How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

If you’ve ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home. Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I’m joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts. We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: Why It’s Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship 07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust 10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy 18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs 26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection 30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness 35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick 37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you’re okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself. If communication is adding to the tension, try my Communication that Connects Masterclass. It’s a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away! You might also like my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz. It’s quick, gives you language for what’s happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care. Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

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#368 - Post-Traumatic Growth

#368 - Post-Traumatic Growth

Post traumatic growth is a real phenomenon. After traumatic things happen to us, we don’t stay broken forever. We learn and grow from our most difficult experiences and use them to live more meaningful lives.  But all of that can feel out of reach when you’re in the depths of a traumatic loss. This episode will help you begin to move in the direction of growth and healing, so you can reap the benefits of post traumatic growth.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

25 Sep 202346min

#367 - Tools for Surviving Infidelity

#367 - Tools for Surviving Infidelity

You know that infidelity is survivable… but it doesn’t always feel that way when it’s happening to you. Being cheated on by someone you love and trust is a profoundly painful experience. You need some practical tools to process what happened, heal your heart, and begin moving forward again.  This episode is about the tools that will help you survive infidelity and come out the other side stronger than before. I hope you’ll join me.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

18 Sep 20231h 6min

#366 - How to Connect with an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

#366 - How to Connect with an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

When you feel like you can’t connect deeply with someone you love, it’s painful. It’s common for people in relationships with emotionally unavailable partners to blame themselves, and believe that if they could just be perfect enough, then their emotionally unavailable partner would magically become responsive and available for the kind of relationship that they want to have.  This mindset makes you feel bad about yourself, and unfortunately, it can push your emotionally unavailable partner even further away. So what should you do? That’s what we’re exploring on this episode of the podcast. I hope it helps you see where your relationship’s growth opportunities are, and make choices that are right for you.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

11 Sep 202350min

#365 - Setting Boundaries at Work

#365 - Setting Boundaries at Work

When you struggle to set boundaries at work, it doesn’t just intrude on your personal life, it makes it harder for you to achieve your vision of career success. Learn how to set healthy limits with coworkers, achieve work-life balance, and deal with a boss that doesn’t respect your boundaries.  All of that and more on this episode of the podcast.  Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

4 Sep 20231h 3min

#364 - How to Let Go of the Past

#364 - How to Let Go of the Past

Do you feel haunted by the past? Whether you’re struggling with regret, anger, or grief, having unfinished business with the past can keep you feeling stuck. But you can let go of the past and begin moving forward, and this episode will show you how.  I hope you join me for this one, all about how to let go of the past and start looking forward.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

28 Aug 20231h 2min

#363 - Why We Fall Out of Love (and What to Do About It)

#363 - Why We Fall Out of Love (and What to Do About It)

Long term relationships can get a little stale when you don’t know how to keep love alive over the long haul. It’s very common for couples to believe they’ve fallen out of love when this happens. But a stronger, more fulfilling relationship is possible, and on this episode of the podcast, I’m going to tell you how.  I hope it gives you hope for your relationship and guidance on how to bridge the gap so you can feel in love with your partner again.  Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

21 Aug 202357min

#362 - Navigating Pregnancy as a Team

#362 - Navigating Pregnancy as a Team

Smart couples recognize that pregnancy is more than a growing-a-baby waiting game. It is a prime opportunity to work through important relationship issues and strengthen your relationship. Having a baby can feel like it’s the Pregnant Lady Show, rather than an experience that you and your partner are working through together. But the journey of pregnancy, and the challenges it offers, are opportunities for growth — for both of you.  Using these moments during pregnancy will help you know how to work as a team, improve your communication, increase your emotional intimacy, support your emotional wellbeing, and lay the foundation for the happy, healthy family life you want for yourselves and your child... but only if you know how. This episode is going to teach you how to turn the pregnancy into a positive relationship growth experience, by navigating the pregnancy experience as a team. My guests D’Anthony and Rachel Ward are experts on this subject, and today they're sharing their wisdom with you. Join us! Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com PS: I have so much more to support you and your family in my "Happy Families" content collection. Tap in to find expert advice from the marriage and family therapists and parenting coaches on my team, as well as curated podcast playlists just for you.

14 Aug 20231h 4min

#361 - Avoid the Communication Killer: Negative Sentiment Override

#361 - Avoid the Communication Killer: Negative Sentiment Override

There’s a sneaky relationship killer lurking in your communication… but you’ve probably never heard of it.  Negative sentiment override happens when you get into the habit of reacting negatively to your partner because of bad past experiences, even when it’s not really called for in the present. It makes it hard to let go of the past and make positive changes for the future, and it can keep you feeling bogged down in unsatisfying relationship patterns.  In this episode, I’m teaching you what negative sentiment override is, why it happens, and how you can break the cycle for a stronger relationship.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

7 Aug 202346min

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