Can Love Survive Betrayal? How to Rebuild Trust and Heal Together | E480

Can Love Survive Betrayal? How to Rebuild Trust and Heal Together | E480

When trust is broken, everything changes. The person who once felt like your safest place can suddenly feel like a stranger, and finding your way back can feel impossible. In this episode, I’m joined by Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, trained relationship specialists, speakers, and authors of Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time. After a devastating betrayal early in their marriage, they did the hard, courageous work of rebuilding honesty, safety, and connection - not just for themselves, but now for the couples they help heal. We talk about what partner betrayal trauma really looks like, why “just move on” never works, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust after betrayal. From understanding trauma’s impact on your nervous system to creating emotional safety and vulnerability again, this is an honest look at how love can truly recover and grow stronger on the other side. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal 01:30 Meet Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith 05:36 The Hidden Addiction and the Moment of Truth 16:20 Beginning the Recovery Journey 27:00 The Reality of Partner Betrayal Trauma 33:20 Why “Just Move On” Doesn’t Work 43:40 How Trauma Healing Actually Happens 49:20 The Blueprint for Rebuilding Trust 58:00 Finding Purpose and True Intimacy 01:00:45 Where to Find Support and Resources What would it mean to feel safe again in your body, in your relationship, or even within yourself? How do we begin to trust when trust has been broken? And if you’re the one who caused harm, how do you face that truth with compassion and courage instead of shame? If this conversation stirs something in you… maybe memories, questions, or a quiet hope that healing is possible… I have a free resource that can help you take the next step. My Communication That Connects Masterclass was designed to help you move beyond pain and misunderstanding, and start building the kind of emotional safety that real repair depends on. Let’s stay connected - I share more insights, videos, and real talk about love and growth every week on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I’d also love to hear what resonated for you or what questions you’d like me to explore next. Let’s keep the conversation going - let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

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#228 - Grow Together, or Grow Apart

#228 - Grow Together, or Grow Apart

The past year has been a uniquely stressful time for couples, but it has also been offering a slew of "micro-moments" that can make or break a relationship. Smart couples are using these opportunities to grow stronger, closer and more connected. Other couples are missing them, and their relationships are failing as a result. Today I'm putting on my marriage counselor hat and sharing the most important things you can do to strengthen your relationship (and what to avoid at all costs) so that you can grow together instead of grow apart. Learn how to use challenges to actually strengthen your relationship. Join me!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

11 Jan 20211h 18min

#227 - Radical Self Acceptance

#227 - Radical Self Acceptance

How about this idea for a #NewYearsGoal? Learn how to practice radical self acceptance, and love yourself, for who and what you already are. Learning how to be okay with not being okay, have compassion for yourself and others, and grow in your authenticity may sound like the antithesis of personal development, but the opposite is true:  The practice of radical acceptance can (paradoxically) lead to transformational change on every level.  Learn how to lean in, in this episode.  And happy new year! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

4 Jan 202149min

#226 - Learn and Grow

#226 - Learn and Grow

On the cusp of a new year it can be easy to over-focus on constant-and-never-ending self-improvement, new goals, the next step, and all the things you have yet to achieve. But the truth is that you have already grown so much, learned so much, and done so much. Sometimes it can be more empowering to slow down and respect the enormous amount of work you already have done rather than pushing yourself. Amazing things happen when you learn to appreciate the strength, accomplishments, courage, growth, and wisdom you already possess. I'm walking you through how to tap into all that you are, on this episode. You're already incredible! xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: I've created an activity for you to journal through the questions I'm asking on today's show if you'd like. Access it here: https://www.growingself.com/learn-and-grow

29 Dec 202036min

#225 - The Greatest Gift Is You

#225 - The Greatest Gift Is You

In this season of gift giving, it can be easy to forget what our loved ones really want and need from us: Our unconditional love, trust, kindness, appreciation, attention, time, understanding, empathy, respect, emotional safety, and cherishing. That's what we all want! However, we cannot provide those things for anyone without first prioritizing our own wellness and personal growth. Today's episode is all about helping you cultivate the highest and best in yourself so that you can better appreciate how much you matter, and fully embrace the amazing gift of your growth. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

21 Dec 202047min

#224 - Honest Advice From an Online Dating Coach

#224 - Honest Advice From an Online Dating Coach

If you're currently single you've probably experienced first hand the new online dating reality: Dating in the pandemic age is more complex than ever. However, there are fantastic opportunities to create healthy new relationships — if you know the pitfalls to avoid. On this episode of the podcast, get expert online dating coach advice from dating coach Markie K. She shares her top "dating advice do's and don'ts" to help you navigate the new modern dating landscape with clarity and confidence. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: Get even MORE of Markie's great dating advice on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

14 Dec 202032min

#223 - What Men Secretly Want? Emotional Intimacy.

#223 - What Men Secretly Want? Emotional Intimacy.

Men crave emotional connection too. But our culture can lead boys and men towards toxic masculinity that impedes emotional intelligence, and damages emotional health (not to mention relationships!) My guest today is Andrew Reiner, frequent contributor to the New York Times and the author of Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency. He's generously sharing the strategies his research has uncovered for how to cultivate emotional health and connected relationships with men. If you are a man (or love one!) "What Men Secretly Want" is a must listen. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

7 Dec 20201h 3min

#222 - Discernment Counseling

#222 - Discernment Counseling

I've had many "my relationship is on the brink, what do I do?" questions from listeners lately. When one person is half out the door, standard-issue relationship advice and conventional marriage counseling approaches can make things worse. But Discernment Counseling — a special, obscure type of couples counseling — can still save your relationship. In today's episode we're doing a deep dive into the unique dynamics of failing relationships in order to help you use the principles of discernment counseling to potentially turn things around. Join me!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby More relationship questions? Leave them for me (and help yourself to more free resources) on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

30 Nov 20201h

#221 - Dysfunctional Family Roles

#221 - Dysfunctional Family Roles

Were you the perfect child? The clown? The scapegoat? If you weren't who your family needed you to be, did other people fall apart? Without self-awareness and intentional correction, dysfunctional family roles from your family of origin can sabotage your adult relationships. In this podcast episode I'm sharing strategies to help you learn how to overcome the legacy of a dysfunctional family, stop the cycle, and develop healthy relationships today. Join me! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby More about Dysfunctional Family Roles on GrowingSelf.com...

23 Nov 20201h 4min

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