1226: James Kimmel, Jr. | No Even Scores in the Science of Revenge

1226: James Kimmel, Jr. | No Even Scores in the Science of Revenge

Your brain on revenge looks like your brain on drugs. Here, Dr. James Kimmel, Jr. explores the neuroscience of vengeance and the power of forgiveness.

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1226

What We Discuss with James Kimmel, Jr.:

  • Revenge activates the same brain circuitry as drug addiction. When we experience grievances, our brain's pain centers light up, triggering cravings for revenge that activate the nucleus accumbens and dorsal striatum — the same pleasure and addiction pathways used by cocaine, gambling, and alcohol. This explains why revenge feels temporarily euphoric but leaves us wanting more.
  • Most violence stems from perceived victimization, not inherent evil. Nearly all forms of human violence — from playground bullying to terrorism and genocide — originate from revenge-seeking behavior. The perpetrator almost always views themselves as a victim first, making revenge the root cause of mass shootings, intimate partner violence, gang conflicts, and even war.
  • Imagined grievances trigger real revenge desires with real-world consequences. It doesn't matter whether victimization is real or manufactured — if it feels real in your head, it produces genuine revenge cravings. This explains how leaders like Hitler used the "stab in the back" myth to mobilize a nation, and why mass shooters nurse perceived slights that no one else remembers.
  • Revenge addiction destroys relationships and keeps you trapped in the past. Unlike self-defense (which protects your future), revenge always looks backward, creating a preoccupation with past wrongs. It damages every relationship, increases anger and anxiety, and paradoxically makes you feel worse after the initial dopamine hit fades — all while fearing retaliation.
  • Forgiveness is the neurological cure — and you can learn it. Science now shows we're hardwired for forgiveness as much as revenge. Forgiveness actually stops pain rather than just covering it up, shuts down revenge cravings, and reactivates your prefrontal cortex. Dr. Kimmel's "Nonjustice System" — a role-play trial method tested at Yale — gives you a practical way to be heard, hold someone accountable in your mind, and ultimately release yourself from past wounds. More tools and insights coming in part two later this week.
  • And much more...

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Avsnitt(1238)

229: Cameron Herold | Making the Most of Your Bipolar Superpowers

229: Cameron Herold | Making the Most of Your Bipolar Superpowers

Cameron Herold (@cameronherold) is the mastermind behind hundreds of companies' exponential growth, former COO of 1-800-GOT-JUNK, founder of the COO Alliance, and author of five books, including Double Double: How to Double Your Revenue and Profit in 3 Years or Less. What We Discuss with Cameron Herold: Understanding the personal and professional ups and downs of the entrepreneurial roller coaster. Why having bipolar disorder and/or ADHD might actually be advantageous for someone who runs a business. 11 questions you can ask to discover more about your entrepreneurial proclivities. Navigating the five stages of the entrepreneur's transition curve. What an entrepreneur's friends, family, and colleagues should know about his or her unique superpowers and quirks. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/229 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Mind Pump is an online radio show/podcast dedicated to providing truthful fitness and health information. It is sometimes raw, sometimes shocking, and is always entertaining and helpful. Jack up your ears with some Mind Pump wisdom here! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

25 Juli 201954min

228: Oliver Bullough | Why Thieves and Crooks Rule the World

228: Oliver Bullough | Why Thieves and Crooks Rule the World

Oliver Bullough (@OliverBullough) is a journalist, a regular contributor to The Guardian, and author of Moneyland: Why Thieves And Crooks Now Rule The World And How To Take It Back. What We Discuss with Oliver Bullough: How corrupt leaders pilfer everything from wildlife reserves, banks, and even national healthcare systems. How this type of graft corrupts society and leads to other crime and unrest -- such as terrorism and flawed elections. How corruption filters down the economic food chain, harming children and those who can't defend themselves. How dark money can be used for a host of unsavory purposes, and why it's nearly impossible to uncover it because of shell corporations, passports for sale, and the fact that dark money knows no borders. What we might do to begin reeling in this lopsided power structure from its offshore roots in a way that benefits the fair-playing majority. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/228 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! SquadCast is remote interview recording software used by professional podcasters that overcomes the quality restrictions of its competitors. Start your free trial by going to SquadCast.com and hear the difference today! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

23 Juli 20191h 22min

227: How to Communicate with Stinkers and Deadbeats | Feedback Friday

227: How to Communicate with Stinkers and Deadbeats | Feedback Friday

When you've got coworkers who literally stink enough to make your olfactory system protest with tears of sadness and deadbeat roommates who won't pay rent and try to convince you to let their online romantic interests move into your very real space, you need to listen to this Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/227. On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: You try to be positive, but when your longtime coworker is negative, pessimistic, petty, and literally stinky, how obligated are you to put up with it? You try to be positive, but when your longtime roommate is a deadbeat trying to move their online romantic interest in, how obligated are you to put up with it? You're an effortless jack of all trades, but a master of none. Should you be more motivated to excel, or just grateful for what you have and enjoy life? How do you get your extended family to understand that you and your spouse's busy entrepreneurial lifestyle makes free time a valuable resource? As a freelancer, how do you manage (mentally and financially) the slow growth periods of the year? You literally have OCD and can't stand being touched by strangers. How do you handle the would-be huggers and handshakers you meet without being rude? As a young worker in a relatively low-paying position, how do you request a raise if one isn't given or negotiate a slightly higher one if offered? Thanks to DNA testing, you've discovered your mother's been lying to you about the identity of your father for 40 years. How do you cope with this bombshell? Life Pro Tip: Before giving a previous job as reference, have a friend pretending to be a potential employer call them asking about you — this way you avoid derailing your job hunt. A quick shoutout to 11-year-old listener Ruby Johnson! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Juli 201952min

226: Justin Paperny | Lessons From Prison

226: Justin Paperny | Lessons From Prison

Justin Paperny (@justinpaperny) was a successful stockbroker who made some bad decisions and wound up serving 18 months in prison for violating securities laws. Now he helps others prepare for time behind bars and after. He's the author of Lessons From Prison. What We Discuss with Justin Paperny: What happens when white-collar criminals go to jail. Why otherwise good people might find themselves on the wrong end of the justice system. How someone prepares to do time inside a federal prison -- and what they can expect once they leave. How easy it can be for people to rationalize criminal behavior and lose control of their moral compass. Why Justin counts his 18 months behind bars as one of the best experiences of his life. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/226 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Mind Pump is an online radio show/podcast dedicated to providing truthful fitness and health information. It is sometimes raw, sometimes shocking, and is always entertaining and helpful. Jack up your ears with some Mind Pump wisdom here! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

18 Juli 20191h 17min

225: Kim Scott | Care Personally, Challenge Directly with Radical Candor

225: Kim Scott | Care Personally, Challenge Directly with Radical Candor

Kim Scott (@kimballscott) is a co-founder of Radical Candor, LLC and author of Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity. What We Discuss with Kim Scott: How the best lessons about management can be learned from our worst bosses. Why the worst bosses aren’t necessarily the worst people in the world, and how relating to them as human beings makes challenging their bad decisions easier. How then-Google executive Sheryl Sandberg changed an important aspect of Kim’s long-term career potential by caring personally, but challenging directly when spotting room for improvement. The four quadrants of the Radical Candor framework. How conscientious bosses can avoid promoting ruinous empathy, manipulative insincerity, and obnoxious aggression. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/225 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Disgraceland is a true crime podcast about musicians getting away with murder. If you love true crime and you love music, get ready to love Disgraceland here! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

16 Juli 20191h 8min

224: How to Delete Facebook Without Falling off the Planet | Feedback Friday

224: How to Delete Facebook Without Falling off the Planet | Feedback Friday

You've been considering deleting your Facebook account for quite some time, but a close relative seemed shocked you would consider such a thing -- as if deleting Facebook would somehow delete you from the face of the earth. How can you delete Facebook without becoming persona non grata in your circle of family and friends, and since when did social media become mandatory for your very existence in their eyes? And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/224. On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Got a question about relationships, sex, or dating for therapist Emily Morse? Drop us a line and we'll pass it along for a future episode! You have a severe fear of public speaking and hate yourself for performing poorly when you've given it a try. How can you overcome this? You'd like to keep two ex-flames in your network, but they can't seem to stay in contact without trying to rekindle a relationship you don't want. Should these connections be salvaged? What do you do when you feel like you must choose between a life you want to live or the less desirable life that could help your parents financially? Do you ever have to choose between taking some magical leap or playing it safe when it comes to entrepreneurship? How do you ensure the people you befriend on LinkedIn are quality connections rather than opportunistic junk mailers? Are you obligated to endure the presence of an aggressively transactional networker in your community? How can you delete your Facebook account without falling off the face of the planet? Life Pro Tip: Close to missing your flight? Go to a help center, request wheelchair assistance, have them push you through the airport in record time, and tip big! Recommendation of the Week: Running from COPS -- Headlong Season 3 Quick shoutouts to Bri and T! Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

12 Juli 201954min

223: Bryan Johnson | A Plan for the Future of the Human Race

223: Bryan Johnson | A Plan for the Future of the Human Race

Bryan Johnson (@bryan_johnson) is an entrepreneur, venture capitalist, and founder and CEO of Kernel, a company developing advanced neural interfaces, and OS Fund, a venture capital firm that invests in early-stage science and technology companies. What We Discuss with Bryan Johnson: Why humanity needs to co-evolve with artificial intelligence if we are to survive as a species. What future literacy is and why it's crucial for understanding the role humanity will play in the decades to come. The steps being taken to comprehend what makes biological systems fail in order to improve their capabilities. How privacy inequality could create more of a disparity between people than economic disparity ever could. Why Bryan advises us to be skeptical of advice -- and how we can discern between what's applicable to our own situation and what's completely useless. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/223 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Live your best life online with Dashlane -- the safe, simple way to store and fill passwords and personal information. Find out how Dashlane keeps you secure where others fail and get 10 percent off for being one of the first 200 to try it at dashlane.com/jordan! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

11 Juli 20191h 13min

222: Matt McCarthy | The Race to Stop a Superbug Epidemic

222: Matt McCarthy | The Race to Stop a Superbug Epidemic

Matt McCarthy (@drmattmccarthy) is an assistant professor of medicine at Weill Cornell, a staff physician at New York-Presbyterian Hospital, and the author of Superbugs: The Race to Stop an Epidemic. What We Discuss with Matt McCarthy: How antibiotics are abused on a large scale by industrial agriculture, prescription-happy doctors, and mysophobic hand washers. Why antibiotic abuse is resulting in the fast-track evolution of once easily vanquished bacteria into superbugs from which we have no known protection. How herd immunity works, and why you may be at risk for contracting a once-eradicated disease thanks to anti-vaccination propaganda. Why the FDA approval process takes so long for new drugs to safely come to market, and how this hinders innovation in a profit-driven pharmaceutical market. How genetic editing through new CRISPR technology may be our best hope for quickly reacting to rapidly adapting superbugs. And much more… Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/222 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! Disgraceland is a true crime podcast about musicians getting away with murder. If you love true crime and you love music, get ready to love Disgraceland here! Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

9 Juli 20191h 7min

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