67: Breaking Taboos in Sex & Relationships - Part 2

While we all know that open and honest communication is the key to relationships success, a recent University of California study found that there’s plenty of people would rather not know certain details about what their partner is up to! This is one of the big questions that people often struggle with, and are often at odds with, in non-monogamous relationships.  Some prefer the DADT - don’t ask, don’t tell - model where everything is unsaid. It’s a … I’d rather not know because what I don’t know won’t hurt me? However, as we said to a coaching client recently and talk about in this episode, when we avoid hearing from our partners about their experiences completely, our brains “fill in the blanks” and that story is often much worse than knowing the truth. There's others that LOVE to share all the details about their encounters with others and those that want to hear everything, but there's the matter of privacy of others to consider. And some people are ok with some details but want certain things left out.  We cover all these things and more in this exciting episode - How Much Do I Want To Know: From DADT to ALL the Juicy Details! And if you're newly navigating non-monogamy or facing some bumpy territory, we've got you! Our Poly Newbies Digital Course https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer - has a proven system that will provide you with a foundation for success! AND is now at a special price for our followers and our online community! Other Show References: Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery - our deeper dive program which includes coaching from us. New cohort starting October 2024! https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery  Book an Introductory Pay What You Can Coaching Call with Tara - https://go.taraandandre.com/pwyccoachingsession Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly  Find out more about us and services, programs and how to get awesome free resources at ⁠https://taraandandre.com/ ⁠

5 Aug 202444min

Personal boundaries… they’re the imaginary lines we can draw around ourselves to maintain balance and protect our bodies, minds, emotions, and time for ourselves and from the behaviour or demands of others.  Our boundaries are most effective when we are first clear about them ourselves and then when we communicate them to others. If you find it hard to share your boundaries, you are not alone.  Even  when someone crosses our boundaries (intentionally or unintentionally), common worries are that we are asking for too much, being too difficult or if we say something, they might not like us. In this episode you’ll learn: ✅ What personal boundaries are vs. agreements or rules we might have with our partner(s); ✅ Why boundaries are important (hint: it’s about you) ✅ How to set your boundaries; ✅ How to communicate them; and ✅ Why people want to know your boundaries Download our Building and Communicating My Personal Boundaries FREE WORKSHEET which will guide you in setting your boundaries and having them stick! If you'd like it to feel EASIER to communicate your boundaries and feel SECURE in your open or polyamorous relationship, we can help! Book a complimentary call where we can speak confidentially about your personal circumstances and how we can work together OR jump right into our Poly Newbies Digital Course or Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery coaching program which have proven systems that will provide you with a foundation for success! Show References: Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery Coaching Program - https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery  Poly Newbies Digital Course - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer Get the Free Building and Communicating Boundaries Worksheet - https://go.taraandandre.com/gettheworksheet Let’s Talk Polyamory Facebook Group & Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly  Find out more about us and services, programs and more at ⁠https://taraandandre.com/ Note this previously aired live in our Let’s Talk Polyamory Private Facebook Group where viewers shared comments which we read during this episode.

29 Juli 202442min

You’ve probably seen the various “rules” out there that attempt to cleverly use numbers to describe what you should or shouldn’t do in a relationship or when dating. Having rules and guidelines to follow to lead you to a desired outcome can be helpful and even comforting. Like the 2-2-2 one that suggests that couples should go on a date once every two weeks, spend a weekend away every two months and take a week-long vacation every two years. Others are just plain awful. There's the 6-6-6-6 rule that women with "high standards" should only look for men who are 6 feet tall, with a 6 inch 🍆, six figure salary and a six-pack! In this episode we take an informative and humorous look at these relationship rules, debunk the myths and as always provide expert solid advice on what things you might want to consider to have secure, successful and sexy polyamorous relationships! There's even some food talk in there to keep you entertained with references to yams, sausages and oysters! We would love to hear your take on these numerical rules, what your favorites were and any that we missed (good advice or otherwise). If you’re listening on Spotify you can now add comments to each episode! We want to continue to keep this podcast free and reach as many people as possible so it would help us a lot of you hit the like button, subscribe, share with your friends and write a review! Show references: Let's Talk Polyamory Online Dating Guide - https://go.letstalkpolyamory.com/onlinedatingguide Poly Newbies Digital Course - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer New Relationship Energy: The Awesome and the Awful - Season 1, Episode 21 - https://open.spotify.com/episode/6IbCK3XZ1louXULbFvAwyR?si=2DxjYeOaRQmep_H8wr8ZFA Week of Visibility for Non-Monogamy - https://www.weekofvisibility.com/ 8 Rules of Love by Jay Shetty - https://8rulesoflove.com/ The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider. Originally published in 1995 and they’ve followed up with several books on this. https://therulesbook.com/ Taryn Newton-Gill, Dating and Attachment Coach of Truer Love - https://www.truerlove.com/love-coaching

23 Juli 202453min

Have you heard the term ACCIDENTAL POLYAMORY? This is what some call those unexpected journeys that lead individuals and couples into exploring polyamory dynamics either as a willing participant or with some fear or resistance. In this episode, Accidental Polyamory: Now What? we cover 3 different unexpected scenarios one can find themselves in. Imagine you're in a monogamous relationship, and suddenly, one partner expresses a desire to explore consensual non-monogamy or open the relationship. How do you navigate those conversations and potential changes?  Or, picture this: you're single and enjoying the dating scene when you meet someone amazing, only to find out they are polyamorous. How do you handle being with someone with multiple partners, and determine if this is a relationship style that suits you? Maybe you’re already non-monogamous - like a swinger or in an open relationship - and then you or your partner start developing deeper emotional connections and want to shift to a more polyamorous model. How do you handle this significant change? We share other definitions and terms you might come across in these situations like cowboy/cowgirl and poly-bombing. Join us as we share real stories, expert insights, and practical advice for anyone finding themselves unexpectedly on the path to polyamory.  Whether you’re curious about polyamory, already practicing some form of non-monogamy or simply interested in the diverse ways people love and connect, this episode is for you! Resources referenced in this episode: S1 Ep21- NRE: The Awesome and the Awful https://open.spotify.com/episode/6IbCK3XZ1louXULbFvAwyR?si=C7mzQLx9ReSXw-POBvW2UQ  S1 Episodes 17 & 18 - How to Securely Transition Into Different Ways of Doing Consensual Non-Monogamy https://open.spotify.com/episode/0tknogIG4ATioM7uLmMrrt?si=CE4ylclOQsCyr5Jbtt2g-Q & https://open.spotify.com/episode/1VuLR3blPCLTOpuaKw0bcO?si=So2i9us1R2qtlpZbtddZUw Poly Newbies Digital Course Special Offer- ⁠https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiescourse⁠⁠ Find out more about us, our service and access some pretty cool resources at https://www.taraandandre.com/

16 Juli 202432min

Thinking about opening your relationship or diving into polyamory? It sounds thrilling and 🔥hot, right? Imagine the excitement of meeting new people and having the freedom to explore both emotional and sexual connections with them. For us, it's been an incredible and fulfilling journey, surpassing our wildest dreams. But, there are some unexpected risks and challenges that can threaten the security of any relationship. In this episode, we share our personal experiences and cover the things you'll want to be ready for including: ✨ Feeling different than you might imagine. ✨ How your attachment style and your partner(s)'s can influence your experiences. ✨ The gap between your expectations and reality. ✨ You don't know what you don't know. ✨ You might not be as great a communicator as think you are and you'll need to communicate more than you'd expect. ✨ You are not as prepared as you believe! We share specific examples for each point and provide insights on how to better prepare yourself for the unexpected as you navigate your personal journey! Resources referenced in this episode: - Poly Newbies Digital Course - https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiescourse⁠ - S1E8 podcast episode: How is My Attachment Style Impacting My Relationships  - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3KUuTKZQKRNHBISBeynIvq?si=R2jyYOCDT1ueCM4BgIzatQ  - Attachment Quiz - https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/  - S1E5 podcast episode: Sex Parties 101: A Guide to Being the Best Host and Great Guest - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3cOwAFpV7tpRgR56tzRtvf?si=ZRUMtrsaSp-VBd83LUyM2g  * all podcast episodes also available on Apple and YouTube podcasts, Amazon Music and iHeart Radio

8 Juli 202445min

At some point in your journey towards non-monogamy someone you know has likely said to you "I could never do that. I'm too jealous!" Maybe you've even wondered this about yourself or have been afraid that you aren't cut out for non-monogamy given some of the strong feelings you've felt. While jealousy is one of the main things that people are challenged with when opening a relationship or experiencing polyamory for the first time, and it can be intense and feel all consuming, there are ways of understanding your jealousy and finding of ways to work through these feelings so that you can shift to being neutral or even experiencing compersion! 💖 Pinky swear! And... a little myth busting... the reality is that most non-monogamous people experience jealousy or insecurity under certain circumstances from time to time. The key is to learn how to be less impacted by it. In this episode of the Let’s Talk Polyamory Podcast we dive into this topic and share with you the 6 things you can do starting now to feel more secure in your relationships! Resources referenced in this episode: Our courses and programs ❤️Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery at ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery⁠ and our ⚡️Poly Newbies Digital Course at https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer Book a Pay What You Can Coaching Session with Tara at ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/pwyccoachingsession⁠  Sign up to get our FREE Jealousy Worksheet at https://go.taraandandre.com/gettheworksheet  Find out more about us and the services we offer as well as access some other great resources on our website at: ⁠https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠

1 Juli 202449min

New Relationship Energy, or NRE, sometimes gets a bad rap in polyamory as while one person may be experiencing the highs of being with someone new, others that they are in relationships may feel left behind, or jealous or find it threatening to the security of that connection... hence the "awful" But it’s not all about putting out forest fires.  There’s nothing wrong with new relationship energy in itself, and in fact it can be an "awesome" experience for all involved.  One of the amazing things about polyamory is that it allows people to experience all the magic of new love without destroying long-term, stable relationships in the process - and may even breathe new energy and pleasure into them! There are always considerations or things to navigate whether you’re the person experiencing the NRE with someone new, the new person or the people they are in relationships with. We talk about all of these things and more in this podcast episode! We want to encourage and support spreading the word of polyamory and normalize it as a valid relational identity - one which can be secure and long-lasting! To help you and others to learn more, we’ve decided to reduce our profit on our 7-Module Poly Newbies Digital Course so that more people can access this valuable resource. You can find this special offer at https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiesspecialoffer You can book a Pay What You Can Coaching Session with Tara at ⁠https://go.taraandandre.com/pwyccoachingsession⁠  Want to know more about us, find out about our other coaching and therapy services or book us for your event or podcast? 👉 ⁠https://taraandandre.com/⁠

25 Juni 202451min

In this episode of the Let's Talk Polyamory Podcast we are open up our polyamory dictionary and cover a ton of common definitions and terms you may come across as you navigate consensual non-monogamy: Metamour Kitchen, Parallel and Garden Party Polyamory Solo Polyamory Polycules V (Vee) Relationships and being a Hinge Primary, Satellite and Comet Partners Unicorns, Bulls and Rhinos Unicorn Hunting Couple’s Privilege Threesomes, Triads and Throuples Relationship Anarchy Jelalousy and Compersion We cover common myths you might hear (like that you MUST get to know and like your metamours) and how terms and labels such as these are useful to help identify yourself and why you still need to ask someone what their definitions are so you are on the same page in understanding. And of course it wouldn't be our podcast if we didn't share some of our personal stories including how our relationship fits into multiple "styles" and how being with others who are different than each other doesn’t take away from our relationship, but instead is one of the things that enhances our relationship and why polyamory is such a great fit for us! Resources referenced in this episode: Our courses and programs ❤️Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery at https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery  and our ⚡️Poly Newbies Digital Course at https://courses.letstalkpolyamory.com/polynewbiescourse  You can book a Pay What You Can Coaching Session with Tara at https://go.taraandandre.com/pwyccoachingsession  Want to know more about us, find out about our other coaching and therapy services or book us for your event or podcast? 👉 https://taraandandre.com/

17 Juni 202442min