I Know that She Knows that I Know that She Knows: Steven Pinker on the Mysteries of Money, Power, and Everyday Life

I Know that She Knows that I Know that She Knows: Steven Pinker on the Mysteries of Money, Power, and Everyday Life

A Note from James

I first got really impressed with Steven Pinker when he wrote The Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined. He basically shows that over the past 10,000 years, every single century has been less violent than the one before it. You might think, “That can’t include the 20th century,” right? We had World War I, World War II, atomic bombs, the flu pandemic of 1920, Vietnam—all these massive wars. But when you look at violent deaths per capita, the 20th century was actually less violent than the 1800s, which were less violent than the 1700s, and so on. It’s a beautiful, data-driven argument for optimism.

But it’s his latest book that really fascinated me: When Everyone Knows That Everyone Knows: Common Knowledge and the Mysteries of Money, Power, and Everyday Life. That subtitle alone—“common knowledge and the mysteries of money, power, and everyday life”—you can’t just skip past that. You have to know what it means.

Take poker, for example. If someone bluffs you, you have to think: are they bluffing? Or are they making me think they’re bluffing, but they’re not? Or do they know that I think they’re bluffing, so now they’re actually not bluffing at all? That kind of circular reasoning—what philosophers call “common knowledge”—shows up in real life all the time.

Like when you ask someone up for “a cup of coffee” after a date. You’re not really talking about coffee. But you’re also not saying what you actually mean. You’re hinting. You’re creating a safe, ambiguous space where both people know what’s being suggested without anyone having to say it outright. The same thing happens when you ask your boss, “Can we discuss taking on more responsibilities?” instead of saying “I want a raise.” We give partial information all the time, because being direct can change the relationship—or close off possibilities.

Steven and I talked about why we communicate this way, how shared knowledge shapes everything from flirtation to power to money, and what happens when that balance breaks down.

And by the way—if you’ve never seen Steven Pinker—he looks exactly like what you’d imagine a Harvard professor to look like. Long white hair, sharp blue eyes, and this kind of wild genius energy. Jay and I joked that he looks like Einstein meets Jimmy Page meets Beethoven. He’s the best-looking academic I’ve ever seen.

Anyway, here’s our conversation on When Everyone Knows That Everyone Knows: Common Knowledge and the Mysteries of Money, Power, and Everyday Life, with my good friend Steven Pinker.


Episode Description

In this conversation, James and Steven Pinker explore how much of life runs on signals, innuendo, and the unsaid. Pinker explains how “common knowledge”—what everyone knows that everyone else knows—shapes everything from romantic attraction to political polarization to financial panics.

They discuss why laughter matters, how game theory explains social awkwardness, and why being “brutally honest” all the time can destroy relationships. From Seinfeld to poker tables to the stock market, Pinker shows that our most human moments depend on the subtle art of leaving things unsaid.


What You’ll Learn

  • Why subtle hints and shared assumptions keep relationships, negotiations, and societies stable
  • How laughter creates “common knowledge” and strengthens social bonds
  • The role of game theory and “recursive thinking” in everything from dating to diplomacy
  • Why total honesty isn’t always a virtue—and how “rational hypocrisy” preserves relationships
  • How stock market behavior, toilet paper hoarding, and bank runs all reflect the same hidden logic


Timestamped Chapters

  • [00:00] Introduction – When everyone knows that everyone knows
  • [03:00] A Note from James: Why Pinker’s optimism matters
  • [08:00] The hidden rules of communication and “weasel words”
  • [10:00] Why we hint, wink, and avoid blurting the truth
  • [13:00] “I love you” and the creation of common knowledge
  • [16:00] How humor and laughter level the playing field
  • [20:00] Politics, laughter, and social signaling
  • [27:00] Bluffing, poker, and recursive thinking
  • [31:00] Negotiation, honesty, and the limits of directness
  • [38:00] Rational hypocrisy vs. radical honesty
  • [42:00] Stock markets, speculation, and public knowledge
  • [47:00] The toilet paper paradox: when panic becomes reality
  • [56:00] Why intimacy can’t be legislated
  • [01:00:00] Trade-offs, awareness, and flexible social norms
  • [01:01:00] The “Sagan Curse” and being a public intellectual
  • [01:04:00] The logic behind life’s unspoken rules


Additional Resources


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Avsnitt(1375)

Ep. 31 -  Jim Norton: The Art of Comedy

Ep. 31 - Jim Norton: The Art of Comedy

Today, James interviews his close friend and author of Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty-Breasted Zilch, Jim Norton.You may know Jim from his various appearances on shows or even his own stand-up routines. But what you don't know is the process behind all his achievements.Here is where you meet the real Jim Norton. You'll learn how he overcame the darkest part of his life and decided to rise above it all and "choose himself."Just like James, Jim found it difficult to perform in front of an audience, but he shares his strategy for connecting and building a quick rapport with a crowd.He gives several other tactics that have helped him overcome the anxiety and doubt that builds during his shows. His examples could be approaches that help you cure your own stage fright.Something that James and Jim both believe in is honesty. An audience responds to honesty and it's what will always work in your favor.Not only will it free you from guilt and stress, it will protect you if the truth is ever questioned in the future. To have a true connection and respectability with your fans, you need to hide nothing from them.Get ready to see a side of comedy that is not revealed very often...Enjoy!    ------------What do YOU think of the show? Head to JamesAltucherShow.com/listeners and fill out a short survey that will help us better tailor the podcast to our audience!Are you interested in getting direct answers from James about your question on a podcast? Go to JamesAltucherShow.com/AskAltucher and send in your questions to be answered on the air!------------Visit Notepd.com to read our idea lists & sign up to create your own!My new book, Skip the Line, is out! Make sure you get a copy wherever books are sold!Join the You Should Run for President 2.0 Facebook Group, where we discuss why you should run for President.I write about all my podcasts! Check out the full post and learn what I learned at jamesaltuchershow.com------------Thank you so much for listening! If you like this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to "The James Altucher Show" wherever you get your podcasts: Apple PodcastsiHeart RadioSpotifyFollow me on social media:YouTubeTwitterFacebookLinkedIn See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

25 Juli 201453min

Ep. 30 - Iron Chef Judy Joo: How She Quit Wall Street To Choose Herself

Ep. 30 - Iron Chef Judy Joo: How She Quit Wall Street To Choose Herself

In today's interview Judy Joo tells us how she went from being a high-paid Wall Street analyst to a low-paid chef. ------------What do YOU think of the show? Head to JamesAltucherShow.com/listeners and fill out a short survey that will help us better tailor the podcast to our audience!Are you interested in getting direct answers from James about your question on a podcast? Go to JamesAltucherShow.com/AskAltucher and send in your questions to be answered on the air!------------Visit Notepd.com to read our idea lists & sign up to create your own!My new book, Skip the Line, is out! Make sure you get a copy wherever books are sold!Join the You Should Run for President 2.0 Facebook Group, where we discuss why you should run for President.I write about all my podcasts! Check out the full post and learn what I learned at jamesaltuchershow.com------------Thank you so much for listening! If you like this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to "The James Altucher Show" wherever you get your podcasts: Apple PodcastsiHeart RadioSpotifyFollow me on social media:YouTubeTwitterFacebookLinkedIn See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

22 Juli 201444min

Ep. 29 - Adam Braun: How To Quit Your Job And Do What You Love

Ep. 29 - Adam Braun: How To Quit Your Job And Do What You Love

This week, Adam Braun, New York Times bestselling author and the founder of the charity Pencils of Promise, joins The James Altucher Show.  Today you will hear how Adam found his purpose in life and what near-disaster made him realize he was meant to live doing what he loved. "When you are pushed to your limit and you are faced with your own mortality, it's the expectation, almost knowledge that you have something more to live for." This is how Adam describes the moment that changed his life forever.  You probably haven't had a near death experience, but today you will learn that there is more than one way to find your purpose in life - Adam describes three. Adam has backpacked around the world, risked his life, and gained knowledge that led him to start an extraordinary charitable organization. This leads James to ask him... "Was it worth it to go to college, given that a lot of the impactful things that happened to you happened outside the classroom?"  You won't want to miss Adams response. You'll also find out where he says he learned the most.  This is the show that gives you the knowledge and tools that will lead you to a successful and significant life... and make it a story worth telling.     Enjoy! ------------What do YOU think of the show? Head to JamesAltucherShow.com/listeners and fill out a short survey that will help us better tailor the podcast to our audience!Are you interested in getting direct answers from James about your question on a podcast? Go to JamesAltucherShow.com/AskAltucher and send in your questions to be answered on the air!------------Visit Notepd.com to read our idea lists & sign up to create your own!My new book, Skip the Line, is out! Make sure you get a copy wherever books are sold!Join the You Should Run for President 2.0 Facebook Group, where we discuss why you should run for President.I write about all my podcasts! Check out the full post and learn what I learned at jamesaltuchershow.com------------Thank you so much for listening! If you like this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to "The James Altucher Show" wherever you get your podcasts: Apple PodcastsiHeart RadioSpotifyFollow me on social media:YouTubeTwitterFacebookLinkedIn See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

19 Juli 20141h 1min

Ep. 28 - Kamal Ravikant: How to Become an Angel Investor with Only $1000

Ep. 28 - Kamal Ravikant: How to Become an Angel Investor with Only $1000

This week, Kamal Ravikant, a serial entrepreneur and author of Live Your Truth, joins The James Altucher Show to talk about the secret to his success.Today's interview will reveal a side to Kamal that many people have not seen before. He shares his past... from his time in the military to the time he was bed-ridden. There are many life lessons and hardships that he has risen above... and it's here that you get the exclusive details.His experiences will remind listeners that everything can change in the blink of an eye. No matter how good or bad a situation is, it will change.Part of Kamal's success is his skillful investing techniques, and now you will hear what he specifically looks for when picking these enterprises.James asks Kamal to share the trends in the technology sector he is excited about (that nobody else knows about yet). Find out why he is excited about what he calls "the new Internet." He describes it as having no government, no private company, no middle man; it will be communication without central authority.And you won't want to miss this... James and Kamal talk about what could be a tipping point in the BitCoin community. It just takes one country... Find out why they are looking closely at Argentina.Then, James asks Kamal to talk about the success he has seen from his books. You'll hear the real secret to Kamal's success. He explains, "The key is really simple: Create something of value that's more about giving to others than to yourself and then put it where people are."Just like James, Kamal believes in being completely honest and transparent with your audience so that they can have the opportunity to relate to you and your writing.Get ready because this is the interview that gives you great insight from a truly unique entrepreneur. ------------What do YOU think of the show? Head to JamesAltucherShow.com/listeners and fill out a short survey that will help us better tailor the podcast to our audience!Are you interested in getting direct answers from James about your question on a podcast? Go to JamesAltucherShow.com/AskAltucher and send in your questions to be answered on the air!------------Visit Notepd.com to read our idea lists & sign up to create your own!My new book, Skip the Line, is out! Make sure you get a copy wherever books are sold!Join the You Should Run for President 2.0 Facebook Group, where we discuss why you should run for President.I write about all my podcasts! Check out the full post and learn what I learned at jamesaltuchershow.com------------Thank you so much for listening! If you like this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to "The James Altucher Show" wherever you get your podcasts: Apple PodcastsiHeart RadioSpotifyFollow me on social media:YouTubeTwitterFacebookLinkedIn See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

11 Juli 20141h 4min

Ep. 27 - Seth Godin: Guts and Glory

Ep. 27 - Seth Godin: Guts and Glory

This week, Seth Godin, founder and CEO of Squidoo.com joins The James Altucher Show to talk about some of the ideas behind his many bestsellers. He'll also share how he got started on his entrepreneurial path.James starts the interview by asking Seth to introduce a side of himself that many people might not know about.You'll hear how his summer as a camp instructor was where he really discovered his passion for helping people. This time of his life also is where many of the themes of his books originated.Discover which two books were most influential to James while he was starting his internet business... they could be the inspiration that you have been looking for, as well.Then, James asks Seth to talk about what the first real big push into success was for him. It was a highly successful company that you have probably never heard of.You'll find out which company it was and why Yahoo was so impressed they decided to buy it.Just like James, Seth believes in the power of storytelling. You'll hear him break down how his newest book All Marketers Are Liars embodies the importance of storytelling and the role it plays in the marketing of everything.It's a fantastic interview, where Seth really opens up, shares his path to success, and discusses what he would have done differently if he were given the chance.Enjoy! ------------What do YOU think of the show? Head to JamesAltucherShow.com/listeners and fill out a short survey that will help us better tailor the podcast to our audience!Are you interested in getting direct answers from James about your question on a podcast? Go to JamesAltucherShow.com/AskAltucher and send in your questions to be answered on the air!------------Visit Notepd.com to read our idea lists & sign up to create your own!My new book, Skip the Line, is out! Make sure you get a copy wherever books are sold!Join the You Should Run for President 2.0 Facebook Group, where we discuss why you should run for President.I write about all my podcasts! Check out the full post and learn what I learned at jamesaltuchershow.com------------Thank you so much for listening! If you like this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to "The James Altucher Show" wherever you get your podcasts: Apple PodcastsiHeart RadioSpotifyFollow me on social media:YouTubeTwitterFacebookLinkedIn See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

3 Juli 201429min

Ep. 26 - Claudia Alzula: The Power of No

Ep. 26 - Claudia Alzula: The Power of No

Today's show is a little different. Aaron is out so James asked his wife, Claudia, to join as his co-host to talk about their new book, The Power of No.How many times have you heard yourself saying "yes" to the wrong things - overwhelming requests, bad relationships, time-consuming obligations? How often have you wished you could summon the power to turn them down?James and Claudia talk about how this book is a practical guide that helps you take back that power - and shows that a well-placed "no" can not only save you time and trouble... it can save your life.Drawing on their own stories as well as feedback from their readers and students, James and Claudia clearly show that you have the right to say no to:*    Anything that is hurting you*    Standards that no longer serve you*    People who drain you of your creativity and expression*    Beliefs that are not true to the real you"It's one thing to say no," the authors explain, "it's another thing to have the 'Power of No.' When you do, you will have a stronger sense of what is good for you and the people around you, and you will have a deeper understanding of who you are. And, ultimately, you'll be free to say a truly powerful 'Yes' in your life - one that opens the door to opportunities, abundance, and love."This is like a chance to sit down with the authors and get the inside scoop.If you Pre-order NOW, before July 15, 2014, you can get THREE FREE GIFTS1.    Bonus Audio Chapter: "The Opportunity Cost of NO"2.    Bonus Audio Chapter: "What to Do When Someone Says NO - To YOU"3.    Free PDF Copy of The Choose Yourself StoriesClick here to get the details on how you can pre-order.We hope you use The Power of No and the bonus materials to live your best "Yes!" life.Enjoy! ------------What do YOU think of the show? Head to JamesAltucherShow.com/listeners and fill out a short survey that will help us better tailor the podcast to our audience!Are you interested in getting direct answers from James about your question on a podcast? Go to JamesAltucherShow.com/AskAltucher and send in your questions to be answered on the air!------------Visit Notepd.com to read our idea lists & sign up to create your own!My new book, Skip the Line, is out! Make sure you get a copy wherever books are sold!Join the You Should Run for President 2.0 Facebook Group, where we discuss why you should run for President.I write about all my podcasts! Check out the full post and learn what I learned at jamesaltuchershow.com------------Thank you so much for listening! If you like this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to "The James Altucher Show" wherever you get your podcasts: Apple PodcastsiHeart RadioSpotifyFollow me on social media:YouTubeTwitterFacebookLinkedIn See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

27 Juni 20141h 24min

Ep. 25 - Adam Carolla: The Next President of the USA

Ep. 25 - Adam Carolla: The Next President of the USA

This week, Adam Carolla, American comedian and host of The Adam Carolla Show, joins The James Altucher Show.You probably know Adam best from his show on Comedy Central, The Man Show. But what you might not know is how the show actually originated.Today, Adam reveals the secret to the show that may shock many listeners.Like James, Adam chose a more unconventional path in life.He was a college dropout who tried every job in the book. But with perseverance, he was able to go around the gatekeepers of the industry that he wanted to pursue. You'll hear all the struggles and hurdles that got Adam to where he is today.A humbling side of Adam is revealed as he shares the story of his first consistent paying job where the little things meant so much to him. Things as simple as sitting in air conditioning and getting paid to interview people... He says he just could not fathom the idea of it.Even when his ideas were shut down, he found incentive to move forward and continue building his idea muscle... Here, you'll learn that you have to break out of your comfort zone to really succeed.Plus, you won't want to miss this, Adam discusses his newest book President Me: The America That's in My Head. It's your chance to sit down and have a one-on-one with the author himself.James and Adam discuss the general entitlement that people seem to have across America, as mentioned in his book.And for anyone seeking advice or wisdom on starting a podcasting career... listen up, because Adam has several priceless suggestions.You'll also hear all about what Adam calls his "patent troll," opening up about a recent lawsuit his podcast is facing... ------------What do YOU think of the show? Head to JamesAltucherShow.com/listeners and fill out a short survey that will help us better tailor the podcast to our audience!Are you interested in getting direct answers from James about your question on a podcast? Go to JamesAltucherShow.com/AskAltucher and send in your questions to be answered on the air!------------Visit Notepd.com to read our idea lists & sign up to create your own!My new book, Skip the Line, is out! Make sure you get a copy wherever books are sold!Join the You Should Run for President 2.0 Facebook Group, where we discuss why you should run for President.I write about all my podcasts! Check out the full post and learn what I learned at jamesaltuchershow.com------------Thank you so much for listening! If you like this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to "The James Altucher Show" wherever you get your podcasts: Apple PodcastsiHeart RadioSpotifyFollow me on social media:YouTubeTwitterFacebookLinkedIn See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

20 Juni 201441min

Ep. 24 - Mark Cuban: Enough Said

Ep. 24 - Mark Cuban: Enough Said

e is all over the media... but this is an interview you won't get anywhere else!Having started out with no money, living with six guys in a three-bedroom apartment, while sleeping on the floor, it's kind of hard to believe that this person would be able to retire by age 30.But this isn't just any person, it's Mark Cuban... and that is exactly what he did. His first passion in life was getting rich, and today you get the real story about his success.It was more than just aspiration - Mark says it was about putting in the time and the desire to be self-employed and an entrepreneur that really drove his passion.What started as the motivation to simply survive his monthly bills turned into a life he could not have imagined.From his first college bar to MicroSolutions (the first company that he sold), you'll get the inside scoop on how his business ventures started and then soared to epic proportions.Plus, Mark goes into detail about his recent case with the SEC, and talks about the influence that the case had on the creation of Cyber Dust.It will surely make you think twice about sending your next text, email, tweet, or any communication over the internet. ------------What do YOU think of the show? Head to JamesAltucherShow.com/listeners and fill out a short survey that will help us better tailor the podcast to our audience!Are you interested in getting direct answers from James about your question on a podcast? Go to JamesAltucherShow.com/AskAltucher and send in your questions to be answered on the air!------------Visit Notepd.com to read our idea lists & sign up to create your own!My new book, Skip the Line, is out! Make sure you get a copy wherever books are sold!Join the You Should Run for President 2.0 Facebook Group, where we discuss why you should run for President.I write about all my podcasts! Check out the full post and learn what I learned at jamesaltuchershow.com------------Thank you so much for listening! If you like this episode, please rate, review, and subscribe to "The James Altucher Show" wherever you get your podcasts: Apple PodcastsiHeart RadioSpotifyFollow me on social media:YouTubeTwitterFacebookLinkedIn See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

13 Juni 201455min

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