216: When Sexual Energy Builds: How to Avoid the Relapse Spiral Without Suppression or Shame

216: When Sexual Energy Builds: How to Avoid the Relapse Spiral Without Suppression or Shame

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome your pornography use?

Click here to book a free call with Sam to get help to overcome pornographyhttps://stopporn.info/

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Episode show notes:

Today we dive deep into the real reason men relapse when sexual energy builds — and it’s not just about willpower.

If you've been battling porn addiction, you’ve likely tried to resist, suppress, and distract yourself every time an urge to watch porn surfaces. But what if that strategy is actually setting you up to fail?

This episode uncovers why the common “dam approach” — where you try to hold back your sexual urges through deprivation — often leads to more pressure, anxiety, and eventual porn relapses.

Instead, we explore two proven frameworks that help men break free from the binge/guilt/shame cycle and experience long-term porn addiction recovery.

We tell the story of two men:

One who used pornography to escape emotional pain like shame, rejection, and loneliness...

And one who faced habitual urges and sexual energy late at night, even after he had removed his triggers...

Both learned how to stop using porn as a coping mechanism and finally felt in control again.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Why deprivation often causes anxiety and increases the risk of porn relapses

How to understand what’s really driving your urge to watch porn — emotional pain vs. physical arousal

How to use mindfulness and redirection to handle urges without suppression or shame

A question that instantly grounds you when you're triggered: “What else in my environment is interesting right now?”

How to finally stop the cycle of white-knuckling, slipping, and starting over again

This episode is for you if you want to:

  • Quit porn for good
  • Overcome habitual porn use
  • Break free from compulsive sexual behaviors
  • Stop relapse before it happens
  • Build emotional and mental tools to master their porn recovery journey

If you're ready to stop fighting against your urges and finally start understanding and resolving them at the root, this episode will give you the clarity and tools you’ve been missing.

Avsnitt(218)

How to Resolve Her Fears That Prevent Affection and Sex

How to Resolve Her Fears That Prevent Affection and Sex

So often a woman feels reluctance to be affectionate or have sex after there’s been betrayal due to pornography addiction or infidelity. She protects herself from getting hurt even more, so her guard is up. In order to help her work through her fears, men first need to understand what they are and then know how to help support her so she can start to feel safe enough to open back up. Discover the conversations you can have together that will help you come together and know how to reintegrate affection and sex when the time is right. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

1 Juli 202131min

A Powerful Tool to Process Through Addiction or Trauma Triggers Successfully

A Powerful Tool to Process Through Addiction or Trauma Triggers Successfully

Triggers can hit us seemingly from out of nowhere, but using this tool can help you to identify and process through them successfully. Whether it has to do with a pornography addiction trigger, trauma trigger, or anything else that creates stress, overwhelm or anger. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

24 Juni 202130min

How to Talk About Sexual or Addiction Triggers Without Fighting

How to Talk About Sexual or Addiction Triggers Without Fighting

Oftentimes, a big part of the check-in conversation revolves around whether he was triggered to watch porn or not.. The problem is that if he was triggered that day, her hearing about it can cause a negative reaction and feel like it undermines the progress that he/they are making. But transparency is important and opening up when he is struggling is necessary, so in this episode I share with you exactly how to talk about triggers in a way that helps her to feel safe and build trust, instead of these discussions spiraling into a fight. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

10 Juni 202123min

A Highly-Effective Way to Get Through Overwhelming Moments

A Highly-Effective Way to Get Through Overwhelming Moments

Healing from porn addiction and betrayal trauma can have overwhelming moments that can feel dark and lonely. But there is hope if you have one particular resource or tool to help you through those moments. In this episode I share with you the #1 tool to navigate moments that knock you down, so you can find the strength and hope to collect yourself and keep moving forward. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
 Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

3 Juni 202122min

His Sex Drive: When It‘s Healthy vs Addiction Driven

His Sex Drive: When It‘s Healthy vs Addiction Driven

How do you know if his desire for sex is rooted in pornography addiction or if it’s coming from a healthy place? Knowing this makes all the difference when it comes to reintegrating sex back into the relationship when the time is right. In this episode I share with you the #1 distinguishing factor and how you can use this tool to continue to make progress in overcoming the addiction or building the relationship. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
 Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

27 Maj 202122min

Is Minimal Effort Being Put In or Are Expectations Too High?

Is Minimal Effort Being Put In or Are Expectations Too High?

Sometimes couples reach a stalemate when she thinks he's not doing enough to work on his pornography addiction and if he feels like no matter what he does it'll never be enough. There are a few different reasons why we see things like this, and in this episode I'll share with you what each person can do about it to keep making progress without these discussions resulting in a fight. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
 Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

20 Maj 202130min

What to Do When Lying Erodes A Relationship: Tools For Both Him and Her)

What to Do When Lying Erodes A Relationship: Tools For Both Him and Her)

Whenever there is a struggle with porn addiction, there's often dishonesty. And that is one of the most damaging elements to a marriage, but if you are going to eliminate it completely, you must understand the reason why it's continuing to happen. Lying is a symptom of something deeper, and once you discover it and get the tools to resolve it, the dishonesty goes away. In this episode I share with you some tools for both him and her in order to remove any blocks that make being honest difficult. For therapy from Sam, send an email here to get information: sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
 Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

13 Maj 202122min

The 5 Pillars to Overcome Pornography Addiction: How To Know If He‘ll Actually Be Successful

The 5 Pillars to Overcome Pornography Addiction: How To Know If He‘ll Actually Be Successful

The road to healing can feel completely overwhelming, so I wanted to break down the process to overcome pornography addiction into just 5 steps. If you focus on these core components, then you'll achieve lasting freedom from porn addiction, and your relationship can heal and flourish. For therapy from Sam, send an email here for more information: sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship. 2yByxYKPewtkE5KcROhu

6 Maj 202129min

Populärt inom Samhälle & Kultur

mardromsgasten
podme-dokumentar
aftonbladet-krim
en-mork-historia
badfluence
rattsfallen
p3-dokumentar
creepypodden-med-jack-werner
skaringer-nessvold
nemo-moter-en-van
killradet
flashback-forever
rss-brottsutredarna
kod-katastrof
vad-blir-det-for-mord
hor-har
rysarpodden
p1-dokumentar
rss-ghip-googlare-har-inga-polare
svenska-fall