The Opposite of Schadenfreude | Election Sanity Series | Tuere Sala

The Opposite of Schadenfreude | Election Sanity Series | Tuere Sala

There's an old expression: "Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little bit." I love that saying, because it speaks to how hard it can be to take pleasure in other people's happiness. That said, while it may be difficult, it is not impossible -- and moreover, as our guest today will argue, it's a massively useful skill, especially as we endure this bonkers election. Welcome to week three of our special Election Sanity podcast series. Every Monday in October, we're tackling a mental skill drawn from an ancient Buddhist list known as the Four Brahma Viharas, or the Four Heavenly Abodes. Don't be fooled by the high falutin' name; these skills are eminently achievable, and massively helpful. I can say this based on both personal experience, and also a significant amount of scientific research. In the previous two episodes, we explored loving-kindness (also known by the less gooey moniker of "friendliness"), and also compassion. This week it's "sympathetic joy," or "mudita." You can think of this skill as the opposite of Schadenfreude; instead of reveling in the suffering of other people, you're celebrating their happiness. Our guest today calls it "borrowing joy." Her name is Tuere Sala. She's a guiding teacher at Insight Seattle. She's no pollyanna; she doesn't sugarcoat how challenging mudita can be, but she does have a strategy that I think you will find appealingly doable. Where to find Tuere Sala online: Seattle Insight Meditation Society: https://seattleinsight.org/Teachers/Teacher/TeacherID/102 Just a reminder, our Free Election Sanity meditation challenge starts next week. We're super excited about this one—we've worked with our very wise meditation teachers from this Election Sanity podcast series to create a really unique set of daily lessons and meditations, all geared toward helping you keep your cool during the 2020 Election. If you'd like to join the Challenge, Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to start meditating your way through this Election season, and see you in the Challenge with thousands of other meditators. It starts on Tuesday, October 27th! Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tuere-sala-292

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Can Anxiety Be a Gift? | Dr. David Rosmarin

Can Anxiety Be a Gift? | Dr. David Rosmarin

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- This guest says you can thrive with anxiety. And the trick is learning to get comfortable with discomfort. Dr. David H. Rosmarin is an associate professor at Harvard Medical School, a program director at McLean Hospital, and founder of Center for Anxiety, which services over 1,000 patients/year in multiple states. His most recent book is Thriving with Anxiety: 9 Tools to Make Your Anxiety Work for You. In this episode we talk about: The difference between anxiety and stress How anxiety and distress can, paradoxically, improve our relationships with ourselves and others Why he's a proponent of exposure therapy How anxiety can be transmuted into love Why we often use anger to cover up fear and anxiety And the spiritual benefit of thinking the worst Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes:https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/david-rosmarin

20 Nov 202353min

Good Conflict | Amanda Ripley | An Episode From "On Being"

Good Conflict | Amanda Ripley | An Episode From "On Being"

Today we are dropping down our feed a conversation that I listened to recently that had a huge impact on me. It's from a great show that I'm sure many of you have heard of, On Being with Krista Tippett. It's been around for decades, and it explores the question of what it means to be human, how to do life better, how to live with each other in complex times. Krista Tippett is a recent friend of mine, somebody who I have long admired and really, like – she was on the show just recently. They've got a new season of their show going right now, over on the On Being feed, which I highly recommend you check out. They're doing episodes on the intelligence of the human body, what AI might be calling us to as human beings, and much more. They've also got a 20 year archive of conversations with people like Mary Oliver, John O'Donohue, and Desmond Tutu, which is pretty extraordinary. And this conversation, which, as I mentioned earlier, has had a big impact on me seems unfortunately quite relevant. It's about conflict and how to do it right: the difference between healthy conflict, which is an unavoidable part of life, and high conflict, which we see all around us these days, but which is avoidable.

17 Nov 20231h 5min

Become an Active Operator of Your Nervous System | Deb Dana

Become an Active Operator of Your Nervous System | Deb Dana

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Practical tools for regulating your nervous system in stressful times. Deb Dana is a licensed clinical social worker, clinician, and consultant who specializes in working with complex trauma. She is the author of Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory. In this episode we talk about: What polyvagal theory is The case for understanding our nervous system The practical tools and exercises for changing our nervous system and learning to become more regulated The fact that our nervous systems aren't simply isolated, self-contained phenomena – they are social structures Our responsibilities for our own nervous system and the nervous systems of others Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/deb-dana-rerun

15 Nov 202358min

A Radical Strategy for Dealing With Difficult People | Father Gregory Boyle

A Radical Strategy for Dealing With Difficult People | Father Gregory Boyle

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- We deal with difficult people over holiday meals, at work, and online. This guest says there is only one answer. Father Gregory Boyle is an American Jesuit priest and the founder of Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles, the largest gang-intervention, rehabilitation, and reentry program in the world. He has received the California Peace Prize and been inducted into the California Hall of Fame. In 2014, the White House named Boyle a Champion of Change. He received the University of Notre Dame's 2017 Laetare Medal, the oldest honor given to American Catholics. He is the author of The Whole Language, Tattoos on the Heart, and Barking to the Choir. In this episode we talk about: How Homeboy Industries began 34 years ago Boyle's practices for working with stress What he means when he says you have to put death in its place Motivating people through joy rather than admonition How to catch ourselves when we're about to demonize or be judgmental How to set boundaries How to dole out consequences without closing the doors to anybody And, Father Boyle's expansive and inclusive notion of God Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/gregory-boyle-rerun

13 Nov 20231h 4min

Deep, Provocative Success Strategies From the "Yoda of Silicon Valley" | Jerry Colonna

Deep, Provocative Success Strategies From the "Yoda of Silicon Valley" | Jerry Colonna

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- How getting your sh*t together can make you a better leader in your own personal orbit. It can maybe even change the world. Jerry Colonna is a leading executive coach who uses the skills he learned as a venture capitalist to help entrepreneurs. He is a co-founder and CEO of Reboot, the executive coaching and leadership development company, host of the Reboot Podcast, and author of Reunion: Leadership and the Longing to Belong, and Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up. In this episode we talk about: How to avoid the pitfalls of virtue signaling and self-righteousness The term, "reunion" and how it relates to the stories of our ancestors What he means by, "the longing to belong" How we can learn to "do our first works over" The difference between equality and equity And his framing of, "content and container" to help guide good leadership Related Episodes: Jerry Colonna, 'CEO Whisperer' and Reboot.io Founder The Art of Growing Up, Jerry Colonna Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/jerry-colonna

8 Nov 202359min

How to Repair the Damage After a Fight | Dr. Becky Kennedy

How to Repair the Damage After a Fight | Dr. Becky Kennedy

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. -- Plus, what happens if you don't repair, whether it's ever too late to repair, what "boundaries" actually are, and a helpful little tool for avoiding fights called the "MGI." Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and mom of three. She is the author of Good Inside and the host of the podcast Good Inside with Dr. Becky. Her new TED Talk is called "The single most important parenting strategy." In this episode we talk about: How to repair damage after a fight What happens if you don't repair Whether it's ever too late to offer a repair Whether "good inside" is a thesis for all of humanity Whether punishment is ever appropriate Dr. Becky's definition of "boundaries" A handy hack for avoiding fights called the "MGI" Whether or not Dr. Becky follows her own advice Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/becky-kennedy

6 Nov 20231h 10min

3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo

3 Buddhist Strategies for When the News is Overwhelming | Kaira Jewel Lingo

A former nun explains how to deal with doom-scrolling, despair, and rage in the face of world events. Kaira Jewel Lingo spent fifteen years as a monastic in Thich Nhat Hanh's Plum Village tradition. She is now a lay dharma teacher and is the author of We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons for Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption. In this episode we talk about: How to stop doom-scrolling and what to do instead Why it's more important, not less, to take care of yourself in times of crisis How to take concrete action that reduces suffering Stories and lessons from the life of Thich Nhat Hanh From Plum Village: An open letter to President Biden, guided meditations, and other resources Sign up for Dan's weekly newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/kaira-jewel-lingo-news

3 Nov 202342min

A More Relaxed Way to Meditate | Alexis Santos

A More Relaxed Way to Meditate | Alexis Santos

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- The meditation style that changed Dan's entire practice. Alexis Santos, has been practicing meditation for twenty years and was a student of a highly influential Burmese monk by the name of Sayadaw U Tejaniya. Alexis is also a core teacher in the Ten Percent Happier app and the lead teacher of our On The Go course. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/tph/podcast-episode/alexis-santos-rerun

3 Nov 202354min

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