Unhappiness Is Not a Life Sentence | Christina Feldman

We all know that change is inevitable and impermanence is non-negotiable. But somehow it can feel surprising, maybe even wrong, when we personally hit turbulence. The Buddha had a lot to say about this, and so does our guest. Kaira Jewel Lingo has come back to the show to talk about her new book, We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons on Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption. This episode explores a few of those strategies including: waking up to what's happening right now; trusting the unknown; a Buddhist list called the Five Remembrances; how gratitude helps us in times of disruption; and accepting what is (and why this is different from resignation or passivity). Kaira herself is no stranger to impermanence: she spent 15 years as a Buddhist nun, and then decided to leave, which caused no small amount of disruption. Please note: There are brief mentions of domestic violence, abuse, the suffering of refugees, and war in this episode. To help you find your way during times of upheaval, loss, and transition, Kaira Jewel has recorded a series of meditations in the Ten Percent Happier app. Check it out by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps, tapping on the Singles tab, and searching for the topic called "Made for These Hard Times." Or, you can just click here. And while you're there, be sure to listen to our new podcast, Twenty Percent Happier, available exclusively in the Ten Percent Happier app. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kaira-jewel-lingo-390

25 Okt 202151min

Friendship was important to the Buddha. In fact, there's a whole passage in the Buddhist scriptures, or suttas, about friendship, with seven strategies for friendship, some of which we will discuss in this episode, with Kate Johnson. Kate has been meditating for over twenty years and is a graduate of Spirit Rock's four-year teacher training program. She is the author of a new book that has drawn praise from people like Lama Rod Owens, Jack Kornfield, and Ruth King. The book is called Radical Friendship: Seven Ways to Love Yourself and Find Your People in an Unjust World. In the book, and in this conversation, Kate draws on an ancient Buddhist text known as the Mitta Sutta to offer actionable strategies for realness, generosity, and other key ingredients for friendship. Radical Friendship is available on Bookshop, Indiebound, Barnes and Noble or Amazon To practice cultivating radical friendship, check out some related meditations in the Ten Percent Happier app. If you're already listening to this episode in the Ten Percent Happier app, just scroll down to the "Related" section for meditations on friendship from Sebene Selassie, Oren Jay Sofer, and Joseph Goldstein. If you're not a subscriber, click here or download the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps and click on the "Podcasts" tab to get started. And while you're there, be sure to listen to our new podcast, Twenty Percent Happier, available exclusively in the Ten Percent Happier app. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kate-johnson-389

20 Okt 202147min

Distraction is one of the top complaints of meditators -- and of pretty much every human being, in this era that has been dubbed the "info blitzkrieg." In this episode, we'll hear from Dr. Amishi Jha, who has spent years studying the impact of meditation on people who work in high stress professions and has collaborated with the military, first responders, and elite athletes. Her new book is about how to, in her words, focus without all the struggle, take back your attention from the pull of distraction, and function at your peak. Dr. Jha is Professor of Psychology at the University of Miami, the Director of Contemplative Neuroscience for the Mindfulness Research and Practice Initiative, and author of a new book called Peak Mind: Find Your Focus, Own Your Attention, Invest 12 Minutes a Day. In this episode, Dr. Jha talks about: peak mind; the neuroscience of attention; how and why meditation works for high stress groups; multitasking vs. task switching; simulation mode vs. mindful mode; and answers the burning question - what is the least amount of meditation minutes one can do and still derive all the advertised benefits? As Dr. Jha mentioned in the episode, she recorded a meditation in the Ten Percent Happier app to help you practice paying attention to your attention. Check it out by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app wherever you get your apps, tapping on the Singles tab, and searching for her meditation called "Find Your Flashlight." Or, click here to play the meditation. And be sure to check out our new podcast, Twenty Percent Happier, available exclusively in the Ten Percent Happier app. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/amishi-jha-388

18 Okt 20211h 12min

In this special episode we're going to do some mindful eavesdropping. You're going to get a chance to listen in on a process that rarely, if ever, gets aired publicly. You're going to hear real students talking to a real meditation teacher about real life issues -- issues in their meditation practice, and issues related to applying meditation to your everyday life. The meditation teacher for this episode is Matthew Hepburn. Matthew has spent the last decade teaching meditation in schools, prisons, and meditation centers around the country. He's an incredibly skilled, wise, and funny teacher. He's also worked for many years at Ten Percent Happier, where Matthew is a stalwart on the content team. We cover some fascinating issues, including: how meditation can make you braver at work; undercover practices you can do with your spouse or partner; how to find meaning in everyday annoyances; how to handle fear; and the one thing that will break any meditation practice. You can listen to 20% Happier exclusively on the Ten Percent Happier app and download today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/matthew-hepburn-387

13 Okt 20211h 15min

Very few of us relish chaos and disruption, but they are facts of life, given the nonnegotiable nature of change. In this episode with Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, we're going to talk about how to tune into the value of disruption, and learn how to sit with the chaos. Zenju Earthlyn Manuel is an ordained Zen priest, holds a Ph.D., and worked for decades as a social science researcher and development director for non-profit organizations. She is also a prolific author. In this conversation we'll explore: what to do with the unknown and not having any answers; the power of a "sip of silence" (her term); what she means by the phrase "death as a doorway to tenderness;" how she defines tenderness - a word that can easily get bogged down in sloppy sentimentality; and what she meant when she wrote "I'm not advocating love as an answer to all of the ills of the world. Then again, it is just that simple to be love." Content Warning: There are brief mentions of assault; spiritual, sexual, and substance abuse; and racism, including a recent incident Zenju experienced herself.

11 Okt 202151min

We talk a lot on this show about social connection, but in this episode we're going to get super granular on how to actually do relationships better. Carole Robin and David Bradford taught the most popular elective course at the Stanford Graduate School of Business for a combined total of 75 years. Officially, the name of the course is Interpersonal Dynamics, but everybody calls it "Touchy-Feely." Together they have written the new book, Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues. We dive into the six hallmarks of what they call "exceptional relationships," how to be honest and vulnerable without overdoing it, why the questions "how am I feeling?" and "how are you feeling?" are central to improving our communication, the inevitability of risk when you set out to deepen a relationship, and why meditation is helpful in all of this. Download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/carole-robin-david-bradford-385

6 Okt 20211h 7min

In the mental health community, there's a new term: "Eco-Anxiety." Our guest in this episode, Jay Michaelson, has been thinking hard about climate change for many, many years. Michaelson is a meditation teacher, rabbi, lawyer, activist, and journalist. And he is also a core teacher in the Ten Percent Happier app. He's covered climate change extensively, and has taught environmental ethics at Boston University Law School and Chicago Theological Seminary. He has also been a leading environmental activist in religious communities. In this conversation, we talk about what Jay thinks some meditation teachers get wrong about climate change, what he calls the "delusion" that individual habit change can make an impact, how we can use meditation to engage more effectively in the kind of politics he says we need to move the needle on a systemic level, and how to use meditation and deep breathing to handle eco-anxiety.

4 Okt 20211h 1min

In this episode we're talking about increasing happiness by connecting to nature. Guest Andreas Weber is a renowned philosopher, biologist, and writer based in Berlin. He is the author of many books, including Matter & Desire: An Erotic Ecology. He has a fascinating and surprising approach: calling for an "erotic" relationship to nature. Weber calls it "erotic ecology" and argues that we have been socialized to have an instrumental view of nature and instead wants us to be in a love relationship with nature. In this conversation, we talk about how to actually practice erotic ecology, what Weber means when he says love is the foundational principle of reality, how and why to make ourselves "edible," and how Weber manages his own pessimism when it comes to climate change.

29 Sep 202148min