10% Happier with Dan Harris12 Feb 2025

How To Make a Marriage Work | Chodo Robert Campbell and Koshin Paley Ellison (Co-Interviewed by Dr. Bianca Harris)

A candid, useful, and hilarious conversation.

Chodo Robert Campbell Sensei is a Zen teacher, bereavement specialist, grief counselor and a recognized leader for those suffering with the complexities of death & dying, aging, and sobriety. The educational non-profit he co-founded, the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care, touches thousands of lives every year through its numerous educational programs, contemplative retreats, and Soto Zen Buddhist practices. Chodo has been featured in the New York Times, PBS, CBS Sunday Morning and other media outlets.

Koshin Paley Ellison is an author, Zen teacher, Jungian psychotherapist, leader in contemplative care, and co-founder of an educational non-profit called the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care. His books, grounded in Buddhist wisdom and practice, have gained national attention. Through its numerous educational programs, contemplative retreats, and Soto Zen Buddhist practices, the New York Zen Center touches thousands of lives every year. Koshin has appeared on dozens of podcasts and his work has been featured in the New York Times, PBS, CBS Sunday Morning and other media outlets.

In this episode we talk about:

We get really real on the role of early childhood trauma and how that can show up in our relationships
The importance of understanding your partner's operating manual and how to come up with rules of the road
The role of humor in relationships—how it can be used to successfully name the difficult parts of our partner's personality—and how that can go wrong
Why it's important to do your own work outside of your relationship—in therapy and meditation or whatever is useful to you
And the value of learning to be uncomfortable… together

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