Framed By The System: Amy Polacko On The Abuser's Playbook In Family Court

In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern sits down with award-winning journalist, divorce coach, and advocate Amy Polacko, co-author of Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld.

Together, they explore how gaslighting and coercive control extend far beyond personal relationships—and into the legal systems meant to protect survivors.

Amy shares her own journey through divorce and the family court system, offering a rare insider's perspective on how abusers weaponize the courts to maintain control. From financial gaslighting and emergency custody motions to the misuse of mental health records, Amy and Robin expose the systemic biases and misogynistic tropes that often paint women as "hysterical" or "vengeful."

The conversation also empowers listeners with concrete strategies for navigating these challenges. Amy outlines steps women can take before filing for divorce—such as building a support team, documenting evidence, and creating a financial plan—and stresses the importance of working with attorneys who truly understand coercive control.

Listeners will gain insight into how to rebuild self-trust after gaslighting, how to protect themselves emotionally and legally, and why reforms like Kayden's Law are critical to safeguarding children and survivors.

Key Takeaways:

How gaslighting and coercive control play out in family court.

The importance of silent preparation and strategic planning before divorce.

Why choosing the right attorney can make all the difference.

Practical steps for documenting abuse and protecting finances.

How to begin trusting your instincts again after manipulation.

Resources Mentioned:

Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld by Amy Polacko and colleagues

Divorce Decoded digital course by Amy Polacko

Freedom Warrior Coaching and support groups for survivors

Tune in for an essential conversation that sheds light on a hidden crisis—and offers a roadmap for recovery, empowerment, and change.

To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com.

Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone.

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Dr. Robin Stern's Books:

The Gaslight Effect

The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide

Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders

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