The Psychology of JonBenet Ramsey (Chap 5 - Intruder Did It)

Dr Kirk Honda reacts to mental health hot takes from the listeners. November 21, 2025 This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.00:00 Intro01:16 Self-care culture can cause undue pressure03:42 Teachers should be banned from using mental health terms11:04 Autistic individuals are frequently misdiagnosed with Borderline18:04 Humor is the best coping mechanism18:13 Those in the US are prone to exaggeration 19:27 Excessive screen time impacts our mental health25:21 We don't all suddenly have ADHD 27:33 People with personality disorders shouldn't be politicians 30:10 Frequent trauma reflection can become unhealthy wallowing40:16 People use diagnosis as an excuse for bad behaviors41:00 It's OK to use Borderline language without a diagnosis42:33 Authenticity with clients is not about full transparency46:35 Narcissism is both over and under diagnosed47:10 Shame isn't always bad50:05 Medication doesn't work for everyone52:08 People with psychosis can benefit from talk therapy55:28 You can cut out those that negatively impact your life56:36 Therapists only validate their clients1:00:20 Romantic love is unethical1:00:58 Trauma dumping is a quick way of rescinding empathy 1:01:10 It is too much work to become a mental health professional1:08:13 There's too many types of psychotherapy1:14:38 Boundaries are just a way to be avoidant 1:15:50 Understanding mental illness is still in infancy1:22:12 Embrace being average1:26:10 DID is a trauma response not a personality disorder1:30:31 Mental health issues come from family of origin trauma1:30:46 EMDR can do more harm than good1:33:52 Imposter syndrome points to grandiosity rather than humility1:37:48 Social media isn't harmful per se, just in our societal context 1:38:09 Client-centered therapists "just" listen1:39:37 CBT is for therapists who are afraid of doing real work1:42:08 You can't love yourself without being loved by others1:44:54 Can someone be in love with two people at once?1:51:22 Schema therapy is the best model1:54:35 Mandatory therapy should be paid for by the government1:57:23 Eclectic therapists don't understand any model well enough1:59:10 Stop focusing on your mental health2:03:14 Organized attachment is the exception, not the norm2:05:09 Those in open relationships just have insecure attachment2:09:29 It's not easy being greenBecome a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

21 Nov 2h 10min

[Rerun] Dr. Kirk Honda talks about being afraid of your therapist. January 21, 2016This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

20 Nov 29min

Dr Kirk Honda reacts to mental health hot takes from the listeners. November 19, 2025This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.00:00 Intro01:16 There should be therapy for friends03:55 Therapists incentivise their clients to act immorally 04:41 Self improvement is a loop that leads to dissatisfaction 05:37 There is a lack of resilience of those born after 199012:09 Highlighting your inner child implies adults shouldn't act like that 13:36 Modalities of therapy are just placebo14:57 Post-partum is just pathologizing women  18:24 People with high trauma & anxiety hide behind introversion21:46 Diffusion of mental health concepts complicates conversation22:09 Psychopaths can be good people24:35 Too many people have ADHD24:55 Poor mental health is persisted by poor living conditions27:13 Licensed experts should have social media badges 31:55 People need to learn how to deal with discomfort32:17 Disassociation should be prevented34:38 'I don't owe anyone anything' makes society cold35:09 Caring vs. worrying for myself35:41 Pathology vs human experience37:26 Some cultures need less therapy38:14 Self diagnosis should not be taken seriously38:35 Jungian typology is helpful38:46 Emergency responders struggle the most with their relationships40:35 Those that put others above themself care less about themself40:57 Empowering women intimidates men 42:09 Too much therapy can be harmful42:45 Beating yourself doesn't lead to healing43:12 Avoiding hugs is from trauma47:26 There is no such thing as faking mental illness for attention 51:08 Online dating advice is useless 53:39 You can be autistic and an asshole54:24 Not showing up for your friends isn't holding boundariesBecome a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything yo

19 Nov 1h 8min

[Rerun] Dr. Kirk and Humberto talk about sexual fantasies. November 2, 2018This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

18 Nov 58min

Dr Kirk Honda reacts to mental health hot takes from the listeners. November 17, 2025This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.00:00 Intro03:21 Post-communist regimes breeds fearful avoidance06:04 Patriarchy is the reason we say 'big egos'11:05 First time clients should read a transference for dummies14:32 More than one thing can be true at once14:42 Catatonia is much more common than realized15:27 Anxiously attached people have weaponized attachment theory17:25 Mob think makes the reasonable unreasonable18:47 Psychologists are the police of capitalism20:30 Spirituality has benefit to mental health25:01 Emergency mental health services are more harmful than helpful38:54 Personality disorders will eventually be obsolete45:18 'Being strong' is just hiding your feelings45:52 Most people take illegal drugs to manage their mental health46:50 Good mental health begins and ends with compassion47:01 Mental health is incompatible with modernity 50:28 Too much self reflection isn't helpful57:20 "I have anxiety" is an excuse for cowardice1:00:13 You don't need a new diagnosis, you need movementBecome a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

17 Nov 1h 1min

Bobisode! Dr Kirk and Bob answer patron emails. (Intro) November 14, 2025 This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.00:00 Exposure with social anxietyBecome a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

14 Nov 18min

[Rerun] Dr. Kirk Honda and Humberto talk about the NXIVM cult and the recent arrests of the leaders, Keith Raniere and Allison Mack. Is Raniere a psychopath? Was Allison Mack a victim of Stockholm syndrome? Why do people join cults? February 11, 2019This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

13 Nov 2h 11min

Dr Kirk Honda, with Isaiah from the Therapy Today YouTube channel, reacts to mental health hot takes from the listeners. November 12, 2025This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.00:00 Introducing Isaiah03:42 Are kinky people deranged?06:00 Do new therapists just think it's cool?11:14 What is limerence?16:58 Why did Isaiah start TherapyToday channel21:37 What does TherapyToday cover?23:20 Is a good friend better than a therapist?25:42 Does being an empath come from trauma? Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://psychologyinseattle-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

12 Nov 34min