36. Penis Performance Pointers - Lasting Longer with Jeff Abraham

Do people with disabilities have a right to be sexual? And what can they teach able-bodied people about intimacy and sexuality?    On this episode, Sara and co-host Kat talk to Carmen Yau, a registered social worker with a PhD from Hong Kong Polytechnic University and founder of erotica collection, “Sugar’s XXX Stories”.   Having been born with spinal muscular atrophy, Carmen is an iconic spokesperson for the sexual equality of people with disabilities and women. She is very vocal about breaking the taboo of people with disabilities often being considered asexual, as well as debunking other myths.   Armed with her own personal experiences living in a traditional Asian culture which focuses on “infantilising” people with disabilities as a form of protection, she shares how she was able to explore her sexuality, in spite of her physical limitations.   In particular, she talks about the creativity that people with disabilities use in terms of coming up with unique sex toys, sex positions, and even how their bodies can sometimes develop heightened senses that can lead to “abstract orgasms”   This episode will challenge your idea of what is considered “normal” in sex and sexuality. Listen in as Carmen shares an empowering message for everyone, whether disabled or able-bodied -about loving one’s body and valuing oneself. She believes that how you perceive yourself impacts how you conduct yourself with others, and how fruitful your life will be.   --- How confident a lover are you? Take the quiz Follow us on Instagram Detailed show notes for this episode here. P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)

27 Feb 20201h 3min

How do we keep that initial passion for sex and intimacy alive for the long-haul?   Highly sought after sexual/marital psychotherapist and founder of The Academy of Lasting Love, Nikki Green shares some illuminating lessons with Sara and co-host Kat from over 20 years of experience primarily working with women in Hong Kong.   She believes that great sex can definitely survive over the long-haul however it’s a myth that it will just happen spontaneously and naturally. Sex is usually full of passion early on in the relationship, but the reality is that this addictive “dopamine high” gradually drops as time passes, and extra effort is required if a couple wants to maintain a healthy sex life.   Nikki emphasizes being deliberate around keeping that spark alive throughout your relationship, regardless of desire. In her view, relying on desire alone isn’t enough to keep a relationship consistently juicy as desire goes up or down at any time.   Instead, making sex in a relationship last is about a commitment to connection, adventure, intimacy and requires a whole different mindset. A big part of which includes scheduling and showing up fully. Listen in as Nikki lays out a roadmap to make this a reality in any relationship!   Download Nikki’s free Spice of Love mini-course – Conversations for Deeper and more Fulfilling Intimacy, which includes questions you can ask each other to immediately improve intimacy and erotic satisfaction.  --- How confident a lover are you? Take the quiz Follow us on Instagram Detailed show notes for this episode here P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)

13 Feb 20201h 2min

Ever felt self-conscious about your body during sex? Studies show that shame and anxiety about one's body lead to the avoidance of physical intimacy and reduced sexual satisfaction.   On this episode, Sara and co-host Kat follow Curvasian.com founder and body positive advocate Bertha Chan through her journey that led her to thrive as a plus-size woman in Asia.   Having never been able to find a dress to fit into growing up—not to mention having to endure judgement from those who were dear to her—a fateful encounter with a plus size and body positivity community on Instagram inspired Bertha to take an active role in empowering millions of women just like her around the world.   Bertha touches on why its so important that body positivity starts with self acceptance, and not relying on other people to validate you.   She also shares some of her strategies around becoming more body confident in the bedroom, including how to have an open conversation with one’s partner and also how she asks her partner to shower love on the specific body parts she feels insecure about during sex.   This is a brave, vulnerable conversation about resisting the challenges and pressures that society places upon us to look a certain way or fit a certain mould. Regardless of what size or shape you are, we learn what can be done to cultivate a stronger sense of body positivity as a practice in our day-to-day lives, and of course, our sex life! --- How confident a lover are you? Take the quiz Follow us on Instagram Detailed show notes for this episode here P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)

30 Jan 20201h 9min

We all love orgasms because they feel good, but are we actually using them to their full potential?   Life and business coach Ying Han Cheng or “Hani” from YOLO Abundance believes that we can harness powerful orgasmic energy to create abundance and success in the rest of our lives – including our careers, business and personal lives.    On this episode, Hani shares the philosophy behind the YUMMY orgasm, a unique practice brought about by orgasmic meditation, which combines mindfulness and orgasm.  The goal of this practice is not orgasm per se, but rather tapping into our transformative life force, and expanding our experience of pleasure, fulfillment and vitality.   Things start getting considerably juicier as Sara and co-host Kat then demonstrate a 5 minute orgasmic meditation on-air together with Hani, who breaks it down step-by-step.    Want to learn more about transforming your life with YUMMY orgasms? Hani has created a free mini-course especially for Better in Bed listeners with practical secrets and strategies on how to get started.   --- How confident a lover are you? Take the quiz. Follow us on Instagram. Detailed show notes for this episode here. P.S. if you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)

10 Nov 20191h 12min

How has technology changed the world of dating and finding love?   In some ways, the Internet has made it easier to meet and connect with people outside our immediate social circle. Yet it’s also exploded our options, and the choices can be paralysing. So finding love could be more challenging.   Sara and co-host Prescott (http://prescottgaylord.com), discuss the impact that online dating has had on our psyches, and whether we still believe in romance.   Or if ghosting and unsolicited dick pics have gotten in the way.   We are also joined by Lauryn Huang, the ex-CEO of Grouvly, a dating and matchmaking agency based in Singapore.   As a trained matchmaker, Lauryn is a staunch believer in love and wants to help people find real connection. Often she helps clients who have become jaded with swiping, online dating and want a more personal touch.   In addition to finding her clients tailored matches, she also coaches them on how to become the most fulfilled and attractive people they can be.   She talks Sara and Prescott through setting up a matchmaking profile, and reveals the mojo behind her matchmaking methodology… to hilarious results! --- How confident a lover are you? Take the quiz.  Follow us on Instagram.  Detailed show notes for this episode.

29 Sep 20191h 13min

We all know that wellness is important, but how about sexual wellness?   Sara and co-host Ben are recording from London this episode, and they talk to Billie Quinlan and Anna Hushlak, the creators of Ferly (formerly called Leika at time of recording), an app that guides women through various areas of sexual wellness, aiming to transform their relationship to sex.   Billie and Anna introduce the concept of sexual wellness, which is not merely the freedom from sexual dysfunction, but also the ability to experience sexual pleasure.We discuss why people sometimes don’t equate sex with wellness and as such, tend to overlook it.   Billie and Anna deliver an empowering message – equating sexual wellness with self-respect and self-love, and defining the impact that it has on a woman's entire life, not just in the bedroom. --- How confident a lover are you? Take the quiz:   Follow us on Instagram. Show notes for this episode here.

5 Sep 20191h 8min

Want more “Secrets of the Bedroom”? Cumming right up!    **This sequel episode covers all the material that we’d crowdsourced for the live show but didn’t end up being featured due to time - and public decency - constraints. We recommend that you listen to episode 19 before this episode to get the full Secrets experience.**    Jye and Sara are joined by Kat Leung, our live show panelist as we reflect on the highlights of the live show, as well as the entire Better in Bed season.    We share more bedroom secrets to answer your burning questions - getting in the mood, sex positions, trying new things in the bedroom and more.     We also respond to awkward sex stories and tackle some of the sillier entries that might get you blushing. Hint: anal sex features prominently!  ---- Want to get even Better in Bed? Download the audio guide. Follow us on Instagram. Detailed show notes for this episode here. Produced by Jye Smith (@jyesmith, jye@doublestar.co)

14 Feb 20191h 5min

What's the secret to.... having a threesome? Having anal sex pleasurably? Using a strap-on? Or keeping sex fresh in a long-term relationship?    Everything is on the table at our live podcast, which was recorded on International Women's Day, and featured a panel of our favourite podcast guests and sex experts answering burning questions crowdsourced from our audience, i.e. you!   We laughed (and maybe died a little inside) over the awkward sex stories that were shared and some of the things you wished more of your partners knew in the bedroom.    This episode celebrated a significant milestone for our podcast, and we are grateful to everyone who contributed in helping us make sex something we all want to talk about!    --- Want to get even Better in Bed? Download the audio guide. Follow us on Instagram. Detailed show notes for this episode here.  Produced by Jye Smith (@jyesmith, jye@doublestar.co)

10 Dec 20181h 2min