Episode 34: Trying to Raise Adults

This week is Charles Barkley week. Since apparently we are just going to reference our favorite basketball player every week.

Though seriously, we talk about "How to Raise and Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success" by Julie Lythcott- Haims. She has a great TedTalk that you can listen to here, or you can purchase the book here.

It is a wonderful book that really has given us a lot to think about as we are raising all these kids, and what the negative repercussions of overparenting look like.

For example, she talked to the creator of this viral video: We are Millenials. We Suck, and we're sorry. And it's hilarious, and it's the face of what goes wrong when you overparent and raise entitled kids.

So, how should you parent your kids to be adults?

Read this book. Listen to this podcast. Talk to your friends. Make some changes.

Although, we said something in this episode which can easily be misconstrued, so let me clear the air here:

When talking about what we want for our foster kids, we said we want them to be healthy and happy. That's first and foremost. Because they have come from hard places, we don't place a lot of expectation on them. Not because we don't think they can achieve much. Not because we don't think they are as good as our bio kids. It's because we want them to just be kids. And then it makes us realize that we should want that for all our kids. Our bio kids too. Being an adult is hard. Let's let kids be kids, without forcing them into adulthood too quickly.

And with that being said, there are still things we can do for our kids, while they are kids, that will properly train them to be great adults one day. Like doing chores, learning to take initiative, speaking up for themselves, and so much more.

In this age of overparenting, we "remove risk, pain, and accountability" from our children's lives. We have to find that sweet balance of letting kids be kids, without raising adults who are still childish.

The (Good) Word of the Day:

"You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

Psalm 16:11

God is such a great Father. He makes known to us the path of life, and he fills us with joy by just being in his presence. And he is also filled with joy when we are in his presence. Because he is a great Father who loves us dearly. He doesn't care about our performance, or what we can do for him to make him look good. He simply loves us unconditionally.

Can we, as parents, love our kids in the same way? Can we love them no matter how they perform? Do our children feel filled with joy in our presence? Let us all work on loving all of our kids unconditionally!

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