346. How to avoid settling in your 20s

Sometimes we become more attached to the idea of someone and their potential, than the reality of who they actually are. We begin to project our wants and desires on to them and ignore the red flags, the disappointments, the truth. This is what we call fantasy bonding and it prevents us from seeing someone for who they truly are, causes us to be lead along and invest in the wrong people. In this episode, we break down the psychology of fantasy bonding, including:  The origins of fantasy bonding in childhood How a fantasy bond emerges  Relationship intensity and attachment Why our fear of loneliness drives us into the wrong relationships The idealisation of our partners  What happens when the fantasy fades  How to avoid a fantasy bond  Listen now.  Follow us on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

2 Feb 202436min

Anger is one of our most primal emotions and yet we have no idea how to manage it. We suppress it, allowing it to rule our lives; we hide from it, we let it explode onto people who don't deserve our rage. In this episode we break down the psychology of anger and why anger is often a secondary emotion, masking our true fear, anxiety and insecurity. We explore how to manage our anger, use it for fuel and motivation, why the anger we experience as children often leads to our inability to full express emotions, where our anger comes from and whether forgiveness truly is the solution. Listen now.  Follow us on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

30 Jan 202436min

Two of the most noteworthy elements of our 20s are dating and our experiences with mental health. They also interact - our mental health will influence how we date, how we deal with rejection, how we meet new people, and subsequently, our dating experiences can have a profound impact on our mental health. In this episode we dissect everything about this interaction and how we can take care of our mental and emotional wellbeing, avoid codependency whilst also finding the love we deserve. We also talk through some advice for people who are dating partners with mental health struggles and how to support them, whilst also not stepping into the role of caregiver or savior. Listen now!    Follow us on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

26 Jan 202444min

Being able to travel and explore the world in our 20s is such a unique privilege, but sometimes we can overdo a good thing and hit a point of complete emotional, mental and physical exhaustion, causing us to want to go home early, abandon our trip or enjoy our travels a lot less. In this episode we break down the psychology behind travel burnout, why it occurs, what it says about our human need to belong, creature comforts and my tips for overcoming the fatigue and exhaustion and getting the most out of your adventure. Listen now!  Follow us on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbegSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

23 Jan 202440min

We experience chronic guilt towards a lot of things: guilt for resting, guilt for not resting, guilt for prioritising ourselves, guilt for being a bad friend, a bad partner, a bad student, for not deserving your opportunities. In today's episode we break down the guilt complex by exploring:  The childhood guilt wound People pleasing  The fawn response  Perfectionism  Negative self esteem  We also discuss how we can overcome our chronic guilt by deciding to live for ourselves and putting energy into our wellbeing first, alongside the paradox of the guilt we feel towards ourselves vs the guilt we inflict on others. Listen now!  Follow The Psychology of your 20s: @thatpsychologypodcast Follow Jemma: @jemmasbeg  For business enquiries: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

19 Jan 202434min

In today's episode we are going to discuss the psychology behind our health anxiety, something we don't speak about enough in our 20s. Health anxiety leaves us feeling incredibly hypervigilant to symptoms or feelings in our body that could indicate a life threatening illness or impending death, even if they are just a projection or derived from stress. This comes from our need to feel in control of our bodies and a lot of primal, evolutionary origins. It can also leave us struggling with feeling connected with ourselves, unable to live out our daily lives or constantly anxious. We discuss all of this and more, as well as my 5 top tips for managing our health anxiety. Listen now! Follow us on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg  For business enquiries: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

16 Jan 202429min

Getting into a new relationship can bring up a lot of past trauma from previous relationships, and cause a lot of self sabotage or anxiety, resulting in behaviours such as:  Emotional unavailability Knit picking behaviour  Starting unnecessary fights  Stone walling  Pushing people away  Ignoring red flags  In this episode we answer the question "do you need to completely heal before entering into a new relationship?". We are joined by the incredible, Tasha Bailey, otherwise known as the Real Talk Therapist as we break down the way past relationship trauma can show up in our new relationships and how to heal whilst still accepting the love you deserve.  Follow Tasha here: @realtalk.therapist  Buy Tasha's book here: https://www.amazon.com/Real-Talk-Lessons-Therapy-Self-Love-ebook/dp/B0BGXKR5T2  Follow the podcast here: @thatpsychologypodcast  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg  For business enquiries: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

12 Jan 202438min

Many of us find ourselves obsessively focused on the opinions and judgements of others, letting their opinion of us influence our sense of self worth and confidence. However, true power and success comes when we embrace the courage to be disliked and recognise that the negative words of others come from their own insecurity, rather than as a reflection of us. In this episode we break down this concept, alongside the role of reputation, conformity, the chameleon effect and how we can embrace our authentic selves, our TRUEST selves to live in our power. Listen now!  Follow us on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast  Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg  For business enquiries: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

9 Jan 202436min