How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

Feeling judged is difficult at any time, but as we lead up to the holidays, I begin to hear from many therapy and life coaching clients that feeling judged or criticized during family gatherings creates a ton of anxiety. On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm diving deeply into this topic, in order to help you find strategies to stop feeling judged (while you're staying true to yourself and your values).  We'll discuss: Why it's so important to get clear about your values before heading into emotionally fraught situations with family and in-laws How to decide where to be flexible and where to hold firm in your interactions with others How to let go of your need for approval from others What to prioritize in order to help yourself make decisions and be less reactive The secret strategy to help yourself be okay… even when others are not How to practice compassion for self and others All this, and more, on this episode of the podcast. All the best,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

18 Nov 201949min

I often share relationship advice geared towards helping you proactively solve problems, practice good communication, and tackle tough issues before they become explosive... but that doesn't always happen. Sometimes, couples just have a terrible fight where they both say mean things to each other and feel like they damaged their relationship in the process. Has this just happened in your relationship? Have you just had a nasty fight, and now you're looking for help to get your relationship back on track? You're in the right place: Today I'm sharing my top tips for how to calm down, get back on track, and not just repair your relationship after a fight — but USE this experience to help your relationship grow and improve. PLUS, your questions about what to do when they're frequent fighting. All for you! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

11 Nov 201945min

Do you have a running commentary in your head about all your mistakes, faults and shortcomings?   It's so painful. It's so exhausting. It's also so common — especially in high-achieving, successful types. (Ironically). Yes, the people who seem pretty darn close to perfect in the eyes of others are often the ones struggling the most to feel peaceful and self-accepting. Can you relate? Do you feel like you're never doing enough? Or like you have to be perfect (but even when you are, it could still be better? If so, the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is for you. We're going to be talking about how to stop beating yourself up, even if (and especially if) you're going through life circumstances that make you more vulnerable to beating yourself up. How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Specifically, we're discussing: Why You Beat Yourself Up How to stop beating yourself up for mistakes How to stop beating yourself up for past mistakes (that feel big) How to stop beating yourself up over mistakes at work How to stop beating yourself up after a breakup How to stop beating yourself up for not being perfect Listen to this episode to learn how to start pushing back against this "inner bully"  so that you can cultivate self-compassion, feel less insecure, feel good about yourself, and take pride in your many accomplishments so that you can own your awesome. You are worth it!  All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com PS: What's on YOUR mind these days? Have a question or a suggestion for an upcoming blog or podcast? I'm listening! Feel free to drop anything in the comments of this episode (here) or via this secure form.

4 Nov 201945min

Without understanding your subconscious self, it's very difficult to create real and lasting change in your life and in your relationships. You can try to make changes, but if your subconscious mind has other motivations.... it's going to win every time. Today, we're discussing:   Why high level "solutions" will not be effective unless you understand your subconscious self Why your subconscious brain can sabotage you   How to get insight into your subconscious mind   How to use self-awareness to gain control over your subconscious   Ways of strengthening your intuition, creativity and inner wisdom All that, and more, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

28 Okt 20191h 1min

BECOMING EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY: Feelings. They happen to everyone, all the time. And yet, we don't always acknowledge them or talk about our feelings, much less take guidance from our emotions. Particularly in our culture, individuals and couples on a quest of "Happiness" can come to believe that being happy means being relatively free of dark emotions, like anger, sadness or fear. In fact, the opposite is true: Research shows that the happiest, most emotionally healthy people are actually the ones who are most comfortable with the full range of their emotions. Emotionally healthy people tend to be both self-accepting and self-aware: They know how they feel, and they have a great deal of tolerance and self-compassion when they're not feeling so great emotionally. They don't try to avoid bad feelings, and they also know how to (gently, appropriately) support themselves through challenging times.  Emotional Health: Finding a Balance Emotionally healthy people tend to be attuned to their emotions (and those of others). They know how to "lean in" to hard feelings with acceptance and without judgment. However, even though they're fully connected with their feelings they may not always react or take action from their emotions. A core component of authentic emotional health is knowing which feelings to listen to and which feelings to leave alone. It can be hard to develop emotional health and learn how to stay in balance between taking wisdom from your emotions, but not always "obeying them. Learning how to tell the difference between helpful and unhelpful feelings, helps you develop self-compassion, self-understanding, and self-control.  Becoming Emotionally Healthy is a Personal Growth Process A key aspect of holistic personal growth is learning how to have an authentic, self-aware, and sensitive relationship with your own emotions. This kind of powerful personal growth work often addresses:  The life experiences that shaped your emotional reality and core beliefs Acknowledging any unfinished business with the past Identifying and understanding your unique emotional triggers Figuring out which feelings are guiding you helpfully Using your emotions to connect with your hopes, dreams and values Pinpointing the emotions that are getting in your way Developing self-compassionand acceptance of feelings without judgment Learning how to cope with big, dark emotions in a healthy way Learning how to stay in balance emotionally, no matter what's going on It's a lot! While this type of personal growth work often takes months (if not years) of focused attention in therapy or life coaching,it's so worth it. Becoming emotionally healthy is a foundational life skill for anyone on the path of self-actualization.  The Benefits of Cultivating Emotional Health Learning how to manage your emotions skillfully allows you to have better relationships with others, feel happier, improve your self-esteem, and also create a meaningful, values-based life for yourself. It's worth talking about, and that's where we're going together today on The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. In addition to talking through all of the above, I'm answering some specific listener questions like: "How do I get my emotions under control and stop being so reactive?" "How do I stop allowing my anxiety to get in the way of my relationships?" "How do I feel less numb and 'blah' and more engaged with my life?"” All for YOU, on this episode of the podcast.  See you there! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: Resources I mentioned on today's show include the "Happy Heart" unit of my online Happiness Class, as well as a self-soothing breathing technique I shared on IGTV.   PPS: Once again, I recorded this episode LIVE on Instagram so that I could answer some real-time listener questions. If you'd like to join next time, follow me @drlisamariebobbyand you'll see me LIVE in your stories (almost) every Monday at 12pm MT. Hope to see you there! LMB

21 Okt 20191h 7min

Modern dating is complex and challenging. I've had so many listener questions about dating coming in lately, that I just had to address them on a podcast! In particular, we're diving deep and talking through some of the more complicated aspects of "dating life" that many people struggle with, like: What to do when you're terribly sad about being single? How do you know if you're ready to date after a bad breakup or divorce? If you're a single parent, when should you tell the kids about your new relationship? How do you trust a new person if you've been betrayed in the past? All that, and more, on this episode... Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com   PS: Do YOU have questions? Ask away!

14 Okt 20191h 8min

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your life? Like you have so much to do and you're always busy, but also like you're not actually getting things done? Or, worse, are you SO busy that things are actually starting to fall through the cracks? Eek! This is incredibly stressful, and yet so many people are struggling with it: Especially conscientious, hardworking and responsible types. If this is a "pain point" for you, too, I hope you join me on this episode, to learn about: What types of core belief and approaches to life lead to feelings of overwhelm How perfectionism and over achievement is correlated with being LESS successful How stress leads to anxiety (and too much anxiety leads to paralysis) The type of mindset that helps you do more (and feel happier at the same time) How to recognize when you're spiraling into burnout and how to stop it How to do a "hard reset" on overwhelm and start getting things done How to get reconnected to your true values, goals and priorities What to focus on first if you're spiraling Strategies to help you identify and focus on what is truly important (and say buh-bye to the rest) Surprising tips and tricks to relax your body and mind, and enter a state of focused productivity All for YOU, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

8 Okt 20191h 11min

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: How well do you understand other people? How well do you understand yourself? Do you know how to handle emotionally sensitive moments?    Because emotional intelligence skills really are so important, I decided to devote an entire episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to helping you understand emotional intelligence and how to improve emotional intelligence.  Listen, and learn: Signs of low emotional intelligence Consequences of low emotional intelligence Why some people have higher emotional intelligence than others Emotional intelligence and empathy Why self-awareness is the key first step to developing emotional intelligence How to improve emotional intelligence How to tell if you're emotionally intelligent or not Different emotional intelligence quizzes and assessment strategies Specific exercises to improve emotional intelligence.   All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps: Get access to the resources we discussed in this episode on the post for this episode here.

23 Sep 20191h 4min