last show of Season 3, BUT we will be back with new shows by early September. In the meantime, we will be re-playing some of these favorites. We look forward to our next season of deepening our conversations on attachment, neuroscience, polyvagal theory, depth psychotherapy, sexuality, and more! Most Popular Episodes By Everyone, Including Us! Known as “the bundle” of attachment, these episodes summarize the attachment spectrum and have building security at their core. They are, by far, the most referenced, reviewed, and appreciated! Episode 59: Dismissing/Avoidant attachment. Are you cool or just cut off? Episode 60: Preoccupation in Relationships-Grow your security by learning signs of Anxious Attachment Episode 61: It’s not crazy, it’s just a solution to an unsolvable problem – Disorganized Attachment Other Popular Episodes Include: *Note: listed in order of discussion plus a brief summary of the show conversation Episode 54- The Stress Response System –Attachment Across the Lifespan specifically looking at the elder years and how our attachment system affects us as caretakers of our parents or as the senior who may be undergoing the various losses inherent in aging. Stephen Porges – Episode 93: Polyvagal Theory in Action: The Practice of Body Regulation The father of Polyvagal Theory! fat led to groundbreaking shifts in our understanding of how the nervous system responds to threat and trauma. Dan Siegel – Episode 16: Inside The Mind of Dr. Dan Siegel Father of interpersonal neurobiology Discussed how the current political, international and climate crises could be viewed as a chance to transform human connection. He called for us all to become pervasive leaders. Alan Sroufe – Episode 56: How We Come To Define Ourselves, Attachment Research Across The Decades If you’ve ever wanted to know how much you can predict a person’s development years in advance, then you’ll enjoy our conversation with Dr. Alan Sroufe. his research findings over the years and how insecure and secure attachment tendencies can develop and affect an individual through their lives. Bonnie Badenock – Episode 83: Establishing Neurological Safety Through Relationships discussed how exercising “happy humility” and compassion can allow for an ideal presence in our day-to-day life using our autonomic nervous system. Sympathetic activation happens when there’s a need to control something in light of an obstacle. Internal systems challenge to remain in an open and receptive state. Patricia Crittenden – Episode 96, 97, & 98 One of the originators of attachment theory studied under Mary Ainsworth Ep 96: Attachment and Self-protective strategies Ep 97: Dynamic Maturation Model (DMM) Ep 98: Diving deeper into the DMM of Attachment – our summary Stan Tatkin – Episode 12: If It’s Not Good For You, It’s Not Good For Us talking about understanding how attachment plays out in Long term relationships In order to get over hidden shame, you need to expose it to safe people. Shame can only be healed interpersonally. Different cultures social constructions of shame. Joining in sharing shame is very powerful tool. Connecting right brain to right brain. Popular Episodes On Sexuality Episode 3: Different Sex Drives Are We Screwed? Esther Perel – Episode 46: Redefining Infidelity – On Love and Desire in Modern Relationships Dr Susan Ansorage – Episode 71: Speakably Sexy: Communicating To Make Sex Hotter and Relationships More Alive Doug Braun-Harvey – Episode 42 & Episode 43: Sexual Vitality-Refreshing Our Understanding of Sexual Health Discussing love and desire in intimate relationships. promote ways of having a healthy dialogue with partners – deshames sexual desire differences, and Research on how sexuality can manifest differently in our bodies we often make assumptions based on our own experiences of sexuality…what our partner(s) are feeling and this leads to hurt and misunderstanding. The rule of variability – speaking in gendered terms is not our aim – but recognizing the differences in sex drives, sex roles and physiology can be useful. 6 principles of sexual health – add pleasure back into the conversation about healthy sex ,and the whole conversation changes The balance between pleasure and safety as a way to think of sexual health – “Sexual debut” vs losing our virginity“ Headlines – Neuroscience In The News: Current Events That Bring Attachment and Neuroscience Into Our Living Rooms Taking on current events and helping to draw out the science about how our headlines are related to attachment and neuroscience of everyday living and stress. Episode 41: How To Handle Post Election Tensions – Tips for the Holidays and Beyond Episode 68: Separation at the Border, Compounding trauma and Insecurity Relational science professionals have a lot to offer to understand the human rights event that is unfolding on the US-Mexico border. Our podcast has been all about promoting security in ourselves and our loved ones, and a primary component to this is access to your caregiver when you are young. It effects our biology, or persistent sense of ourselves and our view of the world. Long term effect on these children-citizens of the world – our neighbors. If we help to breed insecure attachment, what long term effects does it have? Episode 80: Nervous Systems in the News – Dr. Blasey Ford, Sexual Trauma Stories and the Power of Patriarchy Bringing in Polyvagal theory into such a HUGE and important dialogue- the freeze response in sexual trauma which surrounds shame, the deepening of trauma, why people hold back reporting due to shame and the misunderstanding of this in interpreting what is abuse Attachment is about safety rather than secure connection-if we sense a safe, out of danger, we can then activate the present and empathetic response of connection with higher regions of our mind/body moving from autonomic nervous system to social engagement Healing Attachment Through The Three Pillars Dr David Elliott – Episode 34 Treating Attachment Disruption in Adults Dr Daniel Brown – Episode 87: Treating Complex Trauma Goal of our podcast was to bring this kind of wisdom and insight from scholars about treatment to our listeners and these two are invaluable! Both discuss es the 3 essential ingredients of effective and efficient treatment for many clinical issues such as anxiety, depression, addiction, PTSD and personality disorders. Both discuss treatment on the anxious preoccupied side of the attachment spectrum (red side of the spectrum) and rectifying impaired self-development, chronic levels of anxiety, and chronic compulsive caretaking Episodes Specifically About Psychotherapy Dr Louis Cozolino – Episode 36 The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy Episode 89: Neurofluency in Therapy, Work, and Life Episode 39: Getting What You Want From Therapy – The Essentials of a Therapeutic Relationship Episode 41: The Dark Side of Therapy-Recognizing When The Therapeutic Relationship Goes Bad Episode 7: What Group Therapy is and 5 Reasons You Should Try It General Topics Episode 81: How Good Boundaries actually Bring Us Closer with Juliane Taylor Shore boundaries have nothing to do with whether you love someone or not. They are not punishments, judgments or betrayals. “Jello wall”: Stop and slow down all the input coming towards you so you can ask, “Is this true or not true?” and “If it is, is this about me or not about me?” This allows you to view the world around you without getting hurt. Allows you space to reflect and be in your own system. Dr. Steve Finn – Episode 51: Conquer Shame By Understanding The Science Behind The Feeling Differentiating shame and guilt. Shamelessness and debilitating shame are both toxic and yet there is a version of these feeling that is quite healthy. we discuss the contemporary research and the biology of this emotion and practical implications for your everyday life. Shaming and repairing is healthy, never shaming is not. Guilt is really healthy shame. Physical effect of shame and biology. Episode 66: Lessons from the single-not-dating world on using attachment science in real life with Becki Mendivil How we can impact our everyday relationships at work. Bring up specific examples of approaching your child with more delight, your coworkers etc Episodes About Music Episode 45: Music, Emotions and Therapy and Interview With Bob Schnieder- Love of Music Episode 44: Your Brain On Music, How Music affects your mind, Memory and Happiness Episodes On Parenting Episode 29: Understanding Adolescent Self-Consciousness From a Brain-Wise Perspective Episode 47: Attachment Insecurity and Secure Parenting with Tina Payne Bryson Episode 72: Attachment Parenting vs the Science of Attachment More General Topics Episode 17: The Biology of Motivation and Habits: Why We Drop The Ball Episode 88: 6 Seps to Increasing Your Felt Sense of Security People seemed to really like the applicable nature of this one Sit up, eye contact, gentle smile, slow down, ground self (methods) prepare and practice Kristen Neff – Episode 73: Building Grit Through Self-Compassion This is not feel-good, la-la, therapy-talk, it’s real science. Learn the important distinction self-esteem and self-compassion one can lead to psychological instability, self-criticism, stress, competition and difficulty within ourselves, our relationships and our culture. Treating yourself as your own best friend. It’s NOT a free pass, or being easy on yourself. It can be “fierce” and “protective” and “motivating.” Tina Adkins – EP 74: Mentalizing: A Critical Component for Secure Relating Dan Hardick – Ep 62: The Luv Doc Dating and Relationship Advice From the Trenches irreverent and bitingly honest insights on the dating scene and relationships that survive. Doc decades of listening to the lives, troubles and fantasies of Austin’s singles. Find out how people make assumptions about others and tend to overestimate themselves when finding a partner. Bottom line: based on your dating profile, would you date yourself? Have fun with this one and check out his column below! Richard Hill – Episode 67: A Practical Technique for Calm and Confidence Mirroring hands Episode 95: Oxytocin, Dogs & Pets In General As Attachment Figures Episodes On Mindfulness And Meditation Kelly Insellman – Episode 52: Using mindfulness Movement and Yoga to Manage Arousal Episode 52.5: Meditation Episode 63 Living with Cancer: The 6 Principles of Emotional Healing insight both for those directly experiencing the trauma of cancer and for those who love and support them. Sarah Peyton – Episode 40: Meditation And Neuroplasticity Provide a Path To Healing specific interventions and meditations that foster brain plasticity and empathy towards ourselves and others They explore what kinds of language can we use that lets brains relax and move into a space of fluidity Tweet
8 Juli 201953min
TU99: Food, The Body, Trauma, & Attachment With Guests Paula Scatoloni & Rachel Lewis-Marlow
What if we flipped the script and learned to see our body as a messenger that needs to be heard rather than an obstacle to be conquered when it comes to our relationship with food? When we take physiological perspective, we learn that the body has much to say not only about food but also emotional regulation and our basic human needs for attachment and defense. Using the sensory information, attachment system and working with defenses. Who are our guests on this episode, you ask? Well here ya go, they are pretty bad-ass and they were interviewed by Dr. Ann Kelley: Paula Scatoloni, LCSW, CEDS, SEP Paula is a somatic-based psychotherapist, Certified Eating Disorders Specialist, and Somatic Experiencing™ practitioner in Chapel Hill, NC. She has worked in the field of eating disorders for over two decades. Paula served as the Eating Disorder Coordinator at Duke University CAPS for nine years and has taught extensively on the etiology and treatment of eating disorders through workshops, professional trainings, and conferences. She co-developed the first intensive outpatient program for eating disorders in the U.S with Dr. Anita Johnston. She is the co-founder of the Embodied Recovery model and the Embodied Recovery Institute in Durham, NC. Rachel Lewis-Marlow, MS, EdS, LPC, LMBT Rachel is a somatically integrative psychotherapist, dually licensed in counseling and therapeutic massage and bodywork. She is a Certified Advanced Practitioner in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy and has advanced training and 25+ years of experience in diverse somatic therapies including Craniosacral Therapy, Energetic Osteopathy, Oncology massage and Aromatherapy. Rachel She is the co-founder of the Embodied Recovery model and the Embodied Recovery Institute in Durham, NC. provides ongoing training and supervision to clinical and support staff in the programmatic implementation of the Embodied Recovery model. In her private practice in Chapel Hill, NC, Rachel works with trauma, eating disorders, and dissociative disorders. TU99 Shownotes (are these not awesome or what? Patrons help us be able to do this, thank you you know who you are.) Typical Treatment Model Bio-Psychosocial model Bio: has been usage of pharmacology, re-feeding, nutritional rehabilitation, and yoga Psycho part has been education about emotion and emotional tolerance, dialectical behavioral therapy, supportive therapies to support emotional processing and cognitive distortions, cognitive behavioral treatment to address the distortions, and then try to change the behaviors by changing the cognitions, Social part: family and dynamics around having a place of belonging and one’s sense of belonging in the world, the culture, & the family Usually a treatment team: dietician, a therapist, family therapist, a psychiatrist, a physician Typical View of Recovery Goal: to get somebody to eat a prescribed amount of nutritional food in order to achieve a range of BMI or body size or shape eat it in what we call a normative style, which is a very relative term Focus is on how behaviors are a response to an attitude towards the body itself What’s Missing? Being curious about what the body is saying and expressing through the eating disorder behaviors Shifting the Perspective: The Embodied Recovery Model The Embodied Recovery Model is Somato–Psycho-Social. It expands the role of the body to include anatomy, physiology, kinesiology, movement, and posture. The 5 Core Principles of the Embodied Recovery Model The 5 Core Principles facilitate the intersection between somatic organization, subjective experience of self, and basic human needs for attachment and defense. Shifting from bio-psycho-social model to somato-psycho-social model. Directly resourcing the body so that it becomes a resource in recovery rather than an obstacle to recovery. Collaborate with the body at the physiological level to support the infrastructures that govern emotional regulation, memory, and sustained healing. Shifting the focus from what people with eating disorders are saying about their bodies to what their bodies are saying about what it means to be alive (defense structures) and what they need to thrive (attachment system). subjective experience meaning it’s not so much what people think about themselves but it’s actually the experience of the body and through the body Redefining recovery as an experience of embodiment rather than the absence or reduction of eating disorder symptoms. the idea that when we’re actually working with our body, and we know how to dialogue with it then, it’s going to support us and our relationship with food. Somatic Scaffolding Distorted body image: what’s happening is that the visual image of the body through the eyes and the interoceptive message (signals from the body inside) don’t match up. the visual information that they’re getting is impacted by the internal sensations they’re having and thoughts attempt to make sense of that really loud internal signals translate to interoceptively feeling huge because the internal noise is huge Embodiment: an intersection of our own awareness and our physical container-where our consciousness and our physical body intersect Eating disorder behaviors are a window into places where we are not a fully embodied 3 main areas examined in Somatic Scaffolding: the information (Sensory System), what’s being processed (Attachment System), and how it’s being processed (Defense System). Sensory Integration System Not working optimally due to genetics or trauma (generational, gestational, birth, childhood, etc). Sensitivity: Someone who is highly sensitive to textures, smells, sound, etc. experiences an internal experience of threat, which impacts the ventral vagal system Vagal system gets overloaded and overwhelmed and starts to shut down. Then we go into sympathetic or dorsal states, which do not give support for effective ingestion, digestion, and elimination. Have to pay attention to what helps resource sensory system (Learn more about this in TU93 and TU94 on Polyvagal Theory) Attachment System the relational dynamics that build the capacity for attachment (See TU 59, 60, & 61 for more info on different attachment styles) is illustrated in our basic developmental movement patterns of yield, push, reach, grasp, and pull that exist not just involuntary movement but in the primitive reflexes cellular movements the expansion and contraction movements build the capacity to connect in attachment and disconnect in our acts of defense Learning to yield yield – the perfect, relaxed state where you’re fully who you are in relationship with something else Being able to embody that phase of action, that rest, is an important action. It’s not the absence of something it is the presence of something, right. And when we can do that that is an essential part of the cycle of ingestion and digestion. It helps us know enough I’m done. I can just finish…it supports this capacity of I’m enough there’s enough I’ve had enough. Defensive defensive system – the impact of trauma trauma – something that is fundamentally impactful to us on a foundational level Is the impact truncating our attachment system that brings us into connection, or is it truncating our ability to defend ourselves and separate? Is a defense system intact or was there something that has been incomplete and is still trying to resolve “If we haven’t been able to fully complete a defensive action, our nervous system is dysregulated and isn’t going to support ingestion, digestion and elimination.”-Rachel Lewis-Marlow, Co-founder of The Embodied Recovery Institute we don’t want to try to get someone to engage in an attachment action when the reason that their body is deregulated is because it hasn’t been able to complete a defensive action. Window of tolerance A robust window of tolerance enables us to identify things like: when we’re hungry & when we’re full regulate body temperature regulator physiological & emotional state reach out to others when in distress move from sympathetic arousal to parasympathetic with ease and flow Smaller window of tolerance caused by something that happened with the primitive reflexes trauma physiology running the system because of birth trauma or attachment deficits we live outside this window most of the time and develop self-protective strategies “[These strategies] can look like anything we do in order to feel more regulated. And with eating disorders, what’s happened is that those behaviors are the only choice they have in order to come back in the window.” -Paula Scataloni, Co-founder of The Embodied Recovery Institute“ Effective treatment looks at how the attachment dynamic manifests in all the different layers of organization, and how does each member of the treatment team address it. training the nervous system to do what it didn’t get to do in the first three years of life (Learn more about Neuroplasticity in TU40 and Neurofluency in TU89) Ensuring that the individual’s body has the physiological and neurobiological capacity to handle the treatment strategies first Encompasses all elements of somatic scaffolding Brings in and examines the attachment, defensive, regulatory, and co-regulatory capacities of the entire family system “If we just treat and help the client develop regulatory capacity but the family system is not supported, then we’re just helping them in the office and then sending them out into a system that has struggles.” – Paula Scataloni, Co-founder of the Embodied Recovery Institute Resources: Embodied Recovery Institute Website Understanding The Connection Between, Eating, Attachment, And Trauma By Paula Scatoloni, LCSW, CEDS, SEP Trauma-Informed Approaches to Eating Disorders Dr. Walter Kaye’s website Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen’s website This is the heart of Therapist Uncensored – the reason we started this podcast. We are so honored to be able to bring this kind of excellent content to you guys and to help you understand yourself and the ones you love. Like this one? You may be interested in this one, too. TU93: Polyvagal Theory in Action – The Practice of Body Regulation With Dr Stephen Porges(Opens in a new browser tab) If you appreciate this work you can help it continue by becoming a Patron – ie. a super fan, or what we call Neuronerds. We are approaching our 100th episode (can you believe it!!!) and we are having special offers up until our 100th episode! Click here to sign up for as little as $5 a month. You can also help us by subscribing on Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify or Podbean to name a few and by leaving a review so others can discover this cool science. Remember, sharing is caring! Tweet
27 Juni 20191h 1min
TU98: Dive Deeper into a Model of Attachment Science (the DMM) by Ann Kelley & Sue Marriott
Dive deeper into this new (to us) model of interpreting attachment science and discover how to apply it into your daily life. Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP and Ann Kelley PhD have fun breaking down the last two episodes where Dr. Patricia Crittenden so generously shared her model called the Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM). Focus is on personal and clinical importance in this last of a 3-part series on the DMM. Before we begin: A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye), but they represent different thinking and behavioral patterns. When we refer to color in the episodes and in the show notes, we are referring to the colors we have historically used on the TU podcast and the letters and self-protective strategies of the DMM. This is only in order to maintain consistency and make the information more easily understood by our listeners. However, the colors as shown in the slides and as listed above, are the way Dr Crittenden uses them in her fantastic work! Brief Hierarchy of Attachment Theory: There’s a lot of similarity between the more familiar Mary Main et al ABC-D model of attachment and the Patricia Crittenden’s DMM interpretation of attachment, but there are also some very important differences. What’s in A Name? Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) – potentially intimidating mouthful, BUT let’s break it down What it means: Sue and Ann share their take on Dr Crittenden’s walk through the developmental process that happens in attachment from infancy to adulthood. (Listen to Episode 96 and Episode 97). As we mature into different stages of our life, our needs and self-protective strategies (what the DMM helps us learn) we use change accordingly. The beautiful thing about the DMM is the way it incorporates culture, sexuality, key relationships, and danger/safety into the attachment mix. Speaking of safety…. One key difference between the DMM and traditional attachment models is the emphasis on SAFETY rather than SECURITY. According to the DMM: -attachment is about the dyadic relationship in danger, it does not just live in the person -we take in information from the environment (parent in infancy) and shift this into “behaviors” or self-protective strategies. -these strategies develop to protect us. They are our brain’s way of helping us reduce danger and increase connectedness by creating closeness, proximity, and safety. Information Processing -It’s physiological. There are 3 systems: Somatic: what does our body feel…our heart, our stomach feel Cognitive: how we process the information, how do we make meaning Emotional: what’s coming up Bottom line, we can learn from our body. They are connected but not hierarchical. Security = Integration of all 3 of these info systems (Therapist Uncensored’s model ie. getting to the green) The Attachment Spectrum As you move out on the spectrum, (in the DMM, it’s a circle, which is also really cool) we begin to inhibit or exaggerate information based on the response in our environment/the response of our caregivers. We will tend to lean Blue or Red or Tie Dye (check out episodes 59, 60, 61 for more detailed info on each color). NOTE: These colors are Ann and Sue’s Attachment & Regulation Spectrum, not colors from the DMM. It is NOT conscious and forms in the first 2 years via Neuroception. Neuroception (listen to our episode on Polyvagal Theory for more info) tells us, as infants, that if we cry, our caregiver will react a certain way. We inhibit information according to what will keep us safe and bring us closer to our caregiver. The distortive and inhibitive behaviors that develop are functional adaptations to meet the infant’s needs. It is a way of accessing the parts of the caregiver that are available and also keeping the infant out of disorganization. Think organized chaos – the infant may be highly dysregulated but in an organized way rather than disorganized. Exaggerating, de-emphasizing or dissociating, etc. when there is danger is how we, as infants, learned to keep ourselves sane and intact. Bringing Crittenden’s work out of the research and into real life What we love: -Dr Crittenden’s inclusive approach to applying attachment theory across the lifespan. -Dr Crittenden’s stance that self-protective strategies are functional adaptations to keep us as safe. –The compassionate and understanding perspective of the self-protective behaviors we use every day. To summarize the DMM, Dr. Crittenden’s own words say it best: “My work is about all the things that we do when we’re in danger and how stunningly competent even our infants are at figuring out what you need to do to stay safe -here in this family where I was born with these parents who live in this culture facing these problems right now and these other problems that this culture knows about historically.” “Which strategy in this model is best? Every behavioral strategy is the right strategy for some problem, but no strategy is the best strategy for every problem. We need them all… If it protects you, it is the right strategy.” Final Thoughts: We love that the DMM really brings a fresh perspective to the field of attachment. Healing happens when you understand what got encoded in your body on an unconscious level from your personal experiences and your family and cultural history and then learn and implement strategies to help you move from Red or Blue or Tie Dye to Green. Security looks like the integration of all of these different dimensions that Crittenden talks about. It’s not having to distort any information and accepting and loving your whole self. YOU deserve this. Every single one of us deserves this. This is the heart of Therapist Uncensored – the reason we started this podcast. We are so honored to be able to bring this amazing research to you guys and to help you understand yourself and the ones you love. If you appreciate this work you can help it continue by becoming a Patron – ie. a super fan, or what we call Neuronerds. We are approaching our 100th episode (can you believe it!!!) and we are having special offers up until our 100th episode! Click here to sign up for as little as $5 a month. You can also help us by subscribing on Apple Podcast, Google Podcast, Spotify or Podbean to name a few and by leaving a review so others can discover this cool science. Remember, sharing is caring! Resources: Raising Parents Attachment Representations and Treatment (2008) by Patricia Crittenden The Organization of Attachment Relationships Maturation, Culture & Context (2000) by Patricia Crittenden “The secret lives of children” 2017, in Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry by Patricia Crittenden “Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment and Adaptation – theory and practice” PDF Ed. Ari Hautamaki Tweet
13 Juni 201926min
TU97: The Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) of Attachment With Guest Patricia Crittenden (Part 2)
Note: This episode is Part 2 of 2. It stands alone, but to start at Part 1 click HERE. “So which strategy in this model is best? Every behavioral strategy is the right strategy for some problem, but no strategy is the best strategy for every problem. We need them all.” – Dr Patricia Crittenden, creator of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaptation (DMM) using culture and context. LOOKING FOR THE SLIDES? DOWNLOAD THE PDF HERE: Rudiments-of-the-DMM-PDF VERSION OR THE POWERPOINT VERSION HERE: Rudiments of the DMM Powerpoint version Or if you have great eyesight 🙂 you can view them here. Therapist Uncensored Episode 97 Show Notes: Before we begin: A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye), but they represent different thinking and behavioral patterns. When we refer to color in the episodes and in the show notes, we are referring to the colors we have historically used on the TU podcast and the letters and self-protective strategies of the DMM. This is only in order to maintain consistency and make the information more easily understood by our listeners. However, the colors as shown in the slides and as listed above, are the way Dr Crittenden uses them in her fantastic work! Let’s Dive In: To understand self-protective strategies, we have to understand the information the brain is using, even in infancy – it’s neurological. A’s, the B’s and the C’s emphasize different sorts of information. Strategies by Age Group and Model Representation: Infancy DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A-2: Avoidant A1-2 A1-2 B1-2: Reserved B1-4 B1-4 B3: Comfortable C1 C1-2 B4-5: Reactive D-Controlling C1-2: Resistant/Passive Preschool Preschoolers utilize false positive affect. A’s split their own self from the other, and they focus on the parent. They take the perspective of the powerful person. C’s split their negative affect, showing either the vulnerable or the invulnerable affect. They hide the other from view. DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A1-2: Avoidant A1-2 A3-4: Compulsively Caregiving/Compliant B1-4 B1-2: Reserved C1-2 B3: Comfortable D-Controlling B4-5: Reactive C1-2: Resistant/Passive C3-4: Aggressive/Feigned Helpless School Age DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A1-2: Avoidant A1-2 A3-4: Compulsively Caregiving/Compliant B1-4 B1-2: Reserved C1-2 B3: Comfortable D-Controlling B4-5: Reactive C1-2: Resistant/Passive C3-4: Aggressive/Feigned Helpless C5-6: Punitive/Seductive Adolescence DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A1-2: Avoidant A1-2 A3-4: Compulsively Caregiving/Compliant B1-4 A5-6: Compulsively Promiscuous/Self-Reliant C1-2 B1-2: Reserved U/Cannot Classify B3: Comfortable B4-5: Reactive C1-2: Resistant/Passive C3-4: Aggressive/Feigned Helpless C5-6: Punitive/Seductive Adult DMM Ainsworth ABC+D A1-2: Avoidant A1-2 A3-4: Compulsively Caregiving/Comp B1-4 A5-6: Compulsively Promiscuous/Self-Reliant C1-2 A7-8: Delusional Idealization/Externally Assembled Self U/Cannot Classify B1-2: Reserved B3: Comfortable B4-5: Reactive C1-2: Resistant/Passive C3-4: Aggressive/Feigned Helpless C5-6: Punitive/Seductive C7-8: Menacing/Paranoid A/C: Includes Psycopathy (extreme A/C combination) Description of each group:* The A’s (our blue. red in the DMM) A1-2: The A1-2 strategy uses cognitive prediction in the context of very little real threat. Attachment figures are idealized by over-looking their negative qualities (A1) or the self is put down a bit (A2). Most A1-2s are predictable, responsible people who are just cool and businesslike. Type A strategies all rely on inhibition of feelings and set danger at a psychological distance from the self. This strategy is first used in infancy. A3: Individuals using the A3 strategy (compulsive caregiving, cf., Bowlby, 1973) rely on predictable contingencies, inhibit negative affect and protect themselves by protecting their attachment figure. In childhood, they try to cheer up or care for sad, withdrawn, and vulnerable attachment figures. In adulthood, they often find employment where they rescue or care for others, especially those who appear weak and needy. The precursors of A3 and A4 can be seen in infancy (using the DMM method for the Strange Situation), but the strategy only functions fully in the preschool years and thereafter. A4: Compulsively compliant individuals (Crittenden & DiLalla, 1988) try to prevent danger, inhibit negative affect and protect themselves by doing what attachment figures want them to do, especially angry and threatening figures. They tend to be excessively vigilant, quick to anticipate and meet others’ wishes, and generally agitated and anxious. The anxiety, however, is ignored and downplayed by the individual and often appears as somatic symptoms that are brushed aside as being unimportant. A5: A5 individuals use a compulsively promiscuous strategy (Crittenden, 1995) to avoid genuine intimacy while maintaining human contact and, in some cases, satisfying sexual desires. They show false positive affect, including sexual desire, to little known people, and protect themselves from rejection by engaging with many people superficially and not getting deeply involved with anyone. This strategy develops in adolescence when past intimate relationships have been treacherous, and strangers appear to offer the only hope of closeness and sexual satisfaction. It may be displayed in a socially promiscuous manner (that does not involve sexuality) or, in more serious cases, as sexual promiscuity. A6: Individuals using a compulsively self-reliant strategy (Bowlby, 1980) do not trust others to be predictable in their demands, find themselves inadequate in meeting the demands or both. They inhibit negative affect and protect themselves by relying on no one other than themselves. This protects the self from others, but at the cost of lost assistance and comfort. Usually this strategy develops in adolescence after individuals have discovered that they cannot regulate the behavior of important, but dangerous or non-protective, caregivers. They withdraw from close relationships as soon as they are old enough to care for themselves. There is a social form of the strategy in which individuals function adaptively in social and work contexts, but are distant when intimacy is expected, and an isolated form in which individuals cannot manage any interpersonal relationship and withdraw as much as possible from others. A7-8: Delusionally idealizing individuals (Crittenden, 2000) have had repeated experience with severe danger that they cannot predict or control, display brittle false positive affect, and protect themselves by imagining that their powerless or hostile attachment figures will protect them. This is a very desperate strategy of believing falsely in safety when no efforts are likely to reduce the danger (cf., the “hostage syndrome”). Paradoxically, the appearance is rather generally pleasing, giving little hint of the fear and trauma that lie behind the nice exterior until circumstances produce a break in functioning. This pattern only develops in adulthood. Individuals using an A8 strategy (externally assembled self, Crittenden, 2000) do as others require, have few genuine feelings of their own, and try to protect themselves by absolute reliance on others, usually professionals who replace their absent or endangering attachment figures. Both A7 and A8 are associated with pervasive and sadistic early abuse and neglect. The B’s (our green, blue in the DMM) B1-2: Individuals assigned to B1-2 are a bit more inhibited with regard to negative affect than B3s but are inherently balanced. B3: The Type B strategy involves a balanced integration of temporal prediction with affect. Type B individuals show all kinds of behavior but are alike in being able to adapt to a wide variety of situations in ways that are self-protective, that protect their children, and that as often as possible cause others no harm. They communicate directly, negotiate differences, and find mutually satisfactory compromises. They distort cognitive and affective information very little, especially not to themselves. Finally, they display a wider range of individual variation than people using other strategies – who must constrain their functioning to employ their strategy. This strategy functions in infancy. By adulthood, two sorts of Type B strategies can be differentiated. Naive B’s simply had the good fortune to grow up in safety and security. Mature B’s, on the other hand, 1) have reached neurological maturity (in the mid-30’s), 2) function in life’s major roles, e.g., child, spouse, parent, and 3) carry out an on-going process of psychological integration across relationships, roles, and contexts. Where naive B’s tend to be simplistic, mature B’s grapple with life’s complexities. B4-5: Individuals assigned to B4-5 exaggerate negative affect a bit, being sentimental (B4) or irritated (B5) but are inherently balanced. The C’s (our red, blue in the DMM) C1-2: The C1-2 (threatening-disarming) strategy involves both relying on one’s own feelings to guide behavior and using somewhat exaggerated/changing displayed negative affect to influence other people’s behavior. Specifically, the strategy consists of splitting, exaggerating, and alternating the display of mixed negative feelings to attract attention and manipulate the feelings and responses of others. The alternation is between presentation of a strong, angry invulnerable self who blames others for the problem (C1,3,5, 7) with the appearance of a fearful, weak, and vulnerable self who entices others to give succorance (C2,4,6,8). C1-2 is a very normal strategy found in people with low risk for mental health problems and a great zest for life. Infants display the C1-2 strategy. C3-4: The C3-4 (aggressive-feigned helpless) strategy involves alternating aggression with apparent helplessness to cause others to comply out of fear of attack or assist out of fear that one cannot care for oneself. Individuals using a C3 (aggressive) strategy emphasize their anger in order to demand caregivers’ compliance. Those using the C4 (feigned helpless) give signals of incompetence and submission. The angry presentation elicits compliance and guilt in others, whereas vulnerability elicits rescue. The precursors of this strategy can be seen in infancy (using the DMM method for the Strange Situation), but the strategy only functions fully in the preschool years and thereafter. C5-6: The C5-6 strategy (punitively obsessed with revenge and/or seductively obsessed with rescue) is a more extreme form of C3-4. It involves active deception to carry out the revenge or elicit rescue. Individuals using this strategy distort information substantially, particularly in blaming others for their predicament and heightening their own negative affect. The outcome is a more enduring and less resolvable struggle. Those using a C5 (punitive) strategy are colder and more distant
29 Maj 201956min
TU96: Treating Attachment & Self-Protective Strategies With Guest Patricia Crittenden(Part 1)
Treating Attachment & Self-Protective Strategies “If it protects you, it’s the right strategy.” – Dr Patricia Crittenden, creator of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaptation (DMM) using culture and context. LOOKING FOR THE SLIDES? DOWNLOAD THE PDF HERE: Rudiments-of-the-DMM-PDF VERSION OR THE POWERPOINT VERSION HERE: Rudiments of the DMM Powerpoint version Or if you have great eyesight 🙂 you can view them here. Are you ready to move from describing injured developmental pathways and symptoms – to addressing how to heal from disrupted development? We are on the case! In this episode co-host Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP discusses exactly that with Dr. Patrica Crittenden, founder of the Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaption (DMM) using culture and context to understand, decode and heal early relational injuries. Their conversation was deep and wide, thus will be published in two sections. In today’s episode, TU96, Dr. Crittenden focuses on wide-reaching cultural aspects of development, safety and danger. She uses decades of observations, assessment, research and clinical work to describe her take on what she refers to as the American Attachment researchers and elucidates how her model is similar and where and why it differs. Dr. Crittenden’s focus on applying this rich research clinically aligns perfectly with the mission of this podcast. Whether you are a clinician, foster parent, educator or are interested for your own personal reasons, you will find her perspective fresh and thought-provoking! Please see the PACKED resources and show notes below! Who is Patricia Crittenden and why do want to know her…. Dr. Mary Ainsworth Dr. Crittenden studied under Mary. D. Ainsworth from 1978 until 1983, when she received her Ph.D. as a psychologist in the Social Ecology and Development Program at the University of Virginia. In addition to Mary Ainsworth’s constant guidance and support, her psychology master’s thesis on the CARE-Index, was developed in consultation with John Bowlby and her family systems research, on patterns of family functioning in maltreating families, was accomplished with guidance from E. Mavis Hetherington. John Bowbly Dr. Crittenden has served on the Faculties of Psychology at the Universities of Virginia and Miami and held visiting professorships at the Universities of Helsinki (Finland) and Bologna (Italy) as well as San Diego State University (USA) and Edith Cowan University (Australia). In 1992 she received a Senior Post-doctoral Fellowship, with a focus on child sexual abuse and the development of individual differences in human sexuality, at the Family Research Laboratory, University of New Hampshire. In 1993-4 she was awarded the Beverley Professorship at the Clark Institute of Psychiatry (Canada). In the last two decades, Dr. Patricia Crittenden has worked cross-culturally as a developmental psychopathologist developing the Dynamic-Maturational Model (DMM) of attachment and adaptation, along with a developmentally attuned, life-span set of procedures for assessing self-protective strategies. She has received a career achievement award for “Outstanding Contributions to the Field of Child and Family Development” from the European Family Therapy Association in Berlin. Currently, Dr. Crittenden’s work is focused on preventive and culture- sensitive applications of the DMM to mental health treatment, child protection, and criminal rehabilitation. Before we begin: A’s (Red in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Blue on TU B’s (Blue in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Green on TU C’s (Green in the DMM)=Historically referred to as Red on TU AC’s = Historically referred to Tie Dye on TU **Note: We know the colors may be a bit confusing, but it is important to us that you receive information as Dr Crittenden has published it. It is by happenstance that our colors are the same (with the exception of tie dye), but they represent different thinking and behavioral patterns. When we refer to color in the episodes and in the show notes, we are referring to the colors we have historically used on the TU podcast and the letters and self-protective strategies of the DMM. This is only in order to maintain consistency and make the information more easily understood by our listeners. However, the colors as shown in the slides and as listed above, are the way Dr Crittenden uses them in her fantastic work! Therapist Uncensored Episode 96 Shownotes: “We crave information about danger because we live so safely, and we know there has to be danger out there and our brains are evolved to hunt for it.” – Andrea Claussen, student of Crittenden What patterns are emerging culturally? Life makes sense the way we live in it – the strategy that is dominant in each culture represents the best solution to the problems/for the dangers that are prevalent and have been prevalent historically that these people have experienced Western countries have become safer than that ever were before. We’ve fallen in love with the idea of security, but the trick is to survive danger. Bowlby knew attachment is about protection from danger and not the state of security. What is the DMM about? Crittenden’s work is about “all the things that we do when we’re in danger and how stunningly competent even our infants are at figuring out what you need to do to stay safe here, in this family where I was born, with these parents who live in this culture facing these problems right now and these other problems that the culture knows about historically.” Infants: Embedded in a series of systems Only experiences systems through the interaction with parents Know historical danger in a pre-conscious way, personal dangers in a more conscious way, may even carry mother’s experience with danger epigenetically As infants become preschoolers who become school-aged children who become adolescents repeatedly refine their understanding of how to stay safe in this family, in this setting, in this culture As their mind matures and makes it possible for them to use more of the information that is around them. The socioeconomic biases that predict security in the U.S. are not necessarily what is going to predict safety in the DMM. Attachment From Bowlby to Crittenden: Attachment functions to promote survival by protecting and comforting the person when there is danger Attachment is not about security, it is about surviving danger, which is a completely different starting point than American attachment begins with and to organize a protective strategy. The Brain The brain needs information if you’re going to behave in the context of danger in a way that will elicit a attachment, care-giving and protection. The brain operates with three kinds of information: Somatic information from your body – How does your stomach feel right now? Are Your hands shaking or you aroused? Somatic information will override everything else. Cognitive – action consequence sequences -straight behavioral learning Affective – information that is processed through the limbic system that comes from intense contextual stimulus These three sources of information, your body, the temporal consequences and the intensity of signals in the state all give you information that predict danger or safety. Infants learn the meanings of these forms of information from interacting with their parents. Attachment theory in general: Infant brains use simple information, and they create simple strategies. More mature brains transform information in more ways and then it better predictions, and they organize more elegant protective behavior The Differences Between the DMM and American Attachment Click HERE to download the slides (these will be discussed in detail in Part 2, Ep 97, but you are welcome to check them out here!) American attachment theory Attachment is a characteristic of the infant. The A, B, C, D model codes only the infant or only the adult (AAI). Attachment is a property of a person, not a relationship. Ainsworth named observations in children patterns. DMM model Attachment is not in one person. It is the process between two people that makes the younger weaker, more vulnerable, and the other more safe and comfortable when there is threat. Security is not so important. Adaptation is important Crittenden calls observations self-protective strategies. Self-protective strategies: Asks “does it protect you in your context?” A strategy that is the best solution to the problems in your life context that is adaptive will feel good and comfortable and safe. American attachment theory assumes a normative, safe environment. DMM says globally, it is not always safe. A more typical environment has danger in it, and you need to adapt to that. We need attachment relationships that will protect us in dangerous circumstances. Find Episode 97, Part Two of this discussion, here. Gain private access, more in-depth episodes and exclusive content with us through Patreon. Become a Super Neuronerd, a Gold Neuronerd or an Out and Proud PLATINUM NEURONERD today! Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for just $5 a month! Help us create a ripple of security by sharing the science of relationships around the globe! NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up. Resources: Rudiments-of-the-DMM-PDF VERSION Raising Parents Attachment Representations and Treatment (2008) by Patricia Crittenden The Organization of Attachment Relationships Maturation, Culture & Context (2000) by Patricia Crittenden “The secret lives of children” 2017, in Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry by Patricia Crittenden “Dynamic Maturational Model of Attachment and Adaptation – theory and practice” PDF Ed. Ari Hautamaki Tweet
15 Maj 201941min
TU95: Oxytocin & Dogs (& Pets in General) as Attachment Figures
Oxytocin and dogs! Our pet relationships provide a trust and bonding boost, and is the natural love drug our bodies make at key relational moments such as child-birth, nursing, orgasm and falling in love.* In this episode we discuss how to create this moral molecule without even needing complicated human relationships by connecting mutually to our companion pets. What’s not to love about that? The science now is clear – this inter-species relationship is mutually beneficial and potentially life-changing for both of you. Lower cortisol, higher oxytocin, more trust and connection – ba bing! Most of us can relate to having a beloved pet that has been a significant part of our lives. We love them, and the cool thing is, they love us back unconditionally it seems, without regard to our moral failings. In fact, there is now crazy hard science research to back up the power of this connection, particularly regarding dogs. In our last episode, we told you that we’d be talking more about the love drug, oxytocin, and how we can actively induce the release of this hormone in our bodies in order to promote our favorite subject, building security. In this one we get real and walk the walk of vulnerability. So, what do pets, specifically dogs, have to do with oxytocin and building security? Well, security happens through safe connection, and connection both induces the release of oxytocin and is created by it’s presence. This cascade creates a feeling of physiological safety and openness and warmth in our bodies, which helps us to bond and build security. Believe it or not, we can consciously manipulate our body’s release of oxytocin through the bond we create with our beloved pets. And if you’ve been following the podcast, you know this ties into the previous 2 episodes on Polyvagal Theory and our autonomic nervous system. In this episode, join Ann and Sue as they talk about what this experience looks like in real life and how to cultivate the love-drug cross-species. Also hear Sue’s incredibly powerful story of tragic loss, and renewed hope, all related to pets. *Of course we are simplifying a bit – nothing is all good. Oxytocin isn’t always a love-drug, it can cause aggression or feelings of loneliness. For example if the wolves had made eye-contact as the companion dogs did (the wolves made much less eye contact and had no increase in the hormone), it would probably have spiked aggression rather than bonding (an urge to protect their bonded pack rather than attach to the alien human), but we are focusing here on the most major findings of the neuropeptide. Cooper comforting Sue… I know so MANY of you have pets as primaries, it’s a real relationship (scientifically and intuitively) that truly comforts and heals. Episode 95 show notes: Oxytocin – Ann and Sue’s favorite neuropeptide, AKA the cuddle drug, the love drug, the moral molecule. Research shows that the bond we have with our pets is reciprocal. The pleasure center of the brain lights up in us and in our animal partners. Cortisol levels decrease, and oxytocin levels increase in humans and animals when we have high eye contact. The most significant increase (up to almost 300%) is seen with dogs and varies based on breed. It’s an extra boost if we catch our dogs looking at us first. Don’t be embarrassed about your significant other with 4 legs, or less. Hear about bonding with fish, monkey’s picking and humans grooming behavior, and what lice has to do with it all. Dogs and any other beloved pet can be serious attachment figure in our lives, helping us to build a sense of safety and security in the world. It can be a very powerful relationship that is just as strong, and sometimes stronger, than human connections. Granted some people have pets as just animals, an object to guard their home or to rescue or to get dates, but that is totally different from the potential real attachment relationships that in the right circumstances can enhance the lives of the whole family. Sue shares how dogs have been a consistent, benevolent, reliable, caring, protective force in her life. To illustrate this, she shares a vulnerable personal story about her relationships with her dogs, Jackson and Cooper, through some traumatic experiences. Story take-aways: Teenage parenting tip: if you want to get your teen to talk to you, do something active with them so you aren’t staring at them waiting to talk. Engaging in something actively where they don’t have to make direct eye contact is more likely to open up a reluctant talker – like walking dogs, or dribbling balls, or parallel doodling – sneaking up on the conversation is conducive to getting them to open up without stress. Oxytocin is better than crack. Important note: the bond with Jackson and later, Cooper, didn’t replace the relationship with people during these hard experiences. The connection, however, is unique and sometimes better than the connection with people if you come from experiences where people didn’t earn your trust. Back to Oxytocin and Cortisol Science Oxytocin bounces across species and is not species-dependent. Think chimpanzees holding each other , the owl caring for the duck in the owl’s nest, the hippo and the giant turtle. It is normally associated with childbirth, nursing, love-making orgasm and everybody produces it. It causes the milk let-down response that nursing women experience when a baby cries or in response to someone in distress. Companion animals – but especially companion dogs – pick up our distress and actively want to nurture us and vice versa. Lesser known oxytocin response: tribalism-aggressive and protective behaviors So how do we really facilitate oxytocin flow with people? Learn to trust by taking small calculated risks Vulnerability begets nurturing Use gentle eye contact – soft gaze for extended time (not fight or make out gaze, just looking with interest and curiosity and care) Sue and Ann discuss research studies, how the breed of dog effects eye contact and bonding, and other examples of the connection between dogs and people. Dopamine: the hunt and find chemical, think looking for a date Dopamine + Oxytocin = amazing from a romantic standpoint. Thanks for joining us as we get vulnerable and walk the walk with you. We get it. That’s why we are working to build security one episode at a time! Resources: How Dogs Love Us – A Neuroscientist and his Adopted Dog Decode the Canine Brain – by Gregory Berns Gazing into the puppy-dog eyes may actually be good for you – NPR audio Oxytocin and Cortisol Levels in Dog Owners and Their Dogs Are Associated with Behavioral Patterns: An Exploratory Study A 1980 study found that more heart-attack victims with pets survived beyond the one-year mark than those without, a finding that was reproduced 15 years later. Dog – Human Chemistry, the Role of Oxytocin Smiling faces are attractive to dogs, thanks to oxytocin Oxytocin Gaze Positive Loop and the Co-evolution of Human-Dog Bonds. The Pet Effect – Health Related Aspects of Companion Animal Ownership Who doesn’t love special offers? Gain private access, more in-depth episodes and exclusive content with us through Patreon. Become a Super Neuronerd, a Gold Neuronerd or an Out and Proud PLATINUM NEURONERD today! 🙂 Join our exclusive community of Therapist Uncensored Neuronerds for just $5 a month! Help us create a ripple of security by sharing the science of relationships around the globe! NEURONERDS UNITE! Click here to sign up. Cooper looking regal and standing guard emotionally Tweet
1 Maj 201933min
