The Man Who Taught the World That She Comes First (ft. Ian Kerner)

The Man Who Taught the World That She Comes First (ft. Ian Kerner)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of the groundbreaking bestseller She Comes First, He Comes Next, and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. They talk about why his 2004 classic is still changing bedrooms two decades later, how the clitoris remains misunderstood, and what makes sex truly great.

We discuss:

- Why She Comes First is still a global bestseller 21 years later

- ⁠The science of the clitoris and its internal structures

- Why all orgasms are clitoral — and what “outercourse” really means

- Why penetration-only sex leads to bad sex and performance anxiety

- The most common sexual problems heterosexual couples face today

- How to shift from intercourse-focused sex to pleasure-focused sex

- Why rhythm and persistence are essential for clitoral stimulation

- Why novelty helps early on but routine deepens connection

- How rushing and orgasm-chasing have ruined slow sex

- The differences between male and female arousal cycles

- ⁠The three assurances every giver should offer during oral sex

- Why enthusiasm is the sexiest thing a partner can show

- How women’s insecurities (“I’m taking too long,” “Do I smell?”) block pleasure

- Why giving oral sex might be the key to your erection problems


An unfiltered, intimate conversation about why She Comes First is still essential reading and how better sex starts with slowing down, getting curious, and caring more.


Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA69 to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 65% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2544-alexa

Avsnitt(103)

Gay Hookup Culture, Pretty Dicks & Settling Down (ft. Jeff Perla)

Gay Hookup Culture, Pretty Dicks & Settling Down (ft. Jeff Perla)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Jeff Perla, host of Oh Dear I’m Queer, for a candid, funny, and unfiltered conversation about queer sex, dating, and intimacy. We discuss:Mornin...

25 Sep 20251h 1min

How to Handle Rejection and Love the Messy Side of Yourself (ft. Ali Weiss)

How to Handle Rejection and Love the Messy Side of Yourself (ft. Ali Weiss)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Ali Weiss, New York native, host of Tales of Taboo and unapologetic oversharer, for a raw conversation about rejection, vulnerability, and why we’re...

18 Sep 202554min

Sexual Fantasies 101: Which to Keep, Which to Live Out (ft. Vee from Girls Gone Deep)

Sexual Fantasies 101: Which to Keep, Which to Live Out (ft. Vee from Girls Gone Deep)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back in bed with Vee, co-host of Girls Gone Deep and almost-certified somatic sex and relationship coach, for a juicy conversation all about sexual fantasies....

11 Sep 20251h 5min

The Truth About Mismatched Sex Drives and How to Fix It (ft. Natassia Miller)

The Truth About Mismatched Sex Drives and How to Fix It (ft. Natassia Miller)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified sexologist and Wonderlust founder Natassia Miller for a deep dive into one of the most common struggles in relationships: mismatched d...

4 Sep 202552min

How to Have Better Sex in a Body You Don’t Like (ft. Elle Chase)

How to Have Better Sex in a Body You Don’t Like (ft. Elle Chase)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Elle Chase (@theellechase), certified life coach, sexologist, sexuality educator, author, and one of the most respected voices in the body acceptanc...

28 Aug 202555min

Sex, Grief & Pleasure (ft. Laura Desirée)

Sex, Grief & Pleasure (ft. Laura Desirée)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Laura Desirée — absolute stranger, intimacy coordinator and pleasure educator — for an unforgettable conversation about how sex, grief, and shame ...

21 Aug 202552min

Does Your Vulva Make You Self-Conscious During Sex? Let’s Fix That (ft. Gabriella Scaringe)

Does Your Vulva Make You Self-Conscious During Sex? Let’s Fix That (ft. Gabriella Scaringe)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Gabriella Scaringe, founder of Cherri, to explore sexuality and vulvas in the real world — pubic hair trends, labia diversity, harmful language we...

14 Aug 202556min

Mindful Dating: Avoiding Situationships & Building Strong Relationships (ft. Connie Collins)

Mindful Dating: Avoiding Situationships & Building Strong Relationships (ft. Connie Collins)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back with another deep dive into the world of dating, this time with award-winning sex educator and ghostwriter Connie Collins (@thefirstdatediaries). We expl...

31 Juli 20251h 1min

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