Don’t Box Yourself In: Using the Enneagram Well in Your Marriage

The 4.5 space in marriage is a beautiful place to create, plan, dream, and think, yet this pensive space can keep partners lonely without healthy habits and movement. Today we give our audience tips for finding safety and respect in the depths of the heart and mind with the generous help of the wildly popular husband-and-wife podcast host team, Sharleen Joynt, 4w5, and Andy Levine, 5w4 of the Dear Shandy podcast, as they humorously but soulfully and honestly allow us to plunge the depths of their relationship space. In this extended episode, we also cover how Sharleen was also on "The Bachelor" and performs across the world as an award-winning opera singer, and we talk about what Fours and Fives bring to media spaces as well. Tune in to this unique, comedic, and deeply thoughtful episode here! Visit the Dear Shandy Podcast here or search "Dear Shandy" The story of how Andy and Sharleen met on the pod Visit the Dear Shandy Instagram here (the link in bio links out everything!) For those who may want to enjoy Sharleen's opera pieces, visit here Find the Enneagram in Marriage Course here!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

10 Jan 202451min

In this inspiring getting-your-love-back-on-track episode, Christa takes you through several seeming paradoxes of relationship health on this heart-to-heart journey. We look closely at the work every personality type needs to do as they face the issues of independence versus leaning in, self regulation versus spousal care, and how to establish social bonds to encourage you both as you begin walking toward your partner. Come away from this episode with newfound courage, wisdom, intimacy-building, and most of all an increased urge to love. Watch on YouTube here! Christa also shares about a brand new 5-week course beginning live over Zoom for you, The Enneagram in Marriage, so those wanting a deeper dive and some accountability can grow across the semester together! We talk specifically today about: Self-discovery through the lens of the Enneagram Asking for needs to be met while also learning self-soothing Talking with your partner about issues of depth while also having fun and dreaming together Join The Enneagram in Marriage 5 Week Course Here For all your relationship needs, visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

8 Jan 202425min

One of the key factors that will determine how healthy you are in your marriage is and will always be working with your attachment styles and responses to threats and triggers. Yet the typical attachment wiring labels (secure, disorganized, anxious, withdrawing, and more) also need more fleshing out as well as acceptance, for each part of you has a role to fulfill to protect you and make you feel safe. As we open the new year, Christa is joined by Dr. Anita Kuhnly (Baker Books, The Four Relationship Styles) as she walks us through the four styles, helping you to walk through stumbling blocks to safety in finding your deepest love. Watch on YouTube: 👩‍🚒a Firefighter w/ a depth of character not easily won, 🕵️‍♂️ an investigator w/ superior, analytical skills, 👮‍♀️ a competent & independent security guard, 👨‍👨‍👦‍👦 or a networker, who thrives on connection? Dr. Anita helps us to know that every style comes w/strengths & vulnerabilities and yet  understanding the practical implications is a game changer & can help you spend more time at the top of your game. Order her pre-bonuses here: https://dranitakuhnley.com/products/pre-order-a-signed-copy-of-the-four-relationship-styles-how-attachment-theory-can-help-you-in-your-search-for-lasting-love Dr. Anita's Instagram page, The Empathic Counselor https://www.instagram.com/the.empathetic.counselor/ Join The Enneagram in Marriage 5 Week Course For all your relationship needs, visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com           Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

3 Jan 202455min

When it comes to personal and marriage growth this 2024, it's helpful to have not only a type-finding tool like the Enneagram but a trait finder like the most empirically scientifically studied personality test, the Big Five, to go along with it. Let Christa guide you on a relationship-based Big Five convo as you find out how you score on Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism scales, and allow yourself to come into some refined New Year's learning with us as you do! Watch on YouTube! Take the Big 5 Personality Test here! https://www.truity.com/test/big-five-personality-test?ver=control Get signed up for the Enneagram in Marriage 5 Week Course right here! https://enneagramandmarriage.myflodesk.com/dsn5x683vo Read Christa's Substack on Openness here! Get all of your relationship tools here! www.enneagramandmarriage.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

1 Jan 202424min

When any one of your SP (self-preserving), SX (sexual), and SO (social) instincts is taking over, you'll find yourselves in a sad or collapsing marriage state, maybe even metaphorically dying as a couple. Couples who want to grow and thrive need to use thinking skills also as well as to distinguish feelings versus just using automatic responses. In this final episode of the year, join Christa in walking you through the rubble to hope on the other side with tips and tactics for finding your deep love again. Watch on YouTube here! 5 Week Course Sign Up Contact us to find a coach from our internal team here or find our affiliate coaches here! Find your E + M freebies here! https://www.enneagraminyourmarriage.com/freebies Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

27 Dec 202331min

Author Scott Kedersha, Enneagram 3 (3-9 pairing) is not only a fellow Baker author with Christa but also the long-standing marriage pastor at Harris Creek Baptist Church out of Waco, TX. His conversations with couples over the last seventeen years have led him to understand the biggest themes in marriage issues also involve a lack of vulnerability and prayer in marriage. In fact, he's discovered that couples who pray together have unparalelled commitment and a far less drastic divorce rate, which is fascinating to hear about as he shares with us today. But what if we don't feel safe? What if we manipulate in prayer? Today we discuss this and so much more today with you in this special Christmas episode!  https://www.amazon.com/Ready-Knot-Prayer-Guide-Prayers-ebook/dp/B0BVZYMZ7F?ref_=ast_author_dpttps://www.scottkedersha.com/ Hardcover: https://www.amazon.com/Ready-Knot-Prayer-Guide-Prayers/dp/1540902870/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= Visit Scott's website here! www.Scottkedersha.com For all of your relationship needs, visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

24 Dec 202341min

Every personality type in marriage DESPERATELY needs compassion and kindness if they expect the marriage to be joyful, yet kindness and compassion look different across personality types. Since each has a different main emotional and mental struggle, today on this E + M mini, Christa walks you through a baseline and type-by-type reminder of how you can stay strong yet kind and deeply joyful this holiday. For all, there are important and specific steps to add more kindness and compassion as well as to avoid criticism and complaining over the holidays, so you can get the fun moving forward. Take a deep breath and tune into this shortie episode as many times as you need for a much-needed holiday boost! Watch on YouTube here! Marriage gift ideas mentioned in the episode here: Use the code HUNDRED here for $100 our 5 session course with Christa in Jan here! https://www.enneagraminyourmarriage.com/thecourse/p/glow Use the code HALFOFFHOLIDAY at www.suppersleuths.com for a fun mystery party game with your friends and family this holiday season! Visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com for all your relationship needs!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

20 Dec 202316min

Giving space for suffering and holding space for one another, as well as working through life and generational trauma in marriage are essential practices for long-term couples. Almost everyone has been through something hard or incapacitating by the time they are married for any number of years. Today Christa is joined by the esteemed Dr. Dan Allender and Becky Allender, co-founders of The Seattle School/The Allender Center, who in their 8-9 pairing have helped hundreds of thousands of people to overcome issues of trauma of all kinds. They share tips in general and reveal some of their own restorative narratives in their marriage, as well as how to suffer alongside each other and address one's own trauma triggers, which are especially helpful when contempt arises. Dan has authored Healing the Wounded Heart, The Cry of the Soul, and more and Becky has authored Hidden in Plain Sight: One Woman's Search for Identity, Intimacy, and Calling. Together they also offer marriage retreat intensives, courses, and more! Watch on YouTube here! The Allender Center specializes in training pastors, therapists, group leaders, lay counselors, and community and business leaders to understand their own stories to more deeply enter the lives of those they are called to love and serve. We come alongside to equip and develop skills for wading into the difficult waters of heartache, trauma, and abuse. Find their resources, books, and marriage retreat info here. https://theallendercenter.org/ Find Dan's podcast here! Use the code ENNEAGRAM15 to get 15% off of one of their marriage video courses here! To work through your relationship needs, make sure to visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

18 Dec 202354min