Breaking Out of the Man Box: Tony Porter and Kimya Motley on Healing, Accountability, and Regeneration

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual and physical abuse, which may be distressing for some listeners. Please take care while listening.

In this episode of Regenerative Mindset, I’m joined by two extraordinary leaders reshaping the way we think about masculinity, healing, and community: Tony Porter, CEO of A Call to Men, and Kimya Motley, the organization’s Chief Communications Officer. Together, they are transforming cultural narratives around manhood and violence prevention and building a movement rooted in compassion, accountability, and respect.

Tony Porter is an internationally recognized educator, activist, and author of Breaking Out of the Man Box. His groundbreaking work with A Call to Men has influenced institutions from the NFL and NBA to the U.S. military and the United Nations. Named by GQ Magazine as one of the “Top 10 TED Talks Every Man Should See,” Tony continues to challenge the rigid norms that teach boys to disconnect from their emotions, silence their empathy, and dominate rather than relate. His mission is clear: to call men into the movement—not out of shame, but toward responsibility and love.

Joining him is Kimya Motley, an author, educator, and domestic violence survivor whose story of resilience has inspired millions through Red Table Talk, Essence Magazine, and her powerful memoir Born of Violence. As a national leader in violence prevention and director of A Call to Men’s documentary Intentionally Erased, Kimya brings both heart and clarity to the urgent conversation about healing across gender and racial lines.

Together, Tony and Kimya speak candidly about dismantling the “man box”, the narrow social code that harms men and women alike, and how breaking free allows for personal and cultural regeneration. We explore the intersections of trauma and transformation, how silence from “good men” perpetuates harm, and why true healing demands both accountability and empathy.

This conversation is deeply human, full of truth, humor, and hard-earned wisdom. It’s about shifting from domination to connection, from violence to care, and from isolation to community. Tony and Kimya remind us that regeneration begins in the heart with courage, humility, and the willingness to see one another fully.

For more on their work, visit acalltomen.org or follow A Call to Men on Instagram @acalltomen.

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